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DerKaiserRei-
ch

Avatar: 118110 Sun May 31 19:28:37 -0400 2009

[Temple of the Anth-
ropomorphic Majesty
]

Level 31 Troll

One of the few user who literally understands me -Aldo

**** Corp Posted:

Sure. I’ll happily trade a few kilobytes of text for a few hundred megatons of nuclear fire.

Log in to see images! DerKaiserReich edited this message on 11/05/2009 1:55AM

wtfmcnuggets

Avatar: 104315 Sat Apr 11 13:02:16 -0400 2009
34

[The Scrotal Safety-
Commission
]

Level 40 Troll

i finally grew a male reproductive organ

DerKaiserReich Posted:

...kill Hermann? Out of curiosity, why not keep him alive? When would you kill him?

Also, sticking together for a bit for genetic’s purposes would be a good idea.

On a random note, any reason you picked the French guy?

like eventually kill Hermann… i’m talking like 10 years in the future. and only if he’s unbearable or gets too old and sickly. maybe he’ll turn out to be ok with kids and could start a school… it depends on how he is, but yeah he’s dispensable once he’s taught us what he knows. he’d be too old to work then. from that list i think the french guy would be the best mate for me. seems well rounded and intelligent.

wtfmcnuggets

Avatar: 104315 Sat Apr 11 13:02:16 -0400 2009
34

[The Scrotal Safety-
Commission
]

Level 40 Troll

i finally grew a male reproductive organ

actually the more i think about it i might wanna trade out Mbumaga Linn for Chelsea Masterson (again bumuming no STDs). i think 1 older female/1 younger female to every breeding male ratio would work out nicely. me and Mike would take her, she could be interesting. i know enough about gardening that i could replace the japanese guy.

DerKaiserRei-
ch

Avatar: 118110 Sun May 31 19:28:37 -0400 2009

[Temple of the Anth-
ropomorphic Majesty
]

Level 31 Troll

One of the few user who literally understands me -Aldo

wtfmcnuggets Posted:

actually the more i think about it i might wanna trade out Mbumaga Linn for Chelsea Masterson (again bumuming no STDs). i think 1 older female/1 younger female to every breeding male ratio would work out nicely. me and Mike would take her, she could be interesting. i know enough about gardening that i could replace the japanese guy.

So what would your new list look like?

wtfmcnuggets

Avatar: 104315 Sat Apr 11 13:02:16 -0400 2009
34

[The Scrotal Safety-
Commission
]

Level 40 Troll

i finally grew a male reproductive organ

DerKaiserReich Posted:

So what would your new list look like?

Hermann Huntington

James Vitrono

Vanessa Rodriguez

Amy Youngston

Adam Li

Susan Cho

Juli Mohammed

Chelsea Masterson

Mike Preston

me

wtfmcnuggets

Avatar: 104315 Sat Apr 11 13:02:16 -0400 2009
34

[The Scrotal Safety-
Commission
]

Level 40 Troll

i finally grew a male reproductive organ

also, when we trade babies to go establish the new tribes, i’d give mine to the chinese couple. they seem a bit more intellectual and competent.

Sarcasm Inc

Avatar: 124937 2010-01-24 16:34:47 -0500
22

[pizza party]

Level 69 Hacker

Not needed anymore now that we have the SarcMark

Because I’m launching this strike, I’ve made the following choices:

1) Mr. Franklin: African black male, age 37, who went to law school, graduating successfully. Is a former Muslim converted to Christian Baptist, and practices his faith regularly. Is an avid smoker, who smokes 20 cigs a day. Is married, with one child. Won’t be happy with my nuclear fireball. Might use it to light a cigarette, though.

2) Mrs. Franklin: Swedish white female, age 35, who is a part-time secretary for a large company. Quiet, keeps to herself. Non-practicing Christian Baptist. Is married, has one child.

3)Floyd Franklin: mixed child, age 12, mentally handicapped with a severely debilitating learning disability. Likes puppies, chocolate, and the military. You are unaware if the child’s mental disorder is genetic from family or from birth complications. Son of the Franklins. – Kept to keep Mrs Franklin happy.

