Dear Opheliamammary glandsupp,

Opheliamammary glandsupp, I love you so much. Your words are so entrancing, so captivating, I can hardly contain myself when I read them. Your fluent wordplay has me staring at my screen constantly; I have had to get glbumes because I read your work so long. I’m entranced with you, Ophelia. I’ve wanted you for at least 3 months now. I want to bow down and lick your feet in submission to your excellence.

Let me explain. I’m sure you know of that guy, you know, the guy we both asked to pwn some forums a few years back? Well, I’ve decided to follow in their footsteps. I came across Woe Is Us. I thought it would be a decent pwn, I mean, I haven’t got anything against emos, but some people find them annoying. However, I didn’t expect you.

I haven’t pwned a forum in days, now. My friends at the FBO are wondering what’s taking me so long. Ophelia, you’ve completely enraptured me. I’m leaking as I type this right now. I want you so bad, I believe I may explode from ecstasy if I don’t get you soon enough.

However… I know of… her.

You know, RockStarGrrl69. That whore from the Headbanger’s Hellhole…of Death. I can’t believe you degrade yourself by even speaking with her. She doesn’t deserve you, Ophelia. She’s not nearly emotional enough to understand your deep poetry. She listens to metal, for God’s sake! Please, for the good of your reputation, you must dump her! I’m so much of a better person! Dammit, I’ve pwned the KKK! And I’ll pwn you too if you dont giv me a dam pony u hore

… I’m sorry… I must have had a relapse there… heh heh… oh, the good old days, when I had nothing to worry about… nothing but my ponies…

…

I’m better.

Anyway, Ophelia, I hope you’ll see why I’m so much of a better girl than that whore, RockStarGrrl69. Thank you in advance for dumping her.

Sincerely,

LittleBilly2316

P.S. Oh my god, you just released something new. I’m going to go pet my kitty now.

Log in to see images! BaconSupreme edited this message on 11/23/2008 10:24PM