mary misanthrope Posted:

When I was 20 years old, I was raped.

I was at a bar with friends, and I noticed an attractive guy smiling at me. Just some random metal kid. My friends left, but I decided to go talk to him, since I was already fairly drunk. He seemed really cool, and eventually we ended up hanging out with his friends at another bar.

We drank a lot, and they dropped the boy and I at my apartment. We made out for a while, eventually I was topless, but I still had my skirt and underwear on.

He started to unbuckle his belt and unzip his pants. I tell him to stop. He pins one of my legs down with his leg and starts clawing at my panties, pulling them aside. I ask him to stop.

I try fighting back, but he is bigger than I am. I can feel him pushing himself inside me, as I struggle and push back to no avail. I keep repeating “No” as he violates me. I can’t fight him off because he is bigger and stronger than I am.

What seemed like forever was only a few minutes. He strikes a deal; I am to fellate him and he will get off of me. I accept, scared and wanting the situation to be over.

I take him in my mouth, crying, and it is over in a minute. I roll over and pretend to sleep, but sleep will never come because I am afraid he will touch me again.

I reason that I did what I had to do; I saved myself from being raped.

The next morning, we don’t talk. I walk him to the train station. I meet my girlfriends out for lunch.

It wasn’t until years later that I realize the joke was on me; not only did I not prevent myself from being raped, but I helped him violate me. It was devastating.

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This is a very difficult post for me to make. I haven’t told anybody but my mother about what happened, and she said it was my own fault because I brought him home with me. Log in to see images!

LOLOL. wut r u worryed ‘bout? u did teh rite thing!!!! when he unziped his pnts, u let him put it in u n suked it! u did rite! u shuld kno cuz he came lol. good job!!!!!!!