4) James Vitrono: Italian white male, age 33, a used-car salesman. Outstanding cook; good with kids. Divorced twice, never graduated college. Roman Catholic. As an Italian and Catholic, he would be a liability if the truth came out.

5)Hermann Huntington: white male, age 45, an Englishman and aristocratic-looking doctor who is unmarried. PhD in field; unable to reproduce due to sterility. Cold personality, religion unknown. – Kept for knowledge, unlikely to turn against me if it’s discovered I started the war.

6) Vanessa Rodriguez: Dominican female, age 21. Ex-child prostitute who now helps women get off the street. Devoted Roman Catholic. Friendly, but slightly overweight. – Moderator, useful for counselling and mediation.

7) Rick Washington: black male, age 59, civil rights social worker. Non-militant, outgoing and friendly; little experience working with other races due to self-chosen living environment. Practices Islam. Wife is deceased. No use for a social worker. Maybe he can help some radioactive mutants get their lives on track.

8) Mbumaga Linn: Japanese male, age 23, organic food store clerk. Member of green party; above average experience with gardening. Political anarchist and an atheist. Unmarried. Green isn’t likely to be a colour the Earth will be seeing for a while.

9) Adam Li: Chinese male, age 30, engaged. Quiet personality, is a cook for local oriental restaurant, studying culinary arts. Practices Buddhism faithfully. – Good cook, Buddhist’s aren’t violent, so unlikely to be a problem if the truth comes out.

10) Susan Cho: Chinese female, age 28, engaged to Adam Li. Slightly snobbish; comes from money. Practices Taoism half-heartedly; is good with children. – Kept for Adam.

11) Amy Youngston: English female, age 17, gothic personality. Raised Roman Catholic, converted to Atheism. Wants to be a clothing designer. Once vogue got hit with a Minuteman III, she ceased to be of use.

12) Kevin McGall: Irish male, age 46, fanatical white supremacist and military veteran. Sharp, regal, overbearing personality. Decorated for bravery multiple times; religion unkown. Might be useful if I could convince him that I nuked the world to ‘start a new, white world’. But the fact that I’m keeping ‘other races’ would belie that.

13) Gi’hands Mahtmah: Iranian male, age 30, self-defense instructor. Practices Islam with devotion. Heart trouble in medical background, occasional water pipe smoker. Medical problems = no. Also likely not to appreciate Tehran being turned into a radioactive pit.

14) Juli Mohammed: Saudi female, age 16. American patriot; vegetarian. Practices Islam half-heartedly. Too young and immature.

15) Chelsea Masterson: Serbian female, age 19, prostitute. Drug history in past, along with arrest records. Atheist, no political affiliation. Not needed

16) Bishop Wesslex: German male, age 54, local Diocese Roman Catholic bishop. Powerful and persuasive public speaker; avid studier and lecturer on the Crusades. Vows of chastity and poverty. Hearty constitution and health. I don’t need to be preached at.

17) Michelle Famtishidd: Indian female, age 25, practicing nurse. Weak immune system, focuses or working out and good looks. Devoted Hindu, single. – Nurses are needed.

18) Mike Preston: French white male, age 39, technology fiend. Loves books and artwork; outstanding computer programmer and gifted intelligence. Left-wing politics and agnostic. Single. – Useful for technology skills.

Sarcasm Inc edited this message on 11/05/2009 2:32AM

Inconnu

Avatar: 48966 2011-07-31 19:36:53 -0400
100

[The Scrotal Safety-
Commission
]

Level 69 Camwhore

Qui est cette chienne

Interesting how many people try to pick list according to their skills, forgetting the fact that there would be a whole ruined civilization outside with tons of information to learn.

Sarcasm Inc

Avatar: 124937 2010-01-24 16:34:47 -0500
22

[pizza party]

Level 69 Hacker

Not needed anymore now that we have the SarcMark

Now, where did I put that launch key…

Log in to see images!

