Trudging through the snow, as it came down heavily, I should have been sad. But it was fairly warm for February in Montreal, and I was walking next the most beautiful girl in the world. We met awhile ago, but that was unimportant, every time I see her, it’s like seeing her for the first time. She truly brightens my day, every time I see her, and this walk was destiny.

I was about to pledge my undying love for her, when a man walked towards her, and delicately kissed her. I am going to ****ing murder him. I shall.