INCIT sucks. We all know it and if you disagree then you’re unfunny and terrible. Sorry, but it’s true. Now, I’m an INCIT fabulous person from way back and in my opinion things weren’t always this bad. If Bruce Springsteen’s celebratory ode to living in the past “Glory Days” has taught me anything, it’s that memories are the best place to dwell.
Another Springsteen song taught me that if you want something fixed you have to throw money at it (I think the song might’ve been “The River” or “Atlantic City” ). That’s why, at tonight at midnight EST, 30 Days of INCIT will start. For 30 straight days those playing INCIT will have the chance to win one BP a day. Not a lot, but there’s no limit to how many BP you can win.*
How do you win? By being FUNNY. BOLD. ITALICS. FUNNY. Also, CREATIVE and CLEVER. I’ll go through the day’s wins in the Hall of **** and pick the one I find funniest and send the winner a BP. The next day it starts all over again and the next day until October 18th (I’m pretty sure that’s 30 days, but I took retard math in high school, so maybe not). If someone kicks major bum, there might even be an E-Peen in it for you.
Is it fair that I’m appointing myself the comedy judge? No, not really, but I’m the one with the BP, so shut the **** up.
Am I a sellout for aiding Crotch Zombie with INCIT/Protivate? Yes, and I’m getting half the profits for all Protivate sales (so far I have to pay them about $44.01 to help cover the developer’s fee).
Am I afraid that I’ll purposefully or inadvertently favor or discount certain players? No, I hate you all.
To help you out, I’ll list some things I find absolutely unfunny in INCIT:
– Any submissions that equates to “WTF????? THIS PIC IZ WEIRD!!!!”
– Any submission that involves a meme.
– Most submissions that have nothing to do with the picture.
– Any submission that is an exact copy of one I’ve seen before. This includes blatantly stealing a previous win (even if it’s your own) or using something that’s been done to death such as “Dear Diary, Jackpot” or something about women needing to be in the kitchen.
– I’m going to try not to favor submissions that reference something I like. That’s not fair and it’s kind of lazy.
In the event that a day yields nothing funny, I will keep my BP for that day. Also, there’s a chance I might be playing a little. I won’t reward myself with a BP, but every win for me is one less chance for you to win.
Hopefully, this contest will get people into the habit of being good INCIT players. I am positive that after the 30 days are over, INCIT’s newfound stability will match that of Iraq’s. Now, get out there, and stop being ****, people! Also, no trolling. Except for me, I can troll. You can’t.
*Technically, the limit is 30.