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Steve Jobs

Avatar: Steve Jobs's Avatar
10

Level 32 Camwhore

Co-founder, Chairman and CEO of Apple Inc.

Thank you, thank you. Welcome to this special thread. But before we jump into what we need to talk about today I’d like to take a look back at the first several months of this year. iPhone still gaining market share in the US smart phone sales. MacBook Air still the worlds lightest notebook. The iPod lineup, still the best selling digital music player in the world. And finally The iTunes Music Store…highest selling online music store and the fourth largest music retailer only behind Best Buy, Wal-Mart and Target.

Now typically when we hold our special events we gather to introduce several new products and announce updates to our existing products. Not the case today. Today we’re only announcing 1 addition to our already outstanding product line. The reasoning behind this is we knew no matter what it would steal the show regardless. So with out further delay I’d like to announce our newest product.

The iThread. The iThread is basically text on the internet. But unlike other text on the internet we here at Apple have 73 patents to make The iThread the most amazing thread on the internet ever. The iThread is different because it comes with our logo on it and in really neat packaging. Also unlike other threads, The iThread is a guaranteed success. Not because of the content or quality of it, but because it has Apple’s name backing it and addition to that, I’m Steve Jobs.

And that’s The iThread. I would like to thank you all for coming today and now it’s my privilege to introduce our musical guest for today. Ladies and gentlemen, the wonderful and talented Randy Newman.

CAPTAIN SODA

Avatar: CAPTAIN SODA's Avatar

[THE BURGER KING BI-
RTHDAY POWAR CLUB
]

Level 12 Re-Re

LEGALLY PATENTED THE ROUNDHOUSE KICK

GIVE ME FREE INTERNETS

AND COMPUTERPHONES

Veer

Avatar: 2059 Thu Nov 13 08:18:14 -0500 2008
6

[Team Shortbus]

Level 32 Troll

my only complaint is that you people are happy

posting from an iMac running XP

CAPTAIN SODA

Avatar: CAPTAIN SODA's Avatar

[THE BURGER KING BI-
RTHDAY POWAR CLUB
]

Level 12 Re-Re

LEGALLY PATENTED THE ROUNDHOUSE KICK

AREY YOU THAT GUY?>

Nicco

MODERATOR
Avatar: 24745 2011-07-31 00:34:23 -0400
51

[Harem and Sushi Bar]

Level 69 Troll

Nicco Nicco Nicco Nicco Nicco Nicco Nicco Nicco Nicco Nicco Nicco Nicco Nicco Nicco Nicco Nicco

POASTING IN AN ITHREAD

Biff Weasley

Avatar: 2174 Wed Nov 05 00:04:24 -0500 2008
2

Level 19 Troll

bumhead

Veer wants to bottom for you! Log in to see images!

CAPTAIN SODA

Avatar: CAPTAIN SODA's Avatar

[THE BURGER KING BI-
RTHDAY POWAR CLUB
]

Level 12 Re-Re

LEGALLY PATENTED THE ROUNDHOUSE KICK

Venom Biff Tannen Posted:

Veer wants to bottom for you! Log in to see images!

GET THE FUK OUT, FAKE BIFF TANENN

YOUR COMPUTERS IS COVERED IN STICKY BLACK GOOP ANYQAYS

CAPTAIN SODA edited this message on 06/08/2008 2:46PM

Echuu

Avatar: 6433 Tue Jul 21 22:01:07 -0400 2009
10

[Backdoor Amigos]

Level 20 Troll

You made Vader snobby.

EPIC iTHREAD. YES WIN.

Janie

Avatar: Janie's Avatar

[SRSLY]

Level 25 Emo Kid

I... HAERT TEH FIREFOX TOO!

That’s real Biff Tannen. I can tell for sure because he has a birthmark on his wang shaped exactly like a set of teeth.

Janie

Avatar: Janie's Avatar

[SRSLY]

Level 25 Emo Kid

I... HAERT TEH FIREFOX TOO!

Log in to see images!

CAPTAIN SODA

Avatar: CAPTAIN SODA's Avatar

[THE BURGER KING BI-
RTHDAY POWAR CLUB
]

Level 12 Re-Re

LEGALLY PATENTED THE ROUNDHOUSE KICK

Janie Posted:

That’s real Biff Tannen. I can tell for sure because he has a birthmark on his wang shaped exactly like a set of teeth.

LOOK AT HIS USERNAME

REAL BIFF TANNEN

elenaratelim-
it

Avatar: 24791 2010-03-21 18:12:06 -0400
17

[Team Shortbus]

Level 44 Troll

chica bonita

IF THIS THREAD WAS A COMMERCIAL, WHAT SONG WOULD BE IN IT?

I HAVE TO DECIDE HOW MUCH I HATE YOU

Steve Jobs

Avatar: Steve Jobs's Avatar
10

Level 32 Camwhore

Co-founder, Chairman and CEO of Apple Inc.

elenaratelimit Posted:

IF THIS THREAD WAS A COMMERCIAL, WHAT SONG WOULD BE IN IT?

I HAVE TO DECIDE HOW MUCH I HATE YOU

As you know here at Apple we love music. And we love showcasing the music of deserving artists in our ads at the same time creating an image that best suits the product being advertised. After extensive research by our marketing division it has been made apparent that the song best suited to represent The iThread in the ad would have to be The Cars – Just What I Needed.

CAPTAIN SODA

Avatar: CAPTAIN SODA's Avatar

[THE BURGER KING BI-
RTHDAY POWAR CLUB
]

Level 12 Re-Re

LEGALLY PATENTED THE ROUNDHOUSE KICK

Steve Jobs Posted:

As you know here at Apple we love music. And we love showcasing the music of deserving artists in our ads at the same time creating an image that best suits the product being advertised. After extensive research by our marketing division it has been made apparent that the song best suited to represent The iThread in the ad would have to be The Cars – Just What I Needed.

NO ITS NOT ITS THIS

CAPTAIN SODA edited this message on 06/08/2008 3:36PM

Evil Trout

MODERATOR
Avatar: 35 2013-08-13 11:47:18 -0400

[Crotch Zombie]

Level 21 Hacker

I have ample evidence that ET is a weedy little twerp.

Thread of the year.

Heat Seeking-
Moisture Mi-
ssile

Avatar: Heat Seeking Moisture Missile's Avatar
2

Level 10 Troll

AKA Throbbing Thrill Hammer, Rod of God, and male reproductive organ

Evil Trout Posted:

Thread of the year.

Or at least the next three months until it’s outdated.

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