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Smile (NSFW) CONTEST FOR 60 BP: The Confessional Booth

YiffInHell2

Avatar: 189845 2010-04-21 19:44:38 -0400
10

[Island of Avalon]

Level 69 Troll

“Human Yeast Infection”

YOUR MISSION, SHOULD YOU CHOOSE TO ACCEPT IT: Confess to the wildest, most hilarious, sexiest, or most embarrbuming thing you’ve ever done, wish that you had done, or want people to think that you have done. Submissions can be true or fictional, and can include role playing and any format that you feel comfortable with. I will pick the winner based on my subjective opinion of which post I like the best. I’m a fan of originality, high-quality writing, and posts with exceptional entertainment value. Posts can be of any length and can consist of content that is funny, sexy, epic trolling, or just plain ridiculous. Please limit yourself to one submission per alt unless you’re shamelessly promoting yourself with original nudes, in which case post as many as you would like.

Log in to see images! Keep it fun and lighthearted.

TIMELINE: Submissions should be in prior to 12:00 EST on July 10, 2010.
Log in to see images!

YOUR REWARD: 60 brownie points will be awarded and the winner with the most amusing entry announced on or before July 14.
Log in to see images! YiffInHell2 edited this message on 06/28/2010 5:46PM

Birdcage

Avatar: Chugging Beer

Level 40 Troll

“Hot Sauce in the Dick Hole”

Really, no one’s replied to this? It sounds epic.

True story:

It was a sunny September afternoon, and I was at an amusement park – Thorpe Park, in England, to be exact. Me and some friends were making the most of a day off school to go have some fun. We’d been there a few hours, done all of the big rides, and were just settling down for lunch. Before I got into the Burger King, I noticed an old fair game I hadn’t done in a long while – one of those Test Your Strength games, where you whack the thing with the hammer, and it shoots a little iron thing into a bell.

One of my friends, Martin, said he could do better than me. I laughed at him, cos I’m 6 foot 1, and muscley, whereas he’s about 300lbs of flub. I happily excepted, and let him go first. He didn’t go bad – 8/10 on the scale, or so. I hefted the hammer and grinned at him.

I smashed that mallet as hard as I could into the thing. I managed to ring the bell, scoring 10/10. I remember that much. From this point, I’m recounting what I was told happened.

The mallet’s head, being tough rubber, was slightly springy. I caught it on the metal lip of the pad you hit, and it bounced. Back into my forehead. I was told I stood upright for about 15 seconds, fighting to stay upright, before I just pbumed out flat on my back.

I woke up 2 days later, in a hospital bed. I’d managed to fracture my skull – turned out it wasn’t too serious, but it had some…fun effects on me, heh.

For the next month, I was in diapers. I had completely forgotten how to pee. I could **** in the toilet just fine, but I had to learn how to not **** myself again. For two months, I was stuck in my house – just walking to school was enough to make me vomit, with a splitting headache. Also, even now, years later, loud noises hurt my ears, like a ****.

On the plus side, I actually can see better in the dark now. I always had perfect vision, but now my eyes adjust to low-light levels really damn fast. Was examined by a few optometrists, they were amazed at how well I can see in the dark. So it wasn’t all bad, I suppose.

Chawin

Avatar: 146808 2012-12-30 22:05:41 -0500
12

[Deth Krew 2010]

Level 69 Hacker

Scared of death

i joined this site

SanDyk

Avatar: 175636 2012-01-01 09:50:12 -0500
21

[Grey Goose Mafiosi]

Level 69 Troll

I am the internet equivelent of Jon Stewart! Except less funny...

I posted in a terrible contest

SanDyk

Avatar: 175636 2012-01-01 09:50:12 -0500
21

[Grey Goose Mafiosi]

Level 69 Troll

I am the internet equivelent of Jon Stewart! Except less funny...

it was this contest

Chawin

Avatar: 146808 2012-12-30 22:05:41 -0500
12

[Deth Krew 2010]

Level 69 Hacker

Scared of death

****sake u took mine

Johnald The -
Robot

Avatar: 211354 2011-08-21 16:08:15 -0400
10

[Harem and Sushi Bar]

Level 69 Permanoob

JUST ANOTHER BRAINFREEZE REJECT

IN AN “EMBARRbum YOURSELF CONTEST” I POSTED MYSELF HUMPING A GIANT PLASTIC DUCK FOR BP BUT LOST TO SOME GUY WHO HAD A COLLECTION OF HORSEmale reproductive organ DILDOS.

Chawin

Avatar: 146808 2012-12-30 22:05:41 -0500
12

[Deth Krew 2010]

Level 69 Hacker

Scared of death

and i posted my bum

Robok

Avatar: 97222 2010-01-07 13:42:28 -0500
9

[The old goats have-
the stiffest horns
]

Level 40 Troll

I LOVE FALCON!

