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Contest Latest (and greatest) official contest: Show us your junk!

Wyrd

Avatar: 2782 2011-10-31 19:56:49 -0400
24

[Brainfreeze]

Level 35 Camwhore

I tried to get over myself, but I'm just too awesome!

More entries:

Roll of Toilet Paper

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Whether it’s used for wiping your bum, clogging up a drain or TPing someone’s house, toilet paper is just plain awesome. When you’re done using the paper you can pretend you have a cardboard spyglbum! This particular roll consists of the nice soft kind of toilet paper, not the scrape the skin of your bum, gray, recycled stuff.

Suntan Lotion

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It puts the lotion on its skin or else it gets the sunburn!

Buddha

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Buddha proves that you don’t have to be skinny and tortured in order to be worshipped. You can be fat and happy, and still have plenty of followers. This bronze Buddha statue is sure to bring some serenity to any home and it’s the perfect way of showing just how open minded and enlightened you are.

All the photos taken by me, resized by spacekadt cause I stupid, and hereby public domain.

Wyrd edited this message on 05/14/2008 6:48AM

TUBSWEETIE

Avatar: 3450 2011-07-31 00:45:06 -0400
28

[And The Banned Pla-
yed On
]

Level 37 Troll

MY MEMORY IS THAT OF A SMALL GRAPE

Wyrd Posted:

More entries:

Suntan Lotion

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It puts the lotion on its skin or else it gets the sunburn!

Hahaha Buffalo Bill

wilD-****22

Avatar: wilD-sLuT22's Avatar
4

Level 10 Camwhore

i'm such a tedious, utterly useless **** that i deserve nothing more than a stock **** avatar

Used import car

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The Harigata GTi. Keep it to street race, or get a good resale value, since its not domestic.

‘Hajimema****e! Kanpai! Ai ****eru, You pwned well grbumhopper! take car, you rike!’

ppwn shoppe price: 5634 

Explosives

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A collection of WW2 era russian missiles, grenades, and bumorted explosive compounds, of unknown stability. Some might even still work.

‘ahahahah, praise allah, we see what you did there! take these and punish the infidels.’ -O.B.L.

ppwn shoppe price: 911 

Fossil

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Fossils. Theyre old. Really old. Its not a tyrannosaurus skeleton

obviously, so dont expect a million flezz when you sell it.

Or, you could keep it. If youre some sort of archaeologist douchebag.

ppwn shoppe price: 41 

Grecian bust

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Clbumical art is always valuable, even forgeries like this one.

Put it on a pedestal in the front hallway and force guests to comment on it.

Makes a great paperweight or nutcracker.

ppwn shoppe price: 2938 

thanks to little fran for resizing these for me

source: http://www.public-domain-photos.com

wilD-sLuT22 edited this message on 05/21/2008 7:16PM

crayoncakes

Avatar: crayoncakes's Avatar
16

[Team Shortbus]

Level 31 Troll

To Earthend and beyond!

Sorry for the poor image quality, but I figured it was worth a shot. I took all these pictures and am releasing them to the public domain.

TOY UNICORN

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Legend says the unicorn was a mythical beast who loved hanging around virgins, making this adorable plush toy the perfect gift for 90% of the internet.

TACKY PORCELAIN MASK

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This is a knick knack meant to be hung on the wall. Someone’s grandma is going to be ****ed when she sees it’s missing.

SLIGHTLY USED DELUXE MAKEUP KIT

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This kit is pretty complete. It has everything you need in order to smear yourself with pigments as you stare mournfully into the mirror, thinking about how daddy never thought you were pretty enough.

MIDDLE SCHOOL ART PROJECT

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This misshapen abomination from the bowels of art clbum is proof that not all children are special.

(I actually made that in middle school >.> )

PET CACTUS

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This little plant will brighten up anyone’s day! Because who doesn’t love spiky painful things?

crayoncakes edited this message on 05/25/2008 10:21PM

Pickled male reproductive organ-
bum

Avatar: Pickled Dickbutt's Avatar
47

[Board of Directors]

Level 10 Camwhore

AHAHA HEADSETS

the middle school art project is amazing

Wyrd

Avatar: 2782 2011-10-31 19:56:49 -0400
24

[Brainfreeze]

Level 35 Camwhore

I tried to get over myself, but I'm just too awesome!

