It was a hot and sweaty afternoon in Squeakycity; the clocks were squeaking 1 O’clock, and the neighborhood was bustling. “Bother” yawned Carl as he staggered out of the sink. “I really shouldn’t have drunk so much last night”. Stretching his little arms, Carl padded into the foyer in search of a Grande Three Splenda Latte. It was at this point that Carl noticed the supine form of his good friend and occaisional alter ego Jak, lying on the floor. Jak wasn’t in a good mental state. Stark nude, and curled around a truck tire that had mysteriously appeared in his attic, Jak had bite marks all over his body, and a large black Flehlight protruding from his bum. “Wow,” thought Carl, “that was some bash! Note to self: order more fleshlights.” Stepping over his friend’s prostate form, and gingerly avoiding the large pools of bumorted bodily fluids and alcohol, Carl made his way towards the basement, the sweet scent of roasted brownies enticing his protesting body forward. Just one more room to go…

Next time on The Often Confusing, Confounding and Downright Family Un-Friendly Adventures of the SqueakyCity Crips: Will Carl get his brownies? What horrors await in the basement? And will jak let go of his truck tire? All this and more, next time on TOVIJKJDJKBHJBFRHJVD!!!!!!!

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me trying to be original