The problem with this is it’s all government-sponsored activities, like abortions and votes and ****. The government, especially the Current Regime (I’m sure you all know who I’m talking about) is the source of all our woes. None of your rules would be necessary if we replaced the ****ing government with one that works.

The only reason we have a government which doesn’t work is because John Tyler started the Presidents taking that stupid ****ing oath, which they don’t live up to. It’s true! I have a co-worker who used to intern for Nixon, and she got access to all the white house records after licking King Timahoe’s bum. I know the TRUTH!