Code Monkey

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Your very own personal programming slave. Input orders and junk food, and out comes the code. Warning: code monkeys may become resentful and output malicious code if not treated with due care. Do not expose to women, regular office hours or stupid end users.

Picture taken by Echuu. I got permission to enter it.

Kerridwen_Ka-
li

Avatar: Kerridwen_Kali's Avatar
2

Level 29 Emo Kid

I HEART CANADIANS!

Wyrd Posted:

Buddha

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Buddha proves that you don’t have to be skinny and tortured in order to be worshipped. You can be fat and happy, and still have plenty of followers. This bronze Buddha statue is sure to bring some serenity to any home and it’s the perfect way of showing just how open minded and enlightened you are.

I love this caption. Log in to see images!

FAIL

Avatar: 36735 2011-07-31 00:53:35 -0400
6

[Full of SbumSS]

Level 25 Re-Re

Head of the Ministry of Well-Timed Jokes

noSEXjustKITTEN Posted:

if retards could have children, id totes have urs.

ty Log in to see images!

Aldo_Anything

MODERATOR
Avatar: 32555 2014-07-18 11:39:53 -0400
98

[Brainfreeze]

Level 69 Troll

male reproductive organMEISTER

FLAG OF SWEDEN

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Have your bum on the Swedish whenever you want from now on. Also an much more elegant way to express that you definitely don’t like fat chicks than the shirt with exactly that slogan on it.

Proof

ONE OF FLOYD MAYWEATHER’S CREDIT CARDS

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Hey, that guy just earned $20.000.000 for 15 minutes of wrestling, it won’t hurt him. You’ll have some weeks before Money even registers that one card is missing. Make yourself bling-bling.

Proof

Aldo_Anything edited this message on 05/14/2008 6:42PM

FAIL

Avatar: 36735 2011-07-31 00:53:35 -0400
6

[Full of SbumSS]

Level 25 Re-Re

Head of the Ministry of Well-Timed Jokes

EXPIRED COUPON TO MEDIEVAL TIMES

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Would ye liketh to see prancing steeds and knights flailing? Do ye lack the required payment to enter thine tournament of champions? Taketh this magical 10% off couponne, but be sure to use it prior to 12/31/07 lest the King shall refuse thine entry!

Ppwn Shoppe price: 5 flezz

I made the coups

FAIL

Avatar: 36735 2011-07-31 00:53:35 -0400
6

[Full of SbumSS]

Level 25 Re-Re

Head of the Ministry of Well-Timed Jokes

MOLESTACHE COMB

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No one likes hair where it shouldn’t be, especially you Mr. Molestache wearer! Keep it under control with this new molestache comb. Now you can roam neighborhood parks without fear of your stache looking crazy. Those pesky parents won’t suspect a thing with your well groomed molestache!

Ppwn Shoppe price: < 18 flezz haha

Took the pic myself. Yeah, I own a mustache comb.

FAIL edited this message on 05/14/2008 6:51PM

wilD-****22

Avatar: wilD-sLuT22's Avatar
4

Level 10 Camwhore

i'm such a tedious, utterly useless **** that i deserve nothing more than a stock **** avatar

crayoncakes, you need to get the smaller images to 40x40, those are a little too large, but good submissions

Pickled male reproductive organ-
bum

Avatar: Pickled Dickbutt's Avatar
47

[Board of Directors]

Level 10 Camwhore

AHAHA HEADSETS

because I like the concept, but don’t think the picture ‘says’ enough, I went to a blog of public domain photos and found this, and made it a little creepier

Haunted Doll

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The previous owners of this doll would probably have some spine chilling stories to tell, you know, if they hadn’t disappeared without a trace.

Ppwne Shoppe price:  4013

Pickled Dickbutt edited this message on 05/14/2008 7:31PM

crayoncakes

Avatar: crayoncakes's Avatar
16

[Team Shortbus]

Level 31 Troll

To Earthend and beyond!

Fixed my stupid mistake. Thanks for warning me, guys.

