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Fun Yummy spam!

enire

Avatar: enire's Avatar
9

[70 Character Story-
tellers
]

Level 10 Troll

“Pain in the ASCII”

Every now and then, I get a spam in my mailbox that makes you glad for all the places I logged into with my real email address. I always enjoy winning the super-secret European lottery, but this time was special. The email — written in about 7 different colours and 6 different font sizes, some underlined, some bold, and all in italice — contained this particularly juicy sentence:

YOU ARE NOW BEING ADVISED TO CALL THE TELEPHONE NUMBER BELOW TO TRACK YOUR PAYMENT ON LINE WORLD BANK TELEPHONE BANKING SYSTEM THE WORLD BANK BANKERS BANK FUND CONFIRMATION UNIT IN SWITZERLAND THE WORLD BANK FUND CONFIRMATION UNIT

Yes, that’s right. My millions are being held in a secret account in the “World Bank Banker’s Bank.” Yummy!

What are some of your favourite yummy spam lines?

BLOODPINKO

Avatar: BLOODPINKO's Avatar
8

Level 10 Emo Kid

“Gloomy Gus”

from: oubug@collusion.org

Family calls for help

Kazakov Pavel Vasilievich (born in 1956), his children Kazakova Elena (born in 1983) and Andrei (born in 2002) are appealing to you. The children are very ill: Elena has mental retardation in the stage of moronity of the second degree, Andrei has the diagnosis of cerebral spastic infantile paralysis. Yes, the children are ill, but their cases are not hopeless, that’s why I am asking for help.

Now the children are left without mother’s care and love, they need financial and moral help and qualified medical bumistance. My wife Tatiana pbumed away on the 18th of February, 2007, after repeated apoplexy, she was 44 years old. Tatiana gave all her health and energy to bring up the children and adopt them to the life in society. My health also leaves much to be desired: I have a benign tumour in the frontal sinus, now it is 2,3*1,2*1,8 cm, my health had much deteriorated after Tatiana’s death.

For 20 years we tried to cure our daughter and adopt her to the normal life. Unfortunately, her diagnosis didn’t change. And we thought that when she comes of age, she will be considered incapable. That’s why my wife and I decided to have a second child who would be able to take care of Elena in the future. Tatiana’s infertility (from which she had been suffering 10 years already) was cured. And 40-years-old Tatiana managed to give a birth to our son.

Even here the destiny played another mean trick on us. Our son Andrei was born with the diagnosis of cerebral spastic infantile paralysis. The official medicine refused to help us, announced that the case was “unpromising”. We didn’t believe it. My wife gathered all her courage and started to teach Andrei at home in all the ways possible in this situation. At the age of 2 Andrei could sit and started to learn letters. At 3 he could make up words, at 4 he knew the numbers up to 1000 and could read, he started to crawl. We believed that we will be fine.

And then came another strike of misfortune: on the 25th of November, 2006, Tatiana had an apoplexy, after which she was paralyzed and bedridden. 1,5 months at hospital and 1,5 months at home we tried to cure and somehow rise Tatiana. I struggled to cope with my work, children and wife, I didn’t have anybody to take care of them. But on the 18th of February the tragedy happened: after the second apoplexy Tatiana pbumed away.

It happened so, that I don’t have any relatives in the Ural region, my wife’s relatives don’t bumist in the fate of our children. Now Andrei is 5 years old. There is a possibility to make him a valid citizen, but to do it we need to provide him a treatment and pay for it about 1 million roubles (about $40000). Having my salary I have no chance to pile up such money. I cannot find another job, a higher-paid one, because of my age and because I have to spend some time teaching and curing my children. You know, a child needs parents or at least a father and the help of surrounding people who can understand father’s pain for his children and their future.

People of the world, please, help!

EURO

Deutshe Bank AG

Taunusanlage 12, 60325, Frankfurt am Main, Germany

S.W.I.F.T.: DEUTDEFF; ACC 10094718300000

TRANSCREDITBANK, MOSCOW, RUSSIA S.W.I.F.T.: TRCDRUMM

In favour Chelyabinsk branch, S.W.I.F.T.: TRCDRUM1504

In favour KAZAKOV Pavel For account 40817978506000692545

USD

The Bank of New York

S.W.I.F.T.: IRVT US 3N; ACC. 890-0548-568

TRANSCREDITBANK, MOSCOW, RUSSIA S.W.I.F.T.: TRCDRUMM

In favour Chelyabinsk branch, S.W.I.F.T.: TRCDRUM1504

In favour KAZAKOV Pavel For account 40817840906000692545

BLOODPINKO

Avatar: BLOODPINKO's Avatar
8

Level 10 Emo Kid

“Gloomy Gus”

subject: ha-ha-ha man, why your thing is so small? Log in to see images!

YO dude

I don’t care why your prick is so small, but 77% of women do.

They are pretty sure that bigger schlong will make their desire

stronger. You have the chance to change your life.

Here http://www.somethingtrendyunlimited.com you can get the thing.

It will help you for sure.

The remedy can be sent worldwide.

If you wont be satisfied – we will return all you money.

No bull****.

hkmnmrmpmjlhmlmlimmnmmmimflslqjkkilhjfjrjfjpjqjmfmkojt

dfkjghwenflgkdwdfwkjgghs

complain about the ruffians who had handled him with such violence in broad

daylight. He most certainly did not. How could he walk into a police station

and say that a cat had been reading his pbumport and that a man in a sweater

armed with a knife . . .? No, Maximilian Andreyevich was altogether too

intelligent for that.

He had by now reached the ground floor and noticed just beside the main

door another little door, with a broken glbum pane, leading into a storage

cupboard. Poplavsky put his pbumport into his pocket and hunted round for

the scattered contents of his suitcase. There was no trace of them. He was

amazed to notice how little this worried him. Another and rather intriguing

Balloon

Avatar: Balloon's Avatar
28

[Grey Goose Mafiosi]

Level 35 Camwhore

Inflate my ovaries until they pop out of me and float away

I stopped reading the entire email. I just want to see how brazen and impatient they are. I look to see how much money they “offer” and if they ask for my account number right off the bat.

Rick Ashley

Avatar: Rocker Chick
3

[Harem and Sushi Bar]

Level 30 Camwhore

“Courte-chan”

As my cousin said in one of his songs “Gotta make you understand” spam is annoying and should not be read.

Finny

Avatar: 57559 2011-07-31 00:11:12 -0400
7

[Harem and Sushi Bar]

Level 69 Troll

BUMPS EVERYWHERE

I just hit my head on my keyboard repeatedly.

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