Shadow Hare Posted:

Dr. Death is dead. You’ve lost touch with what it means to be a superhero, when you can’t even keep track of which of your nemeses are alive or dead.

Yeah, he’s dead right now, but that **** comes back every other week or so. That’s why they call him ‘Dr. Death’.

And don’t kid yourself about that whole ‘what it means to be a superhero’ thing. In a strangely lucid moment for myself, I recently realised that most of us do what we do for the power, and the sheer liberating satisfaction of beating a guy up without any ramifications. It’s less about fighting injustice, and more about the prestige of being a superhero. If justice is what we truly cared about, we would tackle things such as corrupt corporations desecrating the rainforest, or the governments who oppress and abuse their citizens. Instead, we stick to the relatively ‘safe’ and ‘image enhancing’ approach of apprehending street crime (and the odd supervillian). Ask yourself this: what does this make us?

It makes us a couple of sexually confused men in tights that do good to further our own ends.

Woah. That was weird.

Casanova Frankenstein Posted:

So, Captain Amazing, I have one question for you; how many of your precious corporate sponsors do you think will still be interested in your brand once I’ve eliminated 95% of your fanbase?

HAHAHAAHAAA!

Ah, it feels good to laugh again.

Hi Frankie! It’s good to see you again. Where’ve you be-? Oh right, prison.

Anyway, tons of stuff has been happening since you’ve been gone- Did you know they made a movie about us? It was completely inaccurate of course, but it was kinda fun seeing Greg Kinnear’s portrayal of me on the big screen. Well, it would have been if they didn’t kill me off.

Man, we’ve got so much to catch up on. We should do lunch sometime.

Anyway, keeping up appearances, you’ll never get away with this latest scheme, you fiend. We know how this always goes, so you might as well just tell me the whole plan and be done with it. Why 95%, by the way? Is it to demoralise the remaining 5% so that they stop believing in me, therefore sending me into a downwards spiral of drink and depression? Yeah, it’s a bit too late for that, but the thought is appreciated.

See you around!