I killed a man.

Drakodan

Avatar: 57623 2010-05-29 20:03:09 -0400
13

[Brainfreeze]

Level 69 Troll

Surfing the Tubes

True story:

The other day I had to get a carrier bag, reach down the toilet and break up one of the biggest ****s I’d ever taken.

It actually wasn’t that bad.

sdgrbbum09

Avatar: 165234 2012-12-05 02:59:05 -0500
22

[A Beautiful Place -
Out in the Country
]

Level 69 Troll

I AM A BOVINE ****WAD

Johnald The Robot Posted:

IN AN “EMBARRbum YOURSELF CONTEST” I POSTED MYSELF HUMPING A GIANT PLASTIC DUCK FOR BP BUT LOST TO SOME GUY WHO HAD A COLLECTION OF HORSEmale reproductive organ DILDOS.

The sad thing is several people here have posted pictures of their animal dildos before.

Bacchus

Avatar: 224220 2013-12-30 13:01:13 -0500
14

[This klans name is-
precisely fifty c-
haracters long
]

Level 69 Troll

I AM ALSO A STUPID ****WAD

Johnald The Robot Posted:

IN AN “EMBARRbum YOURSELF CONTEST” I POSTED MYSELF HUMPING A GIANT PLASTIC DUCK FOR BP BUT LOST TO SOME GUY WHO HAD A COLLECTION OF HORSEmale reproductive organ DILDOS.

I came.

Ninja Dragon

Avatar: 98317 Mon Mar 02 19:27:47 -0500 2009
1

[WeChall]

Level 34 Hacker

“43 4f 44 45 20 4d 41 53 54 45 52”

I`ve read a story in another forum other day. It’s outstadingly funny, might win the 70 bp right away, but I’m not the author, and I don’t feel right pretending I wrote it. Can I post it here (it’s in portuguese, so I’ll translate) and still run for the bp?

Ninja Dragon edited this message on 07/05/2010 8:27PM

I exist

YiffInHell2

Avatar: 189845 2010-04-21 19:44:38 -0400
10

[Island of Avalon]

Level 69 Troll

“Human Yeast Infection”

Ninja Dragon Posted:

I`ve read a story in another forum other day. It’s outstadingly funny, might win the 70 bp right away, but I’m not the author, and I don’t feel right pretending I wrote it. Can I post it here (it’s in portuguese, so I’ll translate) and still run for the bp?

Sure thing! It doesn’t have to be original if it’s sufficiently awesome. Log in to see images!

Bacchus

Avatar: 224220 2013-12-30 13:01:13 -0500
14

[This klans name is-
precisely fifty c-
haracters long
]

Level 69 Troll

I AM ALSO A STUPID ****WAD

The nerd o powa Posted:

I exist

I cried.

Ricket

MODERATOR
Avatar: 4300 2011-11-01 00:56:47 -0400
100

[The Scrotal Safety-
Commission
]

Level 69 Troll

Good poster, upvoted.

I actually read every post in this thread.

Ninja Dragon

Avatar: 98317 Mon Mar 02 19:27:47 -0500 2009
1

[WeChall]

Level 34 Hacker

“43 4f 44 45 20 4d 41 53 54 45 52”

Temptations

Well, every good old teenager or even someone who is in puberty, has already gone through a temptation.

But what kind of temptations?

The temptations are those wrong things, that you know they’re good, but can’t do, for logical or family reasons.

It starts in the childhood, most boys start by influence of their female cousin and the weekend group baths in grandma’s house.

There’s always a time when your dad and your mon tell you the mischievous things they did in their adolescence and, basically, you have some desire of doing the same thing, even knowing it’s wrong, and then come the temptations (happened with me).

These kinds of situations are variable, might be that girl that you know you can’t be with, that cousin you always wanted to have, or even that chicken in the house near your beach house.

Log in to see images!

What? A chicken? I didn’t get it (you will soon do, boy).

Well, let’s tell my story:

I was in my aunt’s house, when my dad was telling stories of when we was a child and, among them, there was a, well, let’s say, funny story, in which my dad did (literally) his neighbour’s chicken.

Exactly 2 years later, I was 8, I was at the beach, and I saw a chicken, and then I remembered my dad’s story, then… well, you know what happened then.

I sat on the beach and started making my sandcastle, I ignored the chicken, but I think she was seducing me, those “male reproductive organ male reproductive organ” she made seemed to call me for a relashionship, until I grabbed her and stealthly took her to the back of the beach house, well… then something lame happened.

I won’t lie, when I started trying to introduce it in the chicken, the “male reproductive organ male reproductive organ” that came from her started getting quiet, but when I finished getting it inside, she simply despaired.

