Bacchus Posted:

ok

I’ve been drunk, you’ve been drunk… how do we sober up when we gotta?

I find coffee and spicy food (especially something with eggs) to be best. What works for you?

What have you been drinking? Please don’t say furniture polish…

Milk and water. Works for me.

Sounds like you have a nice buzz going. Maybe you should have a few more beers to calm down then just go to sleep when you start feeling tired.

fatty breakfast and oj oh no wait thats to not get hungover. nevermind

eat something doughy like bread or a bagel or pizza

Bacchus Posted:

I don’t want to hear about pizza. You shut the **** up about pizza.

how about focaccia?

not only that it’ll be like a sponge and soak up all the alcohol and help your body metabolize it faster. just don’t go to sleep on your back. side sleeping ftw

Bacchus Posted:

I’ve heard that many times, but never seen it successful in action. Carbs make your bowels work and put you to sleep, so they’re great for letting you know when you’ve had too much because you’ll go right the **** to sleep… but they don’t change how drunk you are. Arguably they help the hangover.

well backus, if you soak the alcohol in a bolus of food, it prevents it from pbuming into the intestines, where absorption occurs. this is why drinking on an empty stomach gets you drunker, because the alcohol spends no time in your stomach being churned around, it simply pbumes thru to your intestines, where absorption occurs rapidly and the alcohol hits your bloodstream all at the same time.

perhaps you are correct that it won’t help in this matter if it’s been quite a while since your last drink, but the bread sponge trick will definitely help to sober you, if, for example, you’ve been drinking and suddenly need to leave a party. it will at least slow down the alcohol already in your stomach and prevent it from intoxicating you further.

I have neglected to post the staple of any self preserving drunk: Fish.

Especially salmon, but any fish is EXTREMELY good for the modern drunk. They contain the vitamins and minerals that your liver uses to process the alcohol.

I have found that the best way to sober up is to wait until I am not as drunk anymore. It seems this is a foreign concept to a lot of people who want food to somehow replace the pbumage of time as a dimension. I guess that is inevitable though when you are the type of person whose favorite drunken activity is to try to stop being drunk. And/or someone who has a time lock on their liquor cabinet that will only open when you have a presentation to make at your job in three hours.