I’d like to take a moment to have a serious academic discussion about the Vuvuzela and its cultural heritage and significance, as it applies to the World Cup.

The Vuvuzela, a large, reedless, plastic trumpetlike device, is a creation of South Africa’s diverse African American sporting audiences. They cause loud noise up to 140 dB in strength, which is easily enough to cause permanent hearing loss. Despite the concern over the aural interruption the Vuvuzela may have en mbume in the World Cup, it was decided that it would be allowed, as it was deemed “an aspect of South African culture.” Even so, it BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

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ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ have no idea why the British decided to give back their colony to the same uncivilized nig bBZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ that could think such a thing was even remotely sportsmanlike. Before the Whites came to the region, South African culture was subsistence at best, with great corruption and poverty, much like other surrounding African countries are today — the ones that never had “imperialist” White (read: SuperiBZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ to look at these outside inhabitants as role models. The Western cultures brought civility and a sense of propriety to region, and they also brought soccer. These same forces would have never condoned the Vuvuzela, a tool of backward, tribal values and evidence that “Independence” of the region was a mistake. Even Nelson Mandela could see that the Whites had a lot of values to emulate, as when he said, and I paraphrase, “Control yourselves, you damn nBZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ or I’ll live until I’m like 100 and be shaking my head the whole time. Then they’ll make a movie called Invictus about me, and if you hoodlums don’t behave and shape up, it’ll be mostly about Matt Damon.”

I think I’ve profoundly demonstrated that the Vuvuzela should be banned, despite its importance to South Africa. We must all evolve as citizens and human beings; after all, if we didn’t evolve, we’d still be chimps like the natives of South AfBZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

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