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Sup Losing Weight

Bix Nood

Avatar: 60260 2010-10-12 20:21:23 -0400
1

Level 60 Troll

MUP DA DOO DIDDA PO MO GUB BIDDA BE DAT TUM MUHFUGGEN

So. This is the scoop.

I need to lose 5 pounds by tomorrow, or else I am kicked out of the navy, and destined to spend the rest of my life as a failure.

I’m taking Laxatives, and coffee.

If I die, I am going to be very perturbed and sad.

I am totally flying on caffeine right now, so I can’t feel my mouth. Like literally cannot feel it.

Wish me luck, ‘cause I’m gonna need it. -.-

Bandaney

Avatar: 70433 2014-06-07 22:10:47 -0400
24

[Grey Goose Mafiosi]

Level 60 Hacker

Ask me about how many male reproductive organs in my bum :zak:

there’s no way in hell you’re losing 5 pounds in a day. rig the scale.
you should have closed your mouth earlier, you lazy Log in to see images!

Bear

Avatar: 19845 2011-10-31 11:07:12 -0400
25

[Brainfreeze]

Level 69 Emo Kid

“The Infinite Sadness”

Chop off a limb.

Aurum

Avatar: Code (Green)
7

[Lee Harvey Oswalds-
Orphan Powered De-
ath Machine
]

Level 61 Hacker

INCIT is like my birthday party but with more people

Cycle while swimming at high speeds up a slope.

sdgrbbum09

Avatar: 165234 2012-12-05 02:59:05 -0500
22

[A Beautiful Place -
Out in the Country
]

Level 69 Troll

I AM A BOVINE ****WAD

By tomorrow? Holy **** man. My advice: Take a trip to the sauna. Wear a sweatsuit.

Jubbles

Avatar: 24099 2011-10-31 20:24:56 -0400
100

[Brainfreeze]

Level 69 Camwhore

I went almost four years without a custom title and all I got was this custom title. Also, male reproductive organs.

Take the Donkey Lips route: “I can take out my retainer and I’ll get a haircut.”

If all else fails, and the Navy doesn’t weight you that way already, just get naked. With any luck, the person at the scale will be too horrified to look at you and you can tell them any number you want.

mterek

Avatar: 192622 2009-09-24 16:39:01 -0400
18

[mahjong]

Level 69 Re-Re

$$$$$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$$$$$

Dress yourself in as much heavy clothing as you can and exercise non-stop. If you’re doing it indoors, make sure you turn the heat up. The trick is to sweat out those five pounds, that’s the fastest way to do it quickly.

Then again, if you were lazy enough as to go five pounds overweight, I doubt you’d have the fortitude to go through sweat shock treatment.

Skyman747

Avatar: 115546 2011-07-31 00:23:14 -0400
17

[Harem and Sushi Bar]

Level 69 Hacker

DIRTY ****ING fine upstanding member of society woman's genitals

Get some acai berrys to clean out your colon. All the pop-up ads say they work great.

sdgrbbum09

Avatar: 165234 2012-12-05 02:59:05 -0500
22

[A Beautiful Place -
Out in the Country
]

Level 69 Troll

I AM A BOVINE ****WAD

Skyman747 Posted:

Get some acai berrys to clean out your colon. All the pop-up ads say they work great.

I think you mean a├žai berries. I’ve never heard of acai berries.

Adapt

Avatar: 58104 2011-10-31 21:36:25 -0400
16

[Grey Goose Mafiosi]

Level 48 Camwhore

Celerysteve Changed Adapt's Custom Title

You should have eaten a tape worm.

Fie

Avatar: 152207 2011-11-01 00:46:41 -0400
10

[And The Banned Pla-
yed On
]

Level 47 Camwhore

I want to see some real, live poop.

Stop drinking. Start sweating. You have about five pounds of water weight you can loose.

Adapt

Avatar: 58104 2011-10-31 21:36:25 -0400
16

[Grey Goose Mafiosi]

Level 48 Camwhore

Celerysteve Changed Adapt's Custom Title

Fie Posted:

Stop drinking. Start sweating. You have about five pounds of water weight you can loose.

Ya that’s a good point too. Stop all that coffee, and other drinks. Just drink nothing, still take the laxatives though. Maybe some niacin would help kick start your metabolism.

Also all those things jockeys did to make weight. Good stuff on that.

Go VEGAN Log in to see images!

Jubbles Posted:

Take the Donkey Lips route: “I can take out my retainer and I’ll get a haircut.”

If all else fails, and the Navy doesn’t weight you that way already, just get naked. With any luck, the person at the scale will be too horrified to look at you and you can tell them any number you want.

Don’t stop with a hair “cut,” wax head to toe.

thew00

Avatar: 51460 2010-11-03 22:07:34 -0400
4

[Dom Jihad]

Level 65 Hacker

IM SUCH A fabulous person. I JUST WISH I WAS COOL BUT IM GERMAN. WAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAHHHHHHHHH HH

might sound gruesome, but for a last minute measure when u have to lose weight quickly, just stick ur finger in your throat and start throwing up

Nicco

MODERATOR
Avatar: 24745 2011-07-31 00:34:23 -0400
51

[Harem and Sushi Bar]

Level 69 Troll

Nicco Nicco Nicco Nicco Nicco Nicco Nicco Nicco Nicco Nicco Nicco Nicco Nicco Nicco Nicco Nicco

just quit the navy because the navy is male reproductive organs

thew00

Avatar: 51460 2010-11-03 22:07:34 -0400
4

[Dom Jihad]

Level 65 Hacker

IM SUCH A fabulous person. I JUST WISH I WAS COOL BUT IM GERMAN. WAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAHHHHHHHHH HH

Nicco Posted:

just quit the navy because the navy is male reproductive organs

seconded, join the airforce instead

AIDS woman's genitals

Avatar: 184403 2009-09-17 04:10:15 -0400
25

Level 69 Troll

show me your zucchini and I'll show you my cugreat timesber :zak:

What’s up with joining the Army instead? Keep you feet on the ground.

Patently Chi-
ll Prestidig-
itator

Avatar: 128746 2011-10-09 04:24:59 -0400
8

[love is a dog from-
hell
]

Level 69 Troll

Celerysteve is incredible... he is just so... so incredible.

Adapt Posted:

You should have eaten a tape worm.

male reproductive organFACEPANTS

Avatar: 60174 2010-06-14 22:20:22 -0400
18

[7 VIBRATING DOLDOES]

Level 65 Troll

REDNECK fine upstanding member of societyfabulous person WHORE

Adapt Posted:

Ya that’s a good point too. Stop all that coffee, and other drinks. Just drink nothing, still take the laxatives though. Maybe some niacin would help kick start your metabolism.

Also all those things jockeys did to make weight. Good stuff on that.

If he loses five pounds of water all in one day, I’d be surprised if he didn’t die or get otherwise messed up pretty badly.

Instead he should go to the drug store and get an enema kit or better yet if he has time go to a professional and have it done there. I don’t know how much you’ve pooped so far Bix Nood but I’ve read somewhere that you can lose up to 3 pounds with an enema.

The OTHER two pounds you can lose with a combination of sweating and hair & nail removal.

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