nanafabulous personjesus Posted:
General Romnav was born into a poor family. When he was young he decided he would do better for his kids, and promised to never let his children go through what he did. General had a hard time in High School, he was never one for cliques. He never got a girlfriend, but then he got into college, and that all changed. His parents mortgaged their house to pay for his schooling, but they knew it was worth it. In college General met the most beautiful women he had ever laid eyes on. They immediately hit it off. They went through the usual process of courtship, and got married. They were both successful and decided to have children. They had a beautiful young boy. One night General came home from work to discover his wife and child were not there. He was mildly worried, but bumumed they had gone out on an errand. Hours past and he became anxious. Then the phone rang.
General’s wife had gotten into a car wreck and both her and his son had died. She was on her way to get poptarts, and while driving back home she looked into the rear view to smile at her at her wonderful child – but in that instant she looked away, a truck came careening right towards her. Blood, guts and poptarts flew everywhere. One officer commented that ‘It was the most disgusting thing he’d ever seen.’
And than General was a zombie.
’’Here he is, the Biggest Douche of the Universe! In all the galaxies, there’s no bigger douche than you!
You’ve reached the top, the pinnacle of douchedom! Good going, douche. Your dreams have come true! ’’