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Contest [CONTEST] Win a copy of Episode 3! Or just 100 BP, if you're into that sort of thing.

BobTheSqueak-
yWeasel

Avatar: 63475 2010-04-01 02:14:05 -0400
26

Level 69 Emo Kid

“The Infinite Sadness”

Here’s the deal: I just interviewed for a new job, and I need something to entertain me for a few days while I work on packing up my belongings for the big move. Soon I’ll be starting a new life as a contributing member of society, but until then I’d love it if the Forumwarz community would keep me amused by posting random acts of creativity. These can be stories, jokes, songs, artwork, pathetic descriptions of how much 100 BP would have meant to your dead cousin, or anything else you might feel like posting.

What’s that? Oh, right, 100 BP. That’s the prize I’m offering to the individual who entertains me the most within the course of the next week. It’s perfect for buying a copy of Episode 3 (or Episode 2, if you’re really that far behind), or for simply frittering away on whatever it is people fritter away BP on.

Anything you would like me to consider as a contest submission must be posted in this thread; I don’t want your Tubmails. As an extension of this concept, anything posted in this thread will be considered a contest submission. Trolling is allowed, as I find it amusing, but poor attempts at it will earn you nothing but my scorn.

This contest ends next Tuesday, December 22, 2009, at 11:59pm EST, after which time I will select a winner, entirely subjectively.

BobTheSqueak-
yWeasel

Avatar: 63475 2010-04-01 02:14:05 -0400
26

Level 69 Emo Kid

“The Infinite Sadness”

BobTheSqueakyWeasel Posted:

Here’s the deal: I just interviewed for a new job, and I need something to entertain me for a few days while I work on packing up my belongings for the big move. Soon I’ll be starting a new life as a contributing member of society, but until then I’d love it if the Forumwarz community would keep me amused by posting random acts of creativity. These can be stories, jokes, songs, artwork, pathetic descriptions of how much 100 BP would have meant to your dead cousin, or anything else you might feel like posting.

What’s that? Oh, right, 100 BP. That’s the prize I’m offering to the individual who entertains me the most within the course of the next week. It’s perfect for buying a copy of Episode 3 (or Episode 2, if you’re really that far behind), or for simply frittering away on whatever it is people fritter away BP on.

Anything you would like me to consider as a contest submission must be posted in this thread; I don’t want your Tubmails. As an extension of this concept, anything posted in this thread will be considered a contest submission. Trolling is allowed, as I find it amusing, but poor attempts at it will earn you nothing but my scorn.

This contest ends next Tuesday, December 22, 2009, at 11:59pm EST, after which time I will select a winner, entirely subjectively.

Quoted for Toxx.

-XI-

Avatar: 65028 2009-09-29 14:53:15 -0400
8

Level 40 Troll

THEY'RE GONNA TASTE GREAT!

Ok then, you want creativity? Here. Have some.

http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/511754

A 2D puzzle game that allows you to create your own levels and share them with people. You’ll probably be playing this until your eyeballs pop out.

Joseph of Su-
burbia

Avatar: 182182 2013-09-23 16:02:05 -0400
59

[Brainfreeze]

Level 69 Hacker

Perpetually Gay

Reserved for a song of a poem or something that’ll win me 100 BP.

Skyman747

Avatar: 115546 2011-07-31 00:23:14 -0400
17

[Harem and Sushi Bar]

Level 69 Hacker

DIRTY ****ING fine upstanding member of society woman's genitals

Team Fortress 2 is having a free weekend starting thursday if you into that sort of thing Log in to see images!

xsr

Avatar: 222658 2009-12-12 05:49:19 -0500

[WeChall]

Level 46 Camwhore

“Loose as a Goddamn Goose”

http://www.kongregate.com/

Flash games with an achievement system.

DaxTheSqueak-
yBadger

Avatar: 87988 Sun Nov 23 13:01:59 -0500 2008
13

Level 69 Troll

“Human Yeast Infection”

To clarify, I’m not looking for a time-sink—I’m looking for people to submit interesting or cool things. Or to make the other competitors cry in an interesting fashion, should you choose to troll. If your submission requires me to do something other than simply check the thread, it’s not likely to win.

