Alright, I figured I’d share this with you guys. I did this about a year ago.

I would explain more, but it’s self explanatory.

Go.

Connecting to server…

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

Stranger: hi im looking for girls 18-22

You: oh, you’re in luck.

Stranger: Log in to see images!

You: i happen to have some bound and gagged in my basement. some of them died, but if you can get past the smell, you’ll be ok.

Stranger: Log in to see images!

Stranger: so what is ur name

You: David Davidson, Sexual Deviant.

Stranger: Log in to see images!

Stranger: u r a girl ?

You: yeah

Stranger: really

You: are you excited?

Stranger: do u have any photo

Stranger: Log in to see images!

Stranger: ahahaha Log in to see images!

You: yeah i have lots of pictures.

Stranger: so good

Stranger: show me Log in to see images!

You: no, why do you think you get to see them so easily?

Stranger: but if i say to u

Stranger: lets be friend

Stranger: u will say me why so easily

Stranger: but im serious

Stranger: lets be friend

Stranger: Log in to see images!

You: k

Stranger: i do not wanna waste my time

You: we’re friends now.

You: wait

You: wait

You: don’t go anywhere

You: if you talk, i have naked pics for you

Stranger: ok

Stranger: i will wait

You: i actually have a video

You: wanna see it?

Stranger: so if u have any msn or facebook account

Stranger: it is will be great my friend

Stranger: ok send

Stranger: im waiting

Stranger: Log in to see images!

You: ok, i have it.

You: it’s uploaded to youtube

You: here’s the link

You: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yu_moia-oVI (This was a rickroll.)

Stranger: this video unreacheable from this country

Stranger: what is the video Log in to see images!

You: you have a porn filter?

Stranger: yes

You: damn, that was a hot video of me and a friend

You: you’re missing out

Stranger: Log in to see images!

Stranger: can u upload to another website

You: not really

Stranger: so how we can be friend

Stranger: ?

Stranger: do u have any msn or facebook account

Stranger: ?

You: hold on, let me find my acct

Stranger: ok

Stranger: and would u like to see my photo

Stranger: or profile

You: sure

You: wait

You: maybe

You: depends

You: are you gonna give me up?

You: are you gonna let me down?

You: are you gonna run around and desert me?

Stranger: http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=1250127&l=2d

1d875574&id=751133852

Stranger: this is me

You: that’s hot

Stranger: ahahaa Log in to see images!

You: did it make you uncomfortable when the donkey mounted you?

You: it did the first time with me too.

Stranger: Log in to see images!

Stranger: have u got ur account ?

Stranger: msn or facebook ?

You: i’m still looking

Stranger: or other ?

You: hold your horses.

You: or donkeys, whatever you prefer.

Stranger: Log in to see images!

You: here’s my myspace

You: (sorry, had to delete it.)

Stranger: so what is ur msn address

Stranger: give me to add u

Stranger: Log in to see images!

You: i don’t have an msn

You: well, i used to, back when i was doing porn, they had to contact me

Stranger: hımm r u a porn star

Stranger: Log in to see images!

You: yeah, i’ve been in a few videos

Stranger: show me one of them on other site

You: ones such as “Gigantic Black Firemen” and “It’s Not A Snake”

Stranger: Log in to see images!

Stranger: i wanna be with u

Stranger: how can we do

Stranger: ?

You: You got $5?

You: that’s all it takes for me to put out.

You: Just look up my name when you search videos

You: “David Davidson”

You: there should be over 9000 videos

Stranger: send me a link

Stranger: Log in to see images!

You: all i have are the youtube links

You: i don’t have any others

Stranger: so

You: hold on, i have one site i’m on

You: ok, so i’m on the front page on this site.

You: www.vomit-in-brazil.com

Stranger: which is u

You: the one on top

You: sexy, no?

Stranger: i hate from this site

Stranger: there is no beautiful things

Stranger: i do not like sex such as this

You: it’s all beautiful, you don’t want me to do that?

Stranger: i want to kiss and touch baby (WUT)

Stranger: so lick her

You: i have a few little kids around here, you want one of them?

Stranger: hey no

Stranger: i wanna baby is 18-22

You: is 17 ok?

Stranger: so u send me a link

Stranger: ok

Stranger: they r eating ****

You: no

Stranger: i hate it

You: there’s a 16 year old here, you want her? she’s the only normal one

Stranger: so

Stranger: u r not serious

Stranger: and not real

You: yes i am

Stranger: u make me crazy

You: did i just NOT send you my information?

