Face Value, 1981

This was Phil Collins’ first album, and he was just learning how to sing and fill his mouth with male reproductive organ at the same time. That didn’t stop his music from sending a powerful message of “fill my mouth with your male reproductive organ, so I can rock it with saliva.”

Hello I Must Be Going, 1982

Yeah, “Hello I Must Be Going” to find a male reproductive organ for my mouth! Nobody knows any of the songs on this piece of ****, but he received a technical achievement grammy in the area of Outstanding Enunciation with Mouthful of male reproductive organ. A star was born that night, and incredibly in Phil Collins’ mouth, a tiny male reproductive organ was also born. It was named “Oral Penile Spontaneous Miraculosis,” after the unique mouthmale reproductive organ syndrome that created it.

No Jacket Required, 1985

This album had the popular and very special song, “Sussudio,” which is what a normal word sounds like when you try to say it through a mouthful of male reproductive organ. Here’s Phil Collins ordering food:

Phil: “Hello, waiter. I… don’t see it on the menu, but do you serve male reproductive organ?”

Admiral Falafal: “No, my friend. This falafal stand. We serve falafal.”

Phil: “My my my, what a tragedy for my mouth. I have at least room for 7 or 8 more male reproductive organs in here.”

Admiral Falafal: “You go now!”

...But Seriously, 1989

Yeah, “But Seriously” put some male reproductive organ in my mouth! This album had the heart wrenching song, “I Wish It Would Rain Down,” which was retooled by the studio from its original title, “I Wish Someone Would Invent male reproductive organ Flavored Bubble Gum,” which was retooled by Phil himself from its original original title, “Yoo hoo! Put Some male reproductive organ in This Mouth! (Sunshine Push)”

Serious Hits…LIVE!, 1990

By this point in his career, Phil Collins had so many male reproductive organs in his mouth, his mouth was hired by Japan to do porno cartoons. His first feature, male reproductive organ Squid Danger Gigantor was a great success, and the mayor of Japan himself added his male reproductive organ to what Japan was now calling, “Best Mouth Ever, for male reproductive organ.” Congratulations to Phil Collins, and to your male reproductive organ, which going-by-statistics, is probably in his award-winning mouth.

Both Sides, 1993

Like the title of this poignant album, brave Phil used both sides of his mouth to suck many more male reproductive organs than previously thought possible. Here’s him later at a movie:

Phil: “One ticket for the movie please.”

Ticket Clerk “Mike”: “Seven fifty.”

Phil: “Oh my, it appears I’m quite short. Do you accept looking at many male reproductive organed mouth as payment?”

Ticket Clerk “Mike”: “That’s not our policy.”

Phil: “Please excuse me. It appears several of the male reproductive organs in my mouth have escaped!”

Dance Into The Light, 1996

Drunk on his own superstardom, Phil Collins’ mouth traveled this album’s tour with an outrageous entourage of 400 male reproductive organs. Some critics called it overkill, but for a lucky capacity crowd in Minnesota, they called it, “Good practice for when all 30,286 needed to put our male reproductive organs in there!” This event completely restructured Minnesota fire codes as we know them.

Tarzan Soundtrack, 1999

Phil did a song with 5-member boy band N’Sync on this album, but was disappointed to find that only two of them had male reproductive organs, neither of which were very useful or likeable. When asked if it was a great opportunity, N’Sync band member Jordan Knight said, “Opportunity? More like my male reproductive organ in his mouth! Bye!” When Phil Collins was asked about the experience, he said, “Mrphrmmmphm!” in genital-muffled nonsense.

(stolen from seanbaby.com)

You’re coewl

phil collins has more talent than all of the beatles put together

no joking