The word cool is just a word.

The real thing?

You are looking at it, woman's genitalschomper!.

See? I don’t even use such not-so-cool expletives like male reproductive organsucker, I make my own **** and pro-feminist while they rim my bum. Now, excuse me, I have a line of ladies still on my reservation hotline for slipping bum beads into their bumes.

What? Not satisfied?

Go on, take a shot at me. I said it once before in INCIT I say it again. I am:

A soldier, a sergeant to be exact for the ground combat infantry that you can only dare dream of getting into and survive getting out of. I have returned from Iraq, yeah that is right, I saw with my own two eyes Saddam’s figure toppled down in the town. I took 3 shots at 2 civilian martyrs just before they could get close to a marketplace and neutralized a bomb threat. ME, moi, etc. Don’t mean to take the credit, but guess who just saved 200 people?

I got a bullet wound and a knife wound on my private parts, I could very much tell you here and now I don’t have a member anymore, it is replaced by a vivid scar. Yet, look here, I survived an ordeal which most of you cool kids probably don’t even know about. I have 7 surgeries to reattach 3 torn muscles, (and I do mean TORN, as it RIPPED OUT), I handled a gun and have personally got my share of shooting guerilla fighters down.

Yes, no doubt man, I may be off for an early retirement, but if you are looking for a cool guy who has 6 ****ing books to write about soon, and enough stories to tell the grandkids six generations over and still keep it fresh while being remarkably pleasant as an individual face to face for a fancy dinner and dance at a 5 star French dining room with ‘aftercare’ service, you are looking at him.

I am so cool, I should avoid using the word cool.

It is too dangerous, or I might get mobbed.

That is how cool I am.

(oops)