Sarcasm Inc

Avatar: 124937 2010-01-24 16:34:47 -0500
22

[pizza party]

Level 69 Hacker

Not needed anymore now that we have the SarcMark

It was a cold and windy morning in Squeakytown; the clocks were squeaking 10 O’clock, and the borough was bustling. “Bother” yawned Bob as he staggered out of the toilet. “I really shouldn’t have drunk so much last night”. Stretching his little arms, Bob padded into the hallway in search of coffee. It was at this point that Bob noticed the supine form of his good friend and occaisional alter ego Zak, lying on the floor. Zak wasn’t in a good state. Stark naked, and curled around a truck tyre that had mysteriously appeared in his living room, Zak had bite marks all over his body, and a large black dildo protruding from his rear end. “Wow,” thought Bob, “that was some party! Note to self: order more dildos.” Stepping over his friend’s prostate form, and gingerly avoiding the large pools of bumorted bodily fluids and alcohol, Bob made his way towards the kitchen, the sweet scent of roasted coffee beans enticing his protesting body forward. Just one more room to go…

Next time on The Often Confusing, Confounding and Downright Family Un-Friendly Adventures of the Squeaky Gang: Will Bob get his coffee? What horrors await in the kitchen? And will Zak let go of his truck tyre? All this and more, next time on TOCCADFUFAOTSG!

Sarcasm Inc edited this message on 12/16/2009 5:59PM

KING KING KI-
NG KING KING-
KING

Avatar: 190122 2011-07-31 00:25:04 -0400
11

Level 62 Troll

Mbumive fabulous person Mbumive fabulous person Mbumive fabulous person

It was a hot and sweaty afternoon in Squeakycity; the clocks were squeaking 1 O’clock, and the neighborhood was bustling. “Bother” yawned Carl as he staggered out of the sink. “I really shouldn’t have drunk so much last night”. Stretching his little arms, Carl padded into the foyer in search of a Grande Three Splenda Latte. It was at this point that Carl noticed the supine form of his good friend and occaisional alter ego Jak, lying on the floor. Jak wasn’t in a good mental state. Stark nude, and curled around a truck tire that had mysteriously appeared in his attic, Jak had bite marks all over his body, and a large black Flehlight protruding from his bum. “Wow,” thought Carl, “that was some bash! Note to self: order more fleshlights.” Stepping over his friend’s prostate form, and gingerly avoiding the large pools of bumorted bodily fluids and alcohol, Carl made his way towards the basement, the sweet scent of roasted brownies enticing his protesting body forward. Just one more room to go…

Next time on The Often Confusing, Confounding and Downright Family Un-Friendly Adventures of the SqueakyCity Crips: Will Carl get his brownies? What horrors await in the basement? And will jak let go of his truck tire? All this and more, next time on TOVIJKJDJKBHJBFRHJVD!!!!!!!

Log in to see images!

me trying to be original

KING KING KING KING KING KING edited this message on 12/16/2009 6:33PM

iostiogic

Avatar: 217288 2010-01-07 16:23:48 -0500
15

Level 33 Emo Kid

“Zorba the Bleak”

i will post a story here.

jackkdd

Avatar: Keyboard Keys

Level 13 Hacker

“Ohacku”

story of Ching….. Ching was born in hiroshima on august 14th, 1945….the end

Lady_Gaga

Avatar: 93840 2010-02-07 01:11:33 -0500
11

[Island of Avalon]

Level 69 Camwhore

“Venereal Biohazard”

Log in to see images!

d4

Avatar: harblgar
19

[Tormenting Evil Kn-
uckles of Satan
]

Level 37 Troll

“Problem Child IV”

In bed. Sleeping. Seems to be a fairly deep sleep tonight.

woah, I’m having a weird dream. I’m in the white house dressed in a navy blue suit with dark official looking sunglbumes

I’m walking down a long hall way. I look to the side and see my reflection and I don’t look like myself.

I’m nearing the oval office but now I’m hiding behind a big flower pot, **** got intense. Suddenly, the Mission Impossible theme is playing.

I crawl on the wall and onto the ceiling, like Spiderman, before anyone sees me. I crawl forward and find myself above the oval office door

Some guards walk by talking about Mrs. President. Weird, but apparently this isn’t shocking to me. I wait for them to walk farther.

They’re gone. I scratch my balls one last time, I expect death. I drop down and open the big gold encrusted doors to the oval office.

There’s someone sleeping in the chair, its facing outside. I close the doors behind me and walk slowly and cautiously onwards.

I get to the person in the chair, she has a book to her side on maverickism.

She then smirks and bashed me on the head with it! HOLY ****! Sarah Palin?!

I struggle from the floor and blow a dart into her neck, she’s put to sleep.

I lay her down, take off my gloves, search the room and break all cameras and odd devices.

Then I sit on top of her

and

I

Pick her nose.

****, she likes it, she’s squirming

I dig in there deep

Eventually pulling my finger out to see a blue goop like substance

I sniff it, it smells like brain. What the poo?

Her face begins to deteriorate, her nose along with it… What the

IT’S MICHAEL JACKSON! I JUST SHOVED MY FINGER DOWN MICHAEL JACKSONS DEAD PLASTIC NOSE

I’m in shock and disgust. Then I re poke it. Feeling the nice warm blue goop.

