Once upon a time there was this one family that had a series of

socially disfunctional traits, not the least of which was their

penchant for capturing hitchhikers, taking them home and bum****ing

them before skinning them alive and making hitchhiker pot pie out of

what remained of their mutilated corpses. One day the dad, whose name

was Hambone, was driving home after a hard day at the charcoal

factory and he saw these three hitchhikers that were on their way to

a Debbie Boone concert over to the next county. Hambone pulled his

‘62 Dodge van over and the three hitchhikers, who were all Southern

Baptists and mildly very special, piled in, each clutching a Debbie Boone

album brought along in the hope that Ms. Boone would sign them.

“Thank you for picking us up and praise Jesus,” said the first one as

he climbed in. “You’re welcome,” said Hambone, reaching out a hand to

help each of the hitchhikers into the van. As soon as they were in,

Hambone closed the door, reached into the glove compartment and

whipped out a snubnosed .38 revolver. Then he killed the hitchhikers

and started to bum**** their corpses right there on the side of the

road. Meanwhile, about twenty miles away, Debbie Boone’s tour bus had

broken down and she was going to be late for the concert. Luckily a

Montana state trooper offered to give her a ride, but when they were

driving past Hambone’s van, it was parked too close to the road so

the trooper asked Debbie Boone if it was alright to stop and give it

a ticket. After Debbie Boone said it would be OK, the trooper went

over to the van and noticed a huge pool of blood underneath it and

that it was rocking back and forth and that there was severe moans

coming from inside. The door wasn’t locked so the trooper opened it

just as Hambone was about to stick his male reproductive organ into the throat slit he’d

carved into the neck of one of the hitchhikers. “Holy ****,” yelled

the trooper, but Hambone was so engrossed in his pleasure taking that

he didn’t even notice. Suddenly the trooper realized he’d always

wanted to bum**** a dead body while another man ****ed a throat

wound on the same body, so he climbed into the van and started

putting his male reproductive organ into the bumhole of the dead hitchhiker. After about

twenty minutes, Debbie Boone got to wondering where the trooper had

got off to and began to worry that she would be late for the concert

and dissapoint all her many fans. So she got out of the car and

walked over to the van and looked in and saw what was happening. At

first she was freaked out about seeing a state trooper bum****ing a

dead person while another guy ****ed him in the throat, but then she

started to get a little turned on by it. Then she got the idea that

she would take a **** while laying on her stomach so that the ****

would go all over her bum and legs and then jump on top of the

trooper and Hambone and get **** all on them and then pee on them and

then masturbate to it. But before she could do it a dumptruck pulled

up that was driven by Hambone’s oldest son who was named Archibald.

Archibald pulled the dumptruck up to the van and walked over just as

Debbie Boone was ****ting into the air and it came back down and

landed on her bum. Archibald yelled into the van, “Hey Dad, I got a

dumptruck full of dead policemen and I’m going over to Gramma’s house

and there’s going to be a party and we’re all going to bum****

them.” Hambone and the trooper, who had by that time become good

friends, stopped ****ing the corpse and decided to go with Archibald.

But when they saw Debbie Boone laying in the middle of the highway

with **** and pee all over her they decided to postpone their plan

for a few minutes and bum**** her. After all three of them had

bum****ed Debbie Boone, they all went to Gramma’s house and took

turns bum****ing the four dozen dead policemen that were in

Archibald’s dump truck.