ProfeSsoRCHIld Posted:

i’m not ****ing anyone. that’s the problem.

i mean that in more than one way. i’m a nobody, and i don’t have a girl. i’m not gay or even bi though. i don’t mind those that are. just i’m not. except that while i can define myself as what i’m not, i can’t find who i -am-. i can’t even say i’m asexual, because i want sex. i’m not sure if i’m straight. i just know i’m not not straight. i just don’t have any.

sarah…

why must you torment me so?

if i got hit by the schoolbus, maybe she’d notice me.

no, she won’t.

you know why? because you are nothing. you are not even worth the time it takes for her to look at you, let alone pay any attention to you. your existence is a pathetic shambling excuse for life. you cannot even bring yourself to find your father’s shotgun and end yourself because you wouldn’t know what to do if you actually managed to **** even that up. and you know you would. at the last instance, you would chicken out, even as you **** yourself in the garage. when push comes down to shove, you know you don’t have anything.

i know you, child. i have looked into your heart of hearts and, there, found you wanting. i have weighed you against anubis’ feather, but even the darkness forsakes you. you are worth less than the blood and semen it took to make you. and you know it. that is why you hate yourself. but even that hate- purest of all emotions, white hot and blazing with the heat of a thousand suns- in your hands it is nothing more than a pale blue flicker.

pfeh. you make me sick.