Pity me! I’ve been here since the early days, and since Ep. 2 came out I’ve been entering contests like mad trying to save up enough to buy the expansion.

Then, a light appeared at the end of the tunnel! A chance to outright win a copy of Ep. 2?! And it’s level 35ers only?! I actually had a chance! Overjoyed, I pondered and puttered coming up with the best Goddamned hiakus about former Major League Baseball utility infielder Alvaro Espinoza I could muster. And then I waited for the results.

And waited.

And waited.

****er bailed on us.

Now I’m more desperate than ever! I’ve never had a single brownie point or won a single contest! I just want SOMETHING to show for having been here for so long.