Janie Posted:

As a matter of fact, a lot of people have told me I’m an annoying girl. My Aunt Esther says I’m either refusing to talk or never shutting up. But I’m not a little girl.

So you could still have, like, demonic fleas. If there are demonic monkey things, there must be demonic fleas. So can you find the thing or not?

Oh, also, if you want as part of your payment, if there’s stuff you need I can go shopping for you so that you don’t have to wind up on the cover of the Weekly World News again. Just saying.

STOP MENTIONING FLEAS….I mean can we change the subject to the topic at hand which is finding your stupid book please?

It would be nice to not have to worry about those snoopy Weekly World News reporters though…

Alright you have a deal. Now FOCUS ON THE DAMNED IMAGE OF YOUR BOOK GIRL!

Janie Posted:

OK, my book, my book. The last entry was a drawing of Biff with spiders and hearts and skulls. I was such an idiot, all in love with him and stuff. And there’s a heart drawn in blood with his name in it on the inside back cover.

Does that help?

DON’T ASK ME! Just focus on the image in your mind…good grief girl, dealing with you is like trying to talk to a banshee!

Just focus on the image of the book in your mind, and I will help direct your energies to produce the location in the ball, got it?

That’s better. Yes, an image is beginning to form now. I believe hat it is the image of your journal.

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Is that your book annoying girl?

If so then I will do something which may…feel funny, but just keep concentrating on that image, understand?

Janie Posted:

That’s it! How did you put that picture in the crystal ball? And what do you mean, “feel funny”? I’m not going to end up with a flying monkey baby, am I? I can’t imagine why you haven’t gotten many clients…

Don’t worry about it, if I had wanted to do something malicious I would have done it the moment you walked in.

No you will not have a flying monkey baby…unless you’re into that sort of thing?

No? Oh well.

Just keep focusing on the image, I am going to…manipulate your spiritual energy, that is all.

Your spirit knows where that book is, your conscious mind may not, but a part of you does, and I will direct that part of you to produce the image of where the book is, inside the cystal ball.

It won’t hurt….well it shouldn’t hurt anyway. It will just feel…strange to you.

Janie Posted:

I’m not so sure about this. I’m used to feeling strange and all, especially when I raid my mother’s medicine cabinet.

Ah, what the hell, how is this different than channeling Zakov’s old bat grandma or luring the demon out of your father? Am I tied to the journal because it has my blood in it? You PROMISE you won’t read it?

OK, I’m ready…

The fact that your blood is in the book, is probably the only reason we have gotten this far with your utter lack of focus!

And for the last time I DON’T CARE WHAT YOU WROTE IN THAT STUPID BOOK!

Now just please try to stay focused, and I will manipulate your spiritual energies.

Have you ever gone fishing? You will feel a sensation similar to the excitement you feel when you get a fish on your line, and don’t ask me how I know what it feels like to go fishing! I KNOW YOU WERE GOING TO ASK BUT DON’T!

I just wanted to try it alright? I just happen to sort of enjoy fishing, IS THAT A PROBLEM?

Now FOCUS DAMN YOU!

I am beginning to see an image but it isn’t quite clear yet.

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I am going to place my hands over yours while you continue to focus and hold the ball, don’t worry I am not coming on to you, I just need to contact your skin to get this image to come through, because you apparently just do not understand what FOCUS means. It means stop thinking about hwy I went fishing and think of your book!

Janie Posted:

Do you intend to touch all your clients? I mean, it’s not that I think you’re coming on to me, but your hands are kind of…hairy and clammy and your skin burns a little with the fires of hell that sing in your blood and stuff.

Ok, ok, focus. I mean, what do you do with the fish after? Do you eat them? Do monkeys eat fish? Do demons eat fish, for that matter? Imaging being a fish, and seeing you at the other end of the pole! They’d die of a heart attack!

OK, stop looking at me like that. Book, book, book, book, boook, book, boook…

There we are! Yes, yes the picture is coming through now!

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I see a forest trail, or a trail of some sort through the woods. Apparently one you took recently for whatever reason, WHICH I DO NOT WANT TO KNOW!

Yes, your journal apparently fell on some trail through some type of woods or forest.

And for your information I will not be touching all my clients. To be honest…I have no clients…the last time I touched one they ran out screaming.

Well, geez. A human detective would understand! But you being psychic and all, I figured you’d know if someone touched it. I’ll know, though. I’ve left some little…traps in the book against my brother’s very special eyes.

If you don’t want to go, you don’t have to. I’ll just go poke around. Everybody always abandons me, why should you be any different?

Hey, I just had an idea for something else I could hire you for, though.