You: i even showed you my site

Stranger: hey look

You: just because you’re not into what i am, you call me fake?

You: you just ****ed up

Stranger: do not send me ur site that

Stranger: i want u.. ur friend

Stranger: i supposed u r friendly

You: you don’t wanna see me and my friend?

You: Log in to see images!

Stranger: but u r not friendly

Stranger: u make me crazy

You: i’ve been more than friendly.

You: maybe you’re suicidal?

Stranger: i wanna have a girl

Stranger: Log in to see images!

You: i am a girl

Stranger: but i told u

Stranger: say me ur msn

Stranger: u send me a site

Stranger: how can i reach u

You: i don’t have msn

You: i don’t do porn anymore

You: so i can’t use that acct

You: it’s not free here

Stranger: is not there another account ?

Stranger: how can u do not use any email

Stranger: ?

Stranger: and do not do porn anymore

Stranger: it is not well

You: hold on, i’m gonna find a clean video

Stranger: get a boyfriend who really love u

Stranger: and waste ur time with him

Stranger: this is really god and infinite

Stranger: if u do porn

You: here

You: this is the only good video i’m in

You: http://www.efukt.com/2061_****_The_****_Out_Of_Me.html

Stranger: someone will break money and **** ur bum.. this is not good..

Stranger: this site even filtered

Stranger: i can not acces

Stranger: s

You: damn i really wanted you to see it

You: it was me and a horse

You: he gave it to me good

You: i couldn’t **** for a week

Stranger: upload to another site

You: doctors said my bumhole needed stitches

You: ok, let me find another site

Stranger: ok

You: what country are you in?

Stranger: turkey

Stranger: im in istanbul

Stranger: u know?

You: what’s your address? i usually travel around there

You: i’m all over istanbul, i do a lot of promotional work there

Stranger: if u come here

Stranger: i will be ur guide

Stranger: Log in to see images!

You: awesome

You: so, what’s your address? maybe i can send you some underwear or something

Stranger: so let me to see u.. ur pic.. ur video

Stranger: ahaha u r serious ?

You: i don’t think you can, because you have a filter, most of my videos are on porn sites

You: yeah i wanna send you the underwear i have on right now. Log in to see images!

Stranger: ahahaa Log in to see images!

Stranger: maybe when i see u

Stranger: after this

You: well, i dunno, because i’m not supposed to do things like this

You: that’s why i offered, but i don’t know if i can do it later, i might change my mind

You: if you give me your address, i can send them right now, before i change my mind. Log in to see images!

Stranger: but how can i trust u Log in to see images!

Stranger: u make me crazy everytime

Stranger: so

You: i showed you videos that i don’t show people i just met.

You: i took a chance with that

You: i even showed you my site

You: and you must be crazy if you don’t want me to send underwear to you

Stranger: if u give me a contact way to u… our friendship will go on.. on the other hand NOT

You: i gave you my myspace

You: that’s the way to contact me.

Stranger: but u dont understand me anymore

Stranger: i do not want ur underwear

Stranger: i want u

You: but everything i do gets recorded, if it looks like i am trying to run away, they’ll beat me almost to death

You: omegle is the only place i can go where it doesn’t get recorded

You: i don’t wanna get beat

You: please, save me

Stranger: but how

Stranger: u have no email

Stranger: no account

You: i can’t give that out, they check my email

You: if i have a message from someone, they read it, if it’s someone they don’t know, they’ll chain me up and whip me.

You: i don’t wanna go through that again.

You: last time i almost died.

You: Log in to see images!

Stranger: what u r talkng about

Stranger: r u serious

You: these people have me captive

Stranger: so this is a serious problem

Stranger: if u come here i can help u

Stranger: other side

Stranger: i can not

You: please help me, i’ll do anything

Stranger: can u come here

Stranger: ?

Stranger: escape ?

Stranger: hey

Stranger: r u there?

You: sorry, they walked in

You: the wanted to check on me

You: i can try to eschwak;dughijgqlu4bgf

You: #ksdjhglaurghf

You: qwegrfwegfqwger

You: wqgrqw’g

You: fq3wg

You: q

You: WHO THE **** IS THIS?