Sarcasm Inc

Avatar: 124937 2010-01-24 16:34:47 -0500
22

[pizza party]

Level 69 Hacker

Not needed anymore now that we have the SarcMark

Inconnu Posted:

Interesting how many people try to pick list according to their skills, forgetting the fact that there would be a whole ruined civilization outside with tons of information to learn.

Yes, but don’t forget, it will be generations before the radioactivity and Nuclear Winter has dissipated enough to go outside. In that time, most of what is useful wil have been destroyed.

DerKaiserRei-
ch

Avatar: 118110 Sun May 31 19:28:37 -0400 2009

[Temple of the Anth-
ropomorphic Majesty
]

Level 31 Troll

One of the few user who literally understands me -Aldo

Sarcasm Inc Posted:

Because I’m launching this strike, I’ve made the following choices:

1) Mr. Franklin: African black male, age 37, who went to law school, graduating successfully. Is a former Muslim converted to Christian Baptist, and practices his faith regularly. Is an avid smoker, who smokes 20 cigs a day. Is married, with one child. Won’t be happy with my nuclear fireball. Might use it to light a cigarette, though.

2) Mrs. Franklin: Swedish white female, age 35, who is a part-time secretary for a large company. Quiet, keeps to herself. Non-practicing Christian Baptist. Is married, has one child.

3)Floyd Franklin: mixed child, age 12, mentally handicapped with a severely debilitating learning disability. Likes puppies, chocolate, and the military. You are unaware if the child’s mental disorder is genetic from family or from birth complications. Son of the Franklins. – Kept to keep Mrs Franklin happy.

4) James Vitrono: Italian white male, age 33, a used-car salesman. Outstanding cook; good with kids. Divorced twice, never graduated college. Roman Catholic. As an Italian and Catholic, he would be a liability if the truth came out.

5)Hermann Huntington: white male, age 45, an Englishman and aristocratic-looking doctor who is unmarried. PhD in field; unable to reproduce due to sterility. Cold personality, religion unknown. – Kept for knowledge, unlikely to turn against me if it’s discovered I started the war.

6) Vanessa Rodriguez: Dominican female, age 21. Ex-child prostitute who now helps women get off the street. Devoted Roman Catholic. Friendly, but slightly overweight. – Moderator, useful for counselling and mediation.

7) Rick Washington: black male, age 59, civil rights social worker. Non-militant, outgoing and friendly; little experience working with other races due to self-chosen living environment. Practices Islam. Wife is deceased. No use for a social worker. Maybe he can help some radioactive mutants get their lives on track.

8) Mbumaga Linn: Japanese male, age 23, organic food store clerk. Member of green party; above average experience with gardening. Political anarchist and an atheist. Unmarried. Green isn’t likely to be a colour the Earth will be seeing for a while.

9) Adam Li: Chinese male, age 30, engaged. Quiet personality, is a cook for local oriental restaurant, studying culinary arts. Practices Buddhism faithfully. – Good cook, Buddhist’s aren’t violent, so unlikely to be a problem if the truth comes out.

10) Susan Cho: Chinese female, age 28, engaged to Adam Li. Slightly snobbish; comes from money. Practices Taoism half-heartedly; is good with children. – Kept for Adam.

11) Amy Youngston: English female, age 17, gothic personality. Raised Roman Catholic, converted to Atheism. Wants to be a clothing designer. Once vogue got hit with a Minuteman III, she ceased to be of use.

12) Kevin McGall: Irish male, age 46, fanatical white supremacist and military veteran. Sharp, regal, overbearing personality. Decorated for bravery multiple times; religion unkown. Might be useful if I could convince him that I nuked the world to ‘start a new, white world’. But the fact that I’m keeping ‘other races’ would belie that.

13) Gi’hands Mahtmah: Iranian male, age 30, self-defense instructor. Practices Islam with devotion. Heart trouble in medical background, occasional water pipe smoker. Medical problems = no. Also likely not to appreciate Tehran being turned into a radioactive pit.