“COOOOOOOOOOCK COOOOOOOOOOOCK COOOOOOO…” the chicken screamed, I don’t think it was of pain, since, I tell the truth, it was a kind of faux-male reproductive organ what I had at that time.

Well, I was happy getting it inside that hot and narrow thing, but when I decided to stop it because the chicken was making too much noise, well, the worst happened.

The chicken was holding my material inside her, and she didn’t want to let it go, and then she started pecking my leg.

I then ran to the beach for my father, with the chicken stuck with me, and when I saw a lot of people laughing at me, I resorted to the worst. I went in the sea and tried to drown the chicken, but she was making so much noise that called even more attention to me, until one of my sisters showed up and tried to take the chicken out, but she didn’t want to let it go, I’ll never forget:

“Ahhhhhh… it hurts… take it out, sisteeeeeeeer”

“No… stop stop.. you are going to take my male reproductive organ out, ahhhhhh…. I want my daaaaad”

Well, I don’t remember it exactly, it took about one hour till the chicken decided to let it go of my male reproductive organ, they had to hold her beak and try to keep her from breathing.

Until today, at that beach, I and known as the “chicken boy”. =/

Log in to see images!

Original Post: Zero, from TibiaBR forums.

Translation: me (sorry if it’s crappy).

Ninja Dragon edited this message on 07/08/2010 3:10PM

SanDyk

Avatar: 175636 2012-01-01 09:50:12 -0500
21

[Grey Goose Mafiosi]

Level 69 Troll

I am the internet equivelent of Jon Stewart! Except less funny...

Ninja Dragon Posted:

Temptations

Well, every good old teenager or even someone who is in puberty, has already gone through a temptation.

But what kind of temptations?

The temptations are those wrong things, that you know they’re good, but can’t do, for logical or family reasons.

It starts in the childhood, most boys start by influence of their female cousin and the weekend group baths in grandma’s house.

There’s always a time when your dad and your mon tell you the mischievous things they did in their adolescence and, basically, you have some desire of doing the same thing, even knowing it’s wrong, and then come the temptations (happened with me).

These kinds of situations are variable, might be that girl that you know you can’t be with, that cousin you always wanted to have, or even that chicken in the house near your beach house.

Log in to see images!

What? A chicken? I didn’t get it (you will soon do, boy).

Well, let’s tell my story:

I was in my aunt’s house, when my dad was telling stories of when we was a child and, among them, there was a, well, let’s say, funny story, in which my dad did (literally) his neighbour’s chicken.

Exactly 2 years later, I was 8, I was at the beach, and I saw a chicken, and then I remembered my dad’s story, then… well, you know what happened then.

I sat on the beach and started making my sandcastle, I ignored the chicken, but I think she was seducing me, those “male reproductive organ male reproductive organ” she made seemed to call me for a relashionship, until I grabbed her and stealthly took her to the back of the beach house, well… then something lame happened.

I won’t lie, when I started trying to introduce it in the chicken, the “male reproductive organ male reproductive organ” that came from her started getting quiet, but when I finished getting it inside, she simply despaired.

“COOOOOOOOOOCK COOOOOOOOOOOCK COOOOOOO…” the chicken screamed, I don’t think it was of pain, since, I tell the truth, it was a kind of faux-male reproductive organ what I had at that time.

Well, I was happy getting it inside that hot and narrow thing, but when I decided to stop it because the chicken was making too much noise, well, the worst happened.

The chicken was holding my material inside her, and she didn’t want to let it go, and then she started pecking my leg.

I then ran to the beach for my father, with the chicken stuck with me, and when I saw a lot of people laughing at me, I resorted to the worst. I went in the sea and tried to drown the chicken, but she was making so much noise that called even more attention to me, until one of my sisters showed up and tried to take the chicken out, but she didn’t want to let it go, I’ll never forget:

“Ahhhhhh… it hurts… take it out, sisteeeeeeeer”

“No… stop stop.. you are going to take my male reproductive organ out, ahhhhhh…. I want my daaaaad”

Well, I don’t remember it exactly, it took about one hour till the chicken decided to let it go of my male reproductive organ, they had to hold her beak and try to keep her from breathing.

Until today, at that beach, I and known as the “chicken boy”. =/

Log in to see images!

Original Post: Zero, from TibiaBR forums.

Translation: me (sorry if it’s crappy).

I don’t get this post. are you confessing that this is a ****ty translation cause the OP clearly asked for your OWN embarrasing stories not other peoples

YiffInHell2

Avatar: 189845 2010-04-21 19:44:38 -0400
10

[Island of Avalon]

Level 69 Troll

“Human Yeast Infection”

Five days remaining! Log in to see images!

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