September 14th, 2009

All this time, they’ve never suspected him. They didn’t even recognize him. Now was his chance, with Evil Trout and Jalapeno Bootyhole asleep, nothing could stop him from destroying the forumwarz servers, ruining several years of work of his colleagues. He raised the hammer above him, but as he was about to bring it down, he remembered the day they betrayed him, he remembered why he must do this.

Early Spring, 1997

Bingebot awoke at 5:00AM sharp, as on every other day. He gulped down his usual shake, consisting of a cup of whole milk, 3 to 4 raw eggs, and some chocolate sauce. He then descended the stairs to see the wide open fields of his farm. He proceeded to do some regular chores, and woke the slaves up at around 9. He gave them Monday morning off. Robin Ward and Mike Drach went out into the fields and slaved in the hot sun all day, milking cows, collecting eggs, plowing fields, getting ready for the planting.

Bingebot rode on his great tractor, and occasionally chased the slaves with it, when feeling bored. He rode into his farmhouse, and woke his wife. If was now noon. If she awoke in a timely manner, they could catch a matinee performance of Titanic. Bingebot made sure the shackles of his slaves were secure, and left for the show. Mike and Robin began talking, they were going to escape from this vile place, and make it to Toronto, the land of opportunity.

They went to the plow, and saw that their plan worked. By attaching a 50 gallon tank of kerosene to the back of the plow, it had spread the fire juice around the field. Mike did the honors, and threw a match onto the field, and together they ran from the farm, explosions behind them.

September 14th, 2009

Bingebot was now going to destroy what they’ve worked for, exactly how they destroyed his. He heard stirring behind him. He turned to see ET on the ground behind him, but JB was gone. He turned again, JB had a metal rod. And JB said

“Bingebot. It’s been good. But your time has come”

The metal rod swung down onto Bingebot’s skull until he was dead.

—————

Bingebot was buried next to the ashes of his farm, in Utah.