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Business Why torches AND pitchforks? I mean, it's stupidly inefficient

Starfang_42

Avatar: Red Green Flashing
2

[Random Insanity]

Level 30 Troll

The **** of the Trollhole

You’re using two hand slots for something that could easily be combined into one unit. You could then grab a kama or sickle as a off-hand weapon and be that much more effective at rioting. I motion that all peasent uprisings should require the new “torchfork”.


My ego is trumped only by how ****ing awesome I am.

Korn-Nazi

Avatar: Emo Kid Thinking

Level 4 Emo Kid

“Emotionally Stable”

But riots nowadays usually consist of tasers and tear gas.


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Elwood Moose

Avatar: Toilet 2

[AfterHours]

Level 6 Troll

“Jerk Chicken”

When faced with a taser or tear gas, I would LOVE to have a torchfork handy. Because in my otehr hand would be some sort of anti stun/gas device.


You mark that frame an 8, and you’re entering a world of pain. -Walter Sobchak

Vince Russo

Avatar: Vince Russo's Avatar
5

Level 35 Troll

“Problem Child IV”

Elwood Moose Posted:

When faced with a taser or tear gas, I would LOVE to have a torchfork handy. Because in my otehr hand would be some sort of anti stun/gas device.

you mean rubber?

****ernet

Avatar: Bacteria

Level 10 Troll

“Pain in the ASCII”

Never question an angry farmer’s riot techniques.

Xifihas

Avatar: Poison Warning Sign

Level 13 Troll

“Pain in the ASCII”

The reason we use torches and pitchforks is because its fun you stupid douche!


If you can read this you’re looking at an example of good spelling and grammar. It’s not that hard, you just need to pay attention in english clbum.

Shanty

Avatar: Shanty's Avatar

[70 Character Story-
tellers
]

Level 20 Troll

“Li'l Hellraiser”

OP is a mother****ing genius.

Now, lets draw up those plans.

Elwood Moose

Avatar: Toilet 2

[AfterHours]

Level 6 Troll

“Jerk Chicken”

Agreed Shanty… so as credit to Starfang, I proudly present the very first prototype Pitchtorch V 1.0.0

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You mark that frame an 8, and you’re entering a world of pain. -Walter Sobchak

Starfang_42

Avatar: Red Green Flashing
2

[Random Insanity]

Level 30 Troll

The **** of the Trollhole

HaHa! Now THAT’S what I’m talking about!

...Are you thinking what I’m thinking? Because I’m thinking it’s angry mob time. We just need a target…

Also, we could sell a premium version with a metal fork. Ooh, the possibilities!

Starfang_42 edited this message on 03/29/2008 5:11PM

My ego is trumped only by how ****ing awesome I am.

NawtyFish

Avatar: Pink Dress
6

[WEG0TPAID]

Level 21 Camwhore

“Leave it to Cleavage”

I’ve got a better idea… instead of the torchfork and/or pitchtorch, what about a pitchfork that shoots flame out of the tines?

Yeah, that would kick bum. You could stab somebody, and then light them on fire from the inside!


Let’s be friends! I’ll cry if you say no Log in to see images!

Cxularath ftombn gonoragh pv’iornw hqxoxon targh?

Starfang_42

Avatar: Red Green Flashing
2

[Random Insanity]

Level 30 Troll

The **** of the Trollhole

NawtyFish Posted:

I’ve got a better idea… instead of the torchfork and/or pitchtorch, what about a pitchfork that shoots flame out of the tines?

Yeah, that would kick bum. You could stab somebody, and then light them on fire from the inside!

We’ll keep that model for our platinum members.


My ego is trumped only by how ****ing awesome I am.

NawtyFish

Avatar: Pink Dress
6

[WEG0TPAID]

Level 21 Camwhore

“Leave it to Cleavage”

Yeah, you don’t want just anyone running around with a pitchflame-thrower. Or a flame-throwerfork.


Let’s be friends! I’ll cry if you say no Log in to see images!

Cxularath ftombn gonoragh pv’iornw hqxoxon targh?

How can you still use a kama or sickle in your offhand? A torchfork would be a two-handed weapon. Log in to see images!


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NawtyFish

Avatar: Pink Dress
6

[WEG0TPAID]

Level 21 Camwhore

“Leave it to Cleavage”

1337xxxlolololxxx1337 Posted:

How can you still use a kama or sickle in your offhand? A torchfork would be a two-handed weapon. Log in to see images!


Let’s be friends! I’ll cry if you say no Log in to see images!

Cxularath ftombn gonoragh pv’iornw hqxoxon targh?

You could have a robotic third arm.

Or put a rubber glove on your male reproductive organ.


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Smudkipette

Avatar: Smudkipette's Avatar

Level 6 Troll

“Jerk Chicken”

I own patent #2387965928347 on the pitchfork/torch combination for use by peasant mobs while rioting, Pay Up w/ the royalties ****es


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Starfang_42

Avatar: Red Green Flashing
2

[Random Insanity]

Level 30 Troll

The **** of the Trollhole

Smudkipette Posted:

I own patent #2387965928347 on the pitchfork/torch combination for use by peasant mobs while rioting, Pay Up w/ the royalties ****es

You’ve obviously forgotten to account for time travel, spatial distortions, and the fact that you are several levels below the worst sgreat timesbag of a very special monkey ever to waste my oxygen, which, by the way, I will be billing you for along with the royalties you owe me. Ninja laywers…ATTACK!


My ego is trumped only by how ****ing awesome I am.

Elwood Moose

Avatar: Toilet 2

[AfterHours]

Level 6 Troll

“Jerk Chicken”

NawtyFish Posted:

I’ve got a better idea… instead of the torchfork and/or pitchtorch, what about a pitchfork that shoots flame out of the tines?

Pitchtorch V.2.0 has been submitted to the R&D Dept. Along these lines, we are also designing a torch that spews forks as well. We anticipate it to go over very well at G-4 summit demonstrations.


You mark that frame an 8, and you’re entering a world of pain. -Walter Sobchak

owlicopter

Avatar: Schoolgirl Uniform
12

Level 17 Camwhore

“Leave it to Cleavage”

Everything about this idea is fantastic. I want one. Seriously.

Evil Foreskin

Avatar: Crying Painting

Level 6 Emo Kid

“Scene Kid”

While pitchtorch got it right, it should be pointed out (because some of you are admittedly too stupid to recognize this) that the torch and the pitchfork serve completely different purposes. The torch is so you can ****ing *see*...these mob raidings in the rural countryside tend to happen at night. Turning the pitchfork into a partial flamethrower doesn’t solve the lack of light problem that the torch was for.

Evil Foreskin edited this message on 04/01/2008 1:19AM
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