Aldo_Anything Posted:

He who was a mod

But quit to report more posts

MC Banhammer

reported

Good luck! :-)

Hey… when you get the chance I think I speak for many of us when I say that I would like to see how the haiku turned out. It will have to wait until you’re done judging, of course, but I always enjoy non-traditional poetry.

Also, if JB delivers on sharing his Haiku with us, it has been my experience that Haiku poetry works well for legible writing on mammary glands. (You really don’t want the details.) I think that the long-term happiness and prosperity of the American people may well depend upon a camwhore writing this on her mammary glands, even if we have to get some BP and bribe her to do it! What do you guys think?

puss mcquack Posted:

seconded

Hmmmm….

So at least two of us are into the mammary glands idea, and I still don’t have the Host e-peen…

It seems that there has to be some way for this to work out for the benefit of everyone involved. If JB posts the haiku here, I’ve already purchased a ****ton of brownie points that could be used to reward our beloved camwhores for their hard work and sacrifice. It is my humble opinion that we have all the makings of a pretty epic contest!

Log in to see images!

male reproductive organFACEPANTS Posted:

Dude, video that ****!

Do I smell a new podcast in the works?

Jubbles Posted:

I’m going to third Yiff’s idea. One of my life’s goals is to be just famous enough to sign breasts, and this could be pretty close if one of my entries got haiku’d.

Log in to see images!

Performed two (fully original) haiku and was soundly defeated in the preliminary round. My opponent brought a couple “serious” haiku to the table, and the wuss judges were easily swayed. Having nothing but filth and degeneracy in my arsenal, I didn’t stand a chance! Luck of the draw, I’d say.

My second piece apparently had some people laughing and others shaking their heads. I forgot there were some bonafide Southerners among us:

Postmodern ethics
Like Alabama orgies:
”It’s all relative”

There’s going to be a proper haiku deathmatch in Toronto sometime this year, and I’ll be sure to enter that. Hopefully, I’ll fare a little better!

MC Banhammer Posted:

...there are some people who can’t post on these forums but can read them…

These people stand in sharp contrast to me.

Hey, party people! Sorry I took so long to judge this. All that travel and work to catch up on…you know how it goes.

Anyway, some seriously funny entries in here. Some of you have some real talent in this realm! And no, I didn’t judge based on their haiku-worthiness.

First place (50 Log in to see images!→ “Hitler ran his fingers lovingly through Anne Frank’s dark hair. Then he tossed it back on the pile to be woven into socks for submariners.”

Second place (30 Log in to see images!→ “Using a complex system of pulleys and wires, I have animated Michael Jackson’s corpse. Now he can Moonwalk forever. *sniff*”

Third place (20 Log in to see images! great times!’”

Dishonorable mention 1 (10 Log in to see images!→ “Jonny’s sister couldn’t run very fast, but she sure sucked a male reproductive organ at lightning speed. The trick, said Jonny, keep her inhaler until she’s done.”

Dishonorable mention 2 (10 Log in to see images!→ ”’Look mummy, there’s an airplane up in the sky,’ he said on his first, and last, visit to the WTC.”

Thanks to everyone who entered! Next time, I promise, there’ll be some sweet sweet (sweet) E-Peen up for grabs. Stay tuned…

That one from Yiff was definitely a winner. Thanks for the 30 beeps, too.

Are you surrrre we can’t convince someone to turn this into a peen contest? Log in to see images!

Thanks! :-)