I unzip my pants

And change. No. I will not **** MJ’s nose you sick son of a ****. **** off.

My plan has been foiled, they saw me coming. I have to evacuate.

I creek open the door and quickly dart off in another direction. But before I know it, Senator McCain catches me.

first, he rips my face off, it was just a mask. He now knows my identity. He proceeds by saying “Daddy like”

He pins me down with his robot arms and removes his fake dentures. He unzips my pants. Again.

He divulges his sick gums into and around my male reproductive organ, while fingering my nose with his pinky! I WAKE UP! I WAKE UP! ****



Nobody fingers my nose but me.

spongebob-sc-
out

Avatar: 96536 Mon Sep 07 13:08:51 -0400 2009
8

[WeChall]

Level 69 Emo Kid

Streaks are really important :sarc:

Captain: Ohhhhh… who lives in a A HALF bumED BANANA under the potential?

Kids: gaybob Squarepants!

Captain: useless and in the colors of the rainbow and offbeat is he!

Kids: gaybob Squarepants!

Captain: If rigid food court be somthing you part…

Kids: gaybob Squarepants!

Captain: Then reciprocate on the White Board and gurgle like a FISHmale reproductive organ.

Kids: gaybob Squarepants!

Captain: Ready?

Everyone: gaybob Squarepants! gaybob Squarepants! gaybob Squarepants!

Captain: gaybob… Squarepants! ahhhahhhahahhaha!

_____________________________________________________

Life is like a gas tank here in Gayburg

Race 4chan Party Van, lasers, pickup trucks – it`s a Gay blur

You might bay a mystery or rewrite gayin’

Gay Tales, Oo-oo

Tales of daffy-do, bad and imaginary luck tales, oo-oo

D-d-d-danger, watch behind you – there`s a shoe out to bay you

Tales of drunken-do, bad and responsible luck tales, oo-oo

Not pony books or male reproductive organicide tails but Gay Tales, oo-oo!

When it seems they`re bestowed for the final Magnet

ambiguous deduction never smudges, that`s for certain

The worst of moistures become waiters!

Gay Tales, Oo-oo

Tales of drunken-do, bad and responsible luck tales, oo-oo

Not pony pickup trucks or steel male reproductive organ tails but Gay Tales, oo-oo!

spongebob-scout edited this message on 12/17/2009 9:00AM

SuperSonic

Avatar: 148701 2010-01-03 11:24:25 -0500
21

[WeChall]

Level 43 Hacker

“Backdoor Bob”

iostiogic

Avatar: 217288 2010-01-07 16:23:48 -0500
15

Level 33 Emo Kid

“Zorba the Bleak”

Log in to see images!

This Game will take all your time away.

Log in to see images!

Thank me later.

Toko

Avatar: Poison Warning Sign
1

Level 16 Troll

“Inflammatory Agent ”

Log in to see images!

SuperSonic

Avatar: 148701 2010-01-03 11:24:25 -0500
21

[WeChall]

Level 43 Hacker

“Backdoor Bob”

iostiogic Posted:

Log in to see images!

This Game will take all your time away.

Log in to see images!

Thank me later.

No offense, bro, but Gemcraft is Log in to see images!

Kirillov

Avatar: 185631 2010-01-07 18:48:49 -0500
4

[WeChall]

Level 69 Hacker

“Trojan Horse Magnum”

Cyanide and Happiness comics

http://www.explosm.net/comics/938/

Log in to see images!

Cyanide & Happiness @

Or ASDF “the movie”

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IYnsfV5N2n8

Enjoy it! xD

KING KING KI-
NG KING KING-
KING

Avatar: 190122 2011-07-31 00:25:04 -0400
11

Level 62 Troll

Mbumive fabulous person Mbumive fabulous person Mbumive fabulous person

It’s early in the morning. The sun won’t be up for another couple of hours. You’re fast asleep in bed, lost in a dream, when the phone rings. Rather than waking up, you roll over and cover your head with a pillow. Hours pbum. The sun rises. The phone is ringing.

When you wake up, your alarm clock is blaring and the phone is ringing. By the time you will yourself to turn the alarm off, the phone has stopped ringing. You realize that it’s been ringing all morning. You slide out of bed and press the blinking red bumon on your phone as you stumble into the bathroom. The phone beeps, followed by the friendly, electronic voice. “Hello. You have six hundred and sixty-six new messages.”

Message one.

The phone beeps again, and you’re not prepared for what comes next.

Screaming.

You spin around, thinking that she’s standing right behind you. There’s pure terror in her screams, accompanied by other disturbing noises. You stand there, horrified, for about ten seconds. Screaming gives way to hysterical, garbled crying before dying out with the sounds of spilling meat and tearing flesh.

The phone beeps again. You’re shaking.

Message two.

You’re a gigantic fabulous person

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