Some non-essential stuff removed for brevity. Also, it might not be apparent, but AAHZ is drunk.

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Chapter 1: AAHZ Talked to a Girl

AAHZ: think about hthat

10:11PM

Thought_Police: fairly cute too

AAHZ: i talked to duca

AAHZ: on skype

AAHZ: 10 minutes ago

AAHZ: think

Crinkz: http://www.forumwarz.com/buy_stuff/transfer_to/Crinkz

AAHZ: ill wait whie you hthink

Raepdog: AAHZ: oh by the way cool cat

AAHZ: i kno

10:12PM

AAHZ: ill talk to her agiann at `111

Chapter 2: Elaboration of Key Themes

10:12PM

AAHZ: i taljed to duca

AAHZ: i talked to duca

Crinkz: I’ll buy you more beer for 4bp

AAHZ: in preson’

Raepdog: AAHZ: civiliazation is a cool game

AAHZ: i talked duca

Raepdog: AAHZ: Cool is she hot

AAHZ: in voice

Raepdog: is she funny?

10:13PM

AAHZ: yup

Raepdog: cool

Raepdog: okay

AAHZ: im relly drunk

Raepdog: back to sucking FalCon’s male reproductive organ for BP

AAHZ: wait

10:14PM

AAHZ: i talked to duca

AAHZ: and you didnt

AAHZ: i win the interne

AAHZ: *yawn*

Thought_Police: FAIL: yo dude you see the natalie thread in our forums

AAHZ: wait pox

AAHZ: plox think about this

10:15PM

AAHZ: i talk ot duca in person

AAHZ: and none of you did not

AAHZ: ???

10:15PM

AAHZ: profit,

Chapter 3: Methods

AAHZ: i honestly dont remember wat i said to her

10:16PM

Thought_Police: Raepdog: http://www.forumwarz.com/discussions/view/19412-itt-i-m-gonna-post-some-ugly-pictures-of-some-fabulous person-named-something_witty

AAHZ: lol

AAHZ: i think ibragged about my life

Butch Deadlift: How does one transfer money/items to anoter person?

10:16PM

AAHZ: and all my pimpage

Chapter 4: The B Story

AAHZ: Evil Trout: i want you to think for a minute plox

10:18PM

AAHZ: Evil Trout: most of 4chan admires me

Crinkz: Evil Trout: lol

AAHZ: Evil Trout: you want 4chan’smoney, they admire me

Evil Trout: see, I told you guys 4chan wouldn’t ruin everything

10:19PM

Crinkz: Evil Trout: They have.

Crinkz: Who cares about aahz

Crinkz: lol

Evil Trout: haha

Thought_Police: Evil Trout: how would you know you never come on the forums

AAHZ: i control 4chan really

10:19PM

AAHZ: srsly i do

Chapter 5: The Two Plots Merge Seamlessly

AAHZ: i.

10:20PM

AAHZ: talked

AAHZ: to

AAHZ: duca

AAHZ: you know that imthe ****

10:21PM

Thought_Police: Evil Trout: i freaked a girl out by tell ing her to ‘**** off Evil Trout i’m onto you for 5 minutes ’

Evil Trout: AAHZ: You are the king of teh lulz

AAHZ: yes

10:22PM

AAHZ: i control 4chan

Chapter 6: What is Pimp?

AAHZ: i talked to duca

10:25PM

AAHZ: i spoke to duca

AAHZ: duca

AAHZ: see?

AAHZ: thats pimp

Chapter 7: Anatomy Lessons

AAHZ: duca has mammary glands

10:26PM

Evil Trout: (sorry for delays, was scrolling.)

AAHZ: duca has titties

Shii: He’s a p cool guy

Something_Witty: hey Evil Trout join our diablo 2 games

AAHZ: dica is a femals

Crinkz: and MST

CreepPipe: AAHZ: lol

Raepdog: Evil Trout: Let him back for a day, and ban him for no reason.

Something_Witty: (so we can kill you a lot lol)

AAHZ: the has titties

CreepPipe: Redundancy is funny.

10:26PM

AAHZ: duca has big bobs

Evil Trout: I don’t have diablo 2 I actually bought it for the pc when it was brand new but I usemacs now

AAHZ: ducs has mammary glands

Raepdog: Evil Trout: At this rate you can get a side game based on Falcon four

10:26PM

AAHZ: and i talked to he

Chapter 8: Here It Starts to Get Weird

AAHZ: i want duca

10:28PM

AAHZ: sex

The Unknown Raepdog: The Unknown Comic: Sup Man.