You: LISTEN, ****, YOU BETTER START TALKING

You: OR WE’LL FIND YOU

Stranger: find me ****

You: THIS **** IS AS GOOD AS DEAD, THANKS TO YOU

Stranger: u ****

Stranger: **** u

You: YOU BETTER WATCH WHAT YOU SAY, BEFORE WE JUST SAY **** IT AND SLIT HER THROAT

You: SHE’S OVER HERE CRYING FOR YOU RIGHT NOW

Stranger: u **** stop touching her

You: DON’T WORRY THOUGH, WE’LL SHUT HER UP REAL QUICK

You: I JUST HAD MY bumOCIATE PUNCH HER ****ING TEETH IN. THAT STOPPED THE CRYING REAL FAST.

Stranger: u mother ****er

Stranger: i will **** ur every cantimetre squares of u if u touch her

You: **** YOU

Stranger: Rself

You: THANKS TO YOUR LITTLE CONVERSATION, THIS woman's genitals IS DEAD.

Stranger: u son of a ****

You: YOU BETTER SHOW SOME RESPECT, WE’VE GOT THE KNIFE OUT ALREADY

You: SHE MIGHT NOT SEND YOU UNDERWEAR, BUT WE CAN SEND YOU HER SKIN.

Stranger: **** u man

Stranger: u can just beat a girl

You: WE BEAT THIS ONE ALL THE TIME

You: MAYBE IF SHE WOULDN’T TRY TO ESCAPE.

You: WE’RE GONNA COME FIND YOU, TOO.

Stranger: maybe i will beat u one day

Stranger: come on

Stranger: i will show u Turkish People

You: GOOD

You: JUST TO LET YOU KNOW, THE GIRL IS DEAD.

Stranger: i will **** all of ur cell

Stranger: **** u

You: IT’S FUNNY TO WATCH HER WRIGGLE AROUND ON THE FLOOR.

Stranger: **** ur mouth

Stranger: ur bumhole

Your partner has disconnected.

It went on for about an hour. Guy was ****ing very special.

Here’s another.

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

Stranger: hi i

You: hiii

You: asl?

Stranger: 18 m nz

You: awesome

You: 19 f ny

Stranger: wats ur name

You: nichole

You: u?

Stranger: im nathan

You: hi nathan Log in to see images!

Stranger: hay Log in to see images! wat are u doing

You: nm just board

You: lookin on the internet for random things

You: ia m sooooo random lol lol

Stranger: reali like wat

You: funny youtube stuff

You: like silly videos

You: u kno

You: funny cats

Stranger: lol awesome

You: p much

You: so

You: what u up to

Stranger: um in bed talking to u

You: awwww

You: u have a myspace

You: or ne thing

Stranger: um i have facebook

You: aww never got into it

You: my friend haz it tho

You: Log in to see images!

You: should i get one

Stranger: lol u should make one aye

You: okay let me go there

Stranger: lol ok

You: ugh i dunno if my parents would like this

You: loll

You: lol

Stranger: lol wat do u mean

You: well they r strict

You: since i live in their house

You: u kno

Stranger: wat are u doing wrong

You: im not really supposed to be talking to bois

You: especially since my last bf

Stranger: aww reali well i wont tell ok

You: okaaay Log in to see images!

You: promise?

You: cuz they look at my computer and stuff while im asleep

Stranger: yeah i promise

You: well gimme ur facebook and i can add u when i make it

Stranger: http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000467202166&ref=profile#!/profile.php?id=100000467202166&ref=profile

You: ur cuuuuute

Stranger: reali aww thnx

You: yessss

You: so how waz ur day

Stranger: good good can i see wat u look like

You: yeah hold on boyyy

You: trying to fin d a pic i like

Stranger: lol ok then

You: ok i have to upload one

You: i cant give out my myspace to ppl

You: brb

You: u wait k

You: Image deleted.

Stranger: ur hot

You: thx Log in to see images!

Stranger: yeah would u go there wit me

You: yeahhh

You: even tho im not supposed to

You: Log in to see images!

You: Image deleted.

Stranger: wow nice i would go there

You: this is recent

You: Image deleted.

