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Girl A

Avatar: Emo Girl

[SRSLY]

Level 10 Emo Kid

“Gloomy Gus”

My girlfriend doesn’t understand me. We’ve been going out for six years, and we’ve been ‘engaged’ twice, but….. I just don’t know if this is right or not. I mean, I love her, but…. Sometimes I wonder if I’ll ever really be happy with her.

Is it so wrong to want to be loved? I mean, really loved, the way I love her.

Sometimes I think love and hate are the same thing.

I get so mad at her when we fight, because she’s so stubborn and childish. She’s one of those types that refuses to be wrong, and then ignores you. It ****ed me off so much. Sometimes I just want to hit her or something.

Would it be so hard for her to just shut the **** up, quit being such an bum, and cuddle with me once in awhile?

I have social phobias, and she doesn’t understand those either. She always acts like I’m faking it, and then gets ****ed at me when I end up having a panic attack. I mean, seriously, she doesn’t need me to go with her to WalMart every damn time, does she? It makes me really uncomfortable, but she doesn’t care.

Did I mention that a few years ago she broke up with me to get engaged to an illiterate crossdressing vampire-wannabe psycho that she met for two days at an anime convention and then got pregnant — Only to realize that he was abusive, probably on drugs, and she wanted me back? So now I’m stuck here, watching her kid for her — She says it’s “ours”, but I don’t have a damn male reproductive organ, so really…. How the hell does that work? And she expects me just to get over it and accept him. Sorry, not like it’s the kid’s fault, but I’m not just going to automatically love something that’s connected to the wort memories of my life.

I swear to god, part of me died when she dumped me, and I’ll never really get over it. She’s the only person I’ve ever been with, and when we first got together, I was one of those innocent idiots that believed in “true love” and “fate” and all that other crap… Worked out well, didn’t it?

My friends told me I was stupid for taking her back. Sometimes I think they’re right.

I do love her, I do, but she’s so hard to deal with.

She never thinks things through before making decisions. She’s horrible with money. And she’s romantically very special.

We only have sex when she feels like it, and lately that’s only been when we smoke pot. (we just started doing that a few weeks ago, and really, it has helped the love life a little, but it kinda hurts my self-esteem to think that she needs a catalyst to wanna do things with me anymore.)

God. Sometimes I just wanna disappear. Or maybe sleep forever. That’d be nice.

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