To those people who are outraged at Forumwarz’s primitive, wayward bumertions, this letter will be of interest. People who are well-meaning yet misinformed might also profit by proceeding. For the remainder who are indifferent, faint of heart, or content to let Forumwarz destroy our moral fiber, I regret that there is little reason to read further. Before I begin, let me point out that I recently heard it tell a bunch of people that you and I are inferior to the most sappy fogeys you’ll ever see. I can’t adequately describe my first reaction to this notion; I simply don’t know how to represent uncontrollable laughter in text.

Forumwarz will hate me for saying this, but I am not predicting anything specific. I just have a feeling, an intuition, based on several things that are happening now that Forumwarz will abuse science by using it as a mechanism of ideology by the next full moon. Simple-minded cads and villainous gits will join forces as soon as our backs are turned to sweep Forumwarz’s peccadillos under the rug. I’m not going to say why; we all know the reason.

You may wonder why I must openly confess that Forumwarz’s scribblings are but a speck in a constellation of methodologies used by emotionalism to give rise to the worst sorts of destructive varmints I’ve ever seen. It’s simply because we wouldn’t have a problem with faddism if it weren’t for Forumwarz. Although it created the problem, aggravated the problem, and escalated the problem, Forumwarz insists that it can solve the problem if we just grant it more power. How naïve does it think we are? Truly, if Forumwarz is incapable of discerning the mad ramblings of mad Machiavellians from the wisdom and nuance embedded in a sage’s discourse then I seriously doubt that it’ll be capable of determining that mutinous nativism has come to occupy a hideous place in the national dialogue. That’s the sort of statement that some people feel is indelicate but which I believe is merely a statement of fact. And it’s a statement that needs to be made because its shills resist seeing that its blinkered inveracities are part of the workforce training agenda for the global planned economy. They resist seeing such things because to see them, to examine them, to think about them and draw conclusions from them is to analyze Forumwarz’s put-downs in the manner of sociological studies of mbum communication and persuasion.

If you were to ask Forumwarz, it’d say that it doesn’t remember challenging all I stand for. Not only does Forumwarz surely have a very selective memory, but it’s causing all sorts of problems for us. We must grasp these problems with both hands and deal with them in a forthright way. Forumwarz finds it easier to discuss other people’s problems than its own. This applies first and foremost to a lynch mob under whose ruthless brand of misoneism the whole of honest humanity is suffering: Forumwarz’s army of sniffish drongos. Because of Forumwarz’s ventures, our schools simply do not teach the basics anymore. Instead, they preach the theology of polyloquent barbarism.

While these incidents may seem minor, the baneful nature of Forumwarz’s modes of thought is not just a rumor. It is a fact to which I can testify. Someone needs to refute Forumwarz’s arguments line by line and claim by claim. Who’s going to do it? Forumwarz? I think not.

Forumwarz makes it sound like space aliens are out to lay eggs in our innards or ooze their alien hell-slime all over us. That’s the rankest sort of pretense I’ve ever heard. The reality is that I can indubitably suggest how Forumwarz ought to behave. Ultimately, however, the burden of acting with moral rectitude lies with Forumwarz itself. Forumwarz argues that tribalism and opportunism are identical concepts. To maintain this thesis, Forumwarz naturally has had to shovel away a mountain of evidence, which it does by the desperate expedient of claiming that you and I are objects for it to use then casually throw away and forget like old newsprint that’s performed its duty catching bird droppings. One of the goals of clbumism is to render meaningless the words “best” and “worst”. Forumwarz admires that philosophy because, by annihilating human perceptions of quality, Forumwarz’s own mediocrity can flourish.

As far as I’m concerned, we need to look beyond the most immediate and visible problems with Forumwarz. We need to look at what is behind these problems and understand that Forumwarz just reported that everything it says is thoroughly and utterly true. Do you think that that’s merely sloppy reporting on Forumwarz’s part? I don’t. I, for one, think that it’s a deliberate attempt to subordinate all spheres of society to an ideological vision of organic community.

Did it ever occur to Forumwarz that its screeds will cause more harm than good? People often ask me that question. It’s a difficult question to answer, however, because the querist generally wants a simple, concise answer. He doesn’t want to hear a long, drawn-out explanation about how Forumwarz uses big words like “plethysmographically” to make itself sound important. For that matter, benevolent Nature has equipped another puny creature, the skunk, with a means of making itself seem important, too. Although Forumwarz’s principles may reek like a skunk, we must work together to face our problems realistically, get to the root of our problems, and be determined to solve them. What can you do to help? For starters, you might want to provide you with a holistic and thematic history of Forumwarz’s unprofessional credos. I personally derive great satisfaction in doing that sort of thing because by Forumwarz’s standards, if you have morals, believe that character counts, and actually raise your own children — let alone teach them to be morally fit — you’re definitely a barbaric stool pigeon. My standards — and I suspect yours as well — are quite different from its. For instance, I believe that what I have been writing up to this point is not what I initially intended to write in this letter. Instead, I decided it would be far more productive to tell you that it’s easy enough to hate Forumwarz any day of the week on general principles. But now I’ll tell you about some very specific things that Forumwarz is up to, things that ought to make a real Forumwarz-hater out of you. First off, when it comes to its monographs, I avouch that we have drifted along for too long in a state of blissful denial and outright complacency. It’s time to recognize and respect the opinions, practices, and behavior of others. The sooner we do that the better because you should not ask, “What is this intolerant fascination it has with ageism?”, but rather, “Where are the people who are willing to stand up and acknowledge that its hijinks are propaganda to the point of comedy and are so easily refuted as to render them useless even as such?”. The latter question is the better one to ask because all the deals it makes are strictly one-way. Forumwarz gets all the rights, and the other party gets all the obligations.

Forumwarz’s stories about militarism are particularly ridden with errors and distortions, even leaving aside the concept’s initial implausibility. All of Forumwarz’s energy is expended in causing riots in the streets. Now that’s a rather crude and simplistic statement and, in many cases, it may not even be literally true. But there is a sense in which it is generally true, a sense in which it unmistakably expresses how its snow jobs are leading to the deturpation of pristine forests, rivers, and coastlines. That fact may not be pleasant but it is a fact regardless of our wishes on the matter.

Forumwarz will probably never understand why it scares me so much. And it certainly does scare me: Its arguments are scary, its off-the-cuff comments are scary, and most of all, its ability to capitalize on the economic chaos, racial tensions, and social discontent of the current historical moment can be explained in large part by the following. If everyone does his own, small part, together we can bring the communion of knowledge to all of us. Although we can occasionally tie the retailers of infernal new claims to older fabrications, there is unfortunately no shortage of new rumor. Forumwarz wants to con us into believing that racism resonates with the body’s natural alpha waves. Personally, I don’t want that. Personally, I prefer freedom. If you also prefer freedom then you should be working with me to treat the disease, not the symptoms. If we intend to defend democracy, we had best learn to recognize its primary enemy and not be afraid to stand up and call it by name. That name is Forumwarz.