Stranger: cool man wish u where here

You: me too

You: hehe

You: anything to get outta this house

You: u kno

Stranger: lol yeah n_n

You: so, wat do u do for fun

Stranger: um play soccer and flurt with hot girls

You: ur a little player huh

Stranger: lol im not little

You: haha

You: dont hate the plauer hate the game

You: hehe

Stranger: lol yeah aye excately

You: im so tired

You: i been up all day

You: dealing wit my parents

Stranger: aww reali

You: yea

Stranger: its ok so u got any more pics

You: yea

Stranger: can i see them

You: mayyyyybe

You: Log in to see images!

You: jk yes

Stranger: plz

You: Image deleted.

You: thats when i got my tattoo

Stranger: lol nice wish i could see the front lol

You: haha theyre huge to say the least

Stranger: lol justnthe way i like em

You: who wouldnt

You: hehe

Stranger: lol excately and wit that hot body huh

You: o yea

You: they r perky but they bounce too

You: Log in to see images!

Stranger: man ur awesome

You: hehe i havet had any in monthsssss

You: its so harrrrd

Stranger: reali aww poor u can i help

You: hahaha

You: yesss

You: if i could get out of this house

Stranger: lol reali can i see more pics of u

Stranger: lol ill try to help u

You: lets see if i have naughtier ones

Stranger: ok

You: Log in to see images!

Stranger: lol nice Log in to see images!

Stranger: can i see

Stranger: plz

You: let me seeee hehe

Stranger: plz plz

You: one second babe Log in to see images!

Stranger: ok then

You: u better be rubbing it

You: just sayin

You: hehe

Stranger: lol ;

You: are you

You: i hope so

Stranger: lol Log in to see images! yeah

You: hehe ur so cute

You: i found a naughty one

Stranger: lol thnx

You: http://i44.tinypic.com/10htxyf.jpg shock image

Stranger: eww wtf

You: what

Stranger: lol that wasnt u

You: yea it was

Stranger: the asain chick

You: http://i39.tinypic.com/51ornt.jpg shock image

You: wrong pic lol

You: sorry hehe

Stranger: r u ok

You: No.

You: Are you?

Stranger: no

You: Well, this is Nichole’s father.

You: Would you mind telling me what’s going on here?

Your partner has disconnected.

WHERE DOING THIS

Attempt to recreate the Bash psychic quote with a little success:

(unfunny stuff cut)

Stranger: You are so addicted to that game I can see.

You: no, in fact I have never played it

You: TvTropes.org

Stranger: Then it’s amazing how you know all those stuff.

You: i’m psychic too

You: yes

Stranger: Nice. Log in to see images!

You: i can answer questions before they are asked

You: as you can see

Stranger: I have a question in my mind right now.

Stranger: Can you answer it? Log in to see images!

You: see above

You: not really

Stranger: That’s your answer?

Stranger: Log in to see images!

You: see+

You: ?

You: sure

Stranger: Your answre does not make sense.

Stranger: Hahahaha.

Stranger: *answer

You: what doesnt?

You: see above wasn’t really my answer

You: and as you could see, I answered before

Stranger: What is it then?

Stranger: Whaaat? Log in to see images!

You: you are pretty predictable sometimes

Stranger: You are so weeird.

Stranger: Haha.

You: no

Stranger: What is your answer? Log in to see images! Repeat it!

You: see?

Stranger: Right.

You: yes

Stranger: How the hell did you do that.

Stranger: :| Haha.

You: it’s simple really

Stranger: How?

You: I already answered that question

You: haha

Stranger: Oh you weirdooo. Haha;

Stranger: What’s your name?

You: i didn’t answer that one

You: because i don’t reveal my name

Stranger: Answer it.

Stranger: Really?

Stranger: Why?

Log in to see images!

You: because I’m no good at making up names

You: yes

Stranger: Then tell me your real name.

You: T***** X*******

You: as I already said

Stranger: Gee great.

Stranger: That helped.

Stranger: :|

Stranger: =))

You: i need better luck though

You: did you fall asleep?

You: because the silence was so long

Stranger: No.

You: because this is not yet bash-worthy

Stranger: I’m letting you talk.

Stranger: Haha.

You: you were supposed to ask why

Stranger: Nooo.

Stranger: You weirdoo.

Stranger: Log in to see images!

You: yes

Stranger: Nah.

You: indeed

Stranger: Do you have a girlfriend?

Stranger: What a long answer huh.

Stranger: =))

Stranger: You’re funny.

You: moderately successful

Stranger: That’s your answer?

Stranger: So you have one?

You: see two replies up

(unfunny stuff cut)

Log in to see images!