...FANS. GOD LOVE ‘EM.

SO ANYWAY, YOU ALL KNOW I’M GREAT AND SO DO I, SO WE’RE ON THE SAME PAGE (OF KNOWING HOW AWESOME I AM, NOT THE SAME PAGE OF GREATNESS, I GOT MY OWN PAGE, THANKS FOR UNDERSTANDING THIS DESERVING ACCOMPLISHMENT.)

BUT THERE ARE SOME THINGS MANY OF YOU MAY NOT KNOW ABOUT ME.

FOR INSTANCE, DID YOU KNOW I HAVE A HUGE male reproductive organ? IT’S TRUE. IT’S SO BIG IT HURTS THE LADIES, BUT LADIES DON’T BE AFRAID I’M GENTLE WITH IT SO YOU CAN EASE INTO ME. YOU’RE BODY WILL ADAPT TO IT’S SIZE. IT’S NATURAL TO GO THROUGH SOME GROWING PAINS.

HANG ON, ANOTHER AUTOGRAPH…