AAHZ: sex with duca

Crinkz: lol

Crinkz: AAHZ

AAHZ: babies duca

Crinkz: nice glbumes

AAHZ: duca babies

Evil Trout: I think AAHZ is in Log in to see images!

Shii: I think so too

AAHZ: Log in to see images!

Something_Witty: laffo

Crinkz: That

Something_Witty: see

CreepPipe: As do I.

Crinkz: IOr drunk out of his mind

Crinkz: And is inlove wit hthe first thing that gives him a woody.

10:29PM

Something_Witty: because i am already in love

The Unknown Raepdog: Evil Trout: Also my Tivo is now 50% Degrasi.

10:29PM

AAHZ: little duca babies

Chapter 9: In Which AAHZ Continues to Put Pressure on Duca

AAHZ: duca has bib mammary glands

10:35PM

Evil Trout: aahz, isn’t she a bit young for you?

CreepPipe: AAHZ: bumuming you love someone under a state of intoxication is typically bad.

AAHZ: shes 23

Crinkz: funny picture of aahz lol

Shii: Drink til she’s hot, boys

AAHZ: i want babies

AAHZ: i want duca baies

10:35PM

AAHZ: lol

Chapter 10: The Invisible Enemy

AAHZ: noone of you failures stop me

10:37PM

AAHZ: no

AAHZ: none of teh 4cahn pwople stop me

Evil Trout: Aldo_Anything: can I enter?

Shii: Cuz they’re dumb.

AAHZ: i want duca babies

Something_Witty: Crinkz: you’re getting nailed next d2 game :3

10:37PM

AAHZ: im warnign yoy

Chapter 11: Evil Trout Counsels AAHZ

Evil Trout: aahz: If she knows you said this about her, she’s not going to make babies for you

10:38PM

Crinkz: ****ING LAG

Crinkz: THE ****

Evil Trout: for some reason girls don’t like desperate guys

Shii: Yeh, seriously, the lag Trout

CreepPipe: AAHZ: I’m sorry but the more you say the phrase “duca babies” the worse it gets.

Something_Witty: Crinkz: oh wait **** you

AAHZ: Evil Trout: im not sesperite

Shii: Go mbumacre some 4channers after they buy BP

CreepPipe: It sounds like a term for a mentally disabled child.

Shii: Free up the lag

AAHZ: i told her my ****

The Unknown Comic: CreepPipe: Evil Trout: shhhh

Crinkz: Something_Witty: I also have a perfect WW barb

AAHZ: iif you all ruin this ill be mad

Crinkz: not hacke

Aldo_Anything: Evil Trout: you can enter me if you want

10:39PM

Evil Trout: yeah there is some lag it seems

10:39PM

AAHZ: ill DDOS 4chan lol

Chapter 12: Friends Forever

AAHZ: Evil Trout

10:44PM

Crinkz: He’s got to many dildos in his bum

AAHZ: knows

AAHZ: im on is side

Shii: lol

Evil Trout: pound it aahz

10:44PM

Evil Trout: *pound*

AAHZ:Log in to see images!

10:52PM

Evil Trout: AAHZ: you’ll be fine, just drink some water. and read every sentence 3 times before you hit enter

10:53PM

AAHZ: if i die i want an day of silence

Chapter 13: Huh?

10:57PM

AAHZ: duca then great times

10:57PM

AAHZ: Log in to see images!

10:57PM

AAHZ: you fabulous person

Chapter 14: Exposition

11:03PM

coL-RamBo: AAHZ: you said u were drunk, watd u drink

AAHZ: im the best chatter in workd

AAHZ: i had 3 vodkan tonics nad 2 coronas

AAHZ: and 1 maor

AAHZ: jmmmmmm

AAHZ: jeesus

11:03PM

coL-RamBo: AAHZ: you a girl?

Chapter 15: Conclusion

11:04PM

AAHZ: I OIN TO DIE

11:05PM

AAHZ: IM GOIN DIE

dobnits: perhaps

11:05PM

Evil Trout: aahz you’re not going to die from 5 drinks

AAHZ: IM SORRY

11:07PM

FAIL: marc is me

CreepPipe: See your day is looking brighter already.

AAHZ: everybody

Evil Trout: AAHZ: you’ll be fine if you just try to calm down and chill out

POON_pwnr69: :S

AAHZ: im sorry

Shii: Evil Trout: Sent

Evil Trout: don’t worry about it

AAHZ: i apoligize

Evil Trout: nice name FAIL

11:08PM

AAHZ: im crying

AAHZ: Log in to see images!

FAIL: Evil Trout: thanks, I have 3 first names

FAIL: middle name is robert

AAHZ: Evil Trout iwont do it again

11:08PM

AAHZ: Log in to see images!