Jalapeno Boo-
tyhole

MODERATOR
Avatar: 44 2012-11-06 12:31:55 -0500

[Crotch Zombie]

Level 44 Emo Kid

Happy fifth anniversary, Forumwarz! :pumpaul:

Pickled male reproductive organbum Posted:

because I like the concept, but don’t think the picture ‘says’ enough, I went to a blog of public domain photos and found this, and made it a little creepier

Haunted Doll

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The previous owners of this doll would probably have some spine chilling stories to tell, you know, if they hadn’t disappeared without a trace.

Ppwne Shoppe price:  4013

Love it!

Wyrd

Avatar: 2782 2011-10-31 19:56:49 -0400
24

[Brainfreeze]

Level 35 Camwhore

I tried to get over myself, but I'm just too awesome!

And another one!

Old porn magazines

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Second-hand porn! As long as you ignore the stains and stuck together pages, it’s like new. The fact that most of the women in these magazines are now old enough to be your mother is something you’d better not think about. Hey, wait a minute, that is your mother!

Picture taken and resized by mark, it’s not my porn! (My porn’s digital)

Something_Wi-
tty

Avatar: 32289 2010-01-24 16:35:06 -0500

[Team Shortbus]

Level 26 Permanoob

OH GOD WHAT THE **** IS THAT MY HEAD JUST GOT DECAPITATED

Just a side note, I’ve edited all my previous submissions, they should be exactly the right dimensions now.

Crappy Woodwork Project

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Taking ‘shop clbum? Strapped for time and skill? Hand this completely impractical object in for an easy D+!

Nerf Gun

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8 rounds of sibling and pet-tormenting fun!

Tribal Rock Painting

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A nostalgic look back into the creative past of a country’s native people. Or a handy tool to smash shop windows and faces with.

Dusty Sea Shell

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That’s not the sea you’re hearing, a legion of spiders is coming to kick your bum for disturbing their home.

Disgusting Clump of Hair

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Wet, smelly, and stuck together with mold. At least, you think it’s mold…..oh god.

FAIL

Avatar: 36735 2011-07-31 00:53:35 -0400
6

[Full of SbumSS]

Level 25 Re-Re

Head of the Ministry of Well-Timed Jokes

Something_Witty Posted:

Disgusting Clump of Hair

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Wet, smelly, and stuck together with mold. At least, you think it’s mold…..oh god.

SONOFA**** I was going to do a very similar one, except call it “Clump of (some c-list celebrity I haven’t thought of yet)’s hair” then have some kind of stalker description.

YOU WIN THIS ROUND, WITTY

Something_Wi-
tty

Avatar: 32289 2010-01-24 16:35:06 -0500

[Team Shortbus]

Level 26 Permanoob

OH GOD WHAT THE **** IS THAT MY HEAD JUST GOT DECAPITATED

FAIL Posted:

SONOFA**** I was going to do a very similar one, except call it “Clump of (some c-list celebrity I haven’t thought of yet)’s hair” then have some kind of stalker description.

YOU WIN THIS ROUND, WITTY

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That said, you’ve got some great entries and will probably whip out something that wipes the floor with me later. And your idea was good too.

BUT IN THE MEANTIME, I SHALL GLOAT AND ENJOY MY SMALL VICTORY.

Something_Wi-
tty

Avatar: 32289 2010-01-24 16:35:06 -0500

[Team Shortbus]

Level 26 Permanoob

OH GOD WHAT THE **** IS THAT MY HEAD JUST GOT DECAPITATED

Fijian Club

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Sure, this would’ve been a very effective weapon…..a few hundred years ago. You know, before they had a little thing known as ‘guns’.

Mutilated Soft Toy

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This loyal companion has endured droll, vomit, bludgeoning, mud, sand, washing machines, pets, large falls, biting, hugs and tears. And he STILL loves everyone that ever owned him. Now he can be your best friend too!

Worn Retractable Knife

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Too blunt and rusty to cut anything tougher than paper, yet still able to get you landed in a world of **** in airports the world over!

Child’s Drawing

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Swiped from a children’s sick ward, it’d be wise to hold onto this one for a while. Everyone knows art value SKYROCKETS when the artist croaks.

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