14) Juli Mohammed: Saudi female, age 16. American patriot; vegetarian. Practices Islam half-heartedly. Too young and immature.

15) Chelsea Masterson: Serbian female, age 19, prostitute. Drug history in past, along with arrest records. Atheist, no political affiliation. Not needed

16) Bishop Wesslex: German male, age 54, local Diocese Roman Catholic bishop. Powerful and persuasive public speaker; avid studier and lecturer on the Crusades. Vows of chastity and poverty. Hearty constitution and health. I don’t need to be preached at.

17) Michelle Famtishidd: Indian female, age 25, practicing nurse. Weak immune system, focuses or working out and good looks. Devoted Hindu, single. – Nurses are needed.

18) Mike Preston: French white male, age 39, technology fiend. Loves books and artwork; outstanding computer programmer and gifted intelligence. Left-wing politics and agnostic. Single. – Useful for technology skills.

That’s interesting; I believe you are the first person to choose the child to survive.

Also it’s interesting that you’re looking it from the perspective that it’s just to keep his mother happy.

Sarcasm Inc

Avatar: 124937 2010-01-24 16:34:47 -0500
22

[pizza party]

Level 69 Hacker

Not needed anymore now that we have the SarcMark

DerKaiserReich Posted:

That’s interesting; I believe you are the first person to choose the child to survive.

Also it’s interesting that you’re looking it from the perspective that it’s just to keep his mother happy.

That, and I think of him as a wildcard; we don’t know what skills he may develop; at the very least I’ve got a pacifier for his mother; a reason for her to have hope for the future. If he has some sort of savant skill, that’s just a bonus.

EDIT: I know the above sounds heartless, but I’ve just immolated the majority of humanity in an attack of proportions not seen since God decided to loose His heavenly host on the armies of the unbelievers.

Sarcasm Inc edited this message on 11/05/2009 2:50AM

I need to do this from a different angle. It’s my bunker and my instinct would be to save family and friends. Since that is not possible, and I also feel that repopulating the Earth with humans is impossible, and having children at all might be a bad idea because we don’t have room for them, I’m just going to take whoever I can live with.

1) The entire Franklin family is out. I won’t have a lawyer and a smoker in my bunker, we can’t take care of a very special kid, and that means the wife, horrified at the death sentences of her family, would be impossible to live with.

4) James Vitrono -YES: He can stay since he can cook some fine pasta and is not listed as “devout.” I was raised a Catholic, anyway.

5)Hermann Huntington -YES: Yep, we need a doctor and he’s very intelligent so he’d be interesting to talk to.

6) Vanessa Rodriguez -YES: I know what I said about devout, but she otherwise sounds like a harmonious addition and, as I said, I was raised Catholic and could see where she’s coming from.

7) Rick Washington -YES: He sounds like an interesting guy with a rich background and stories to tell. I feel like the “little experience with other races” is a red herring. It doesn’t say he doesn’t get along with other races, it seems more to imply he’s been working hard all his life among African Americans. He probably has good community organization skills. I don’t see why race matters when there’s 9 people left on Earth.

8) Mbumaga Linn -YES: Taking him for gardening, and because we could probably get along. Once the bunker was closed up, I wouldn’t have much interest in ruling over everyone and would prefer a democracy, so I don’t think the anarchy thing would be a problem.

9) Adam Li – NO: I would allow him, but I don’t want his “slightly snobbish; comes from money” wife, therefore he might be kind of mad about Cho, so no.

10) Susan Cho -NO: Blargh no

11) Amy Youngston -NO: She sounds like an insufferable drama queen. No thanks. I can sew well enough.

12) Kevin McGall -NO: Fanatical white supremacist? Not a chance. I wouldn’t anticipate us needing any soldiers, anyway. Or are we going to be attacked by rad scorpions?

13) Gi’hands Mahtmah -NO: “Practices Islam with devotion.” Going with no.

14) Juli Mohammed -YES: I’m also a vegetarian. Both of our dietary needs might be hard to meet, but what if my bunker is only stocked with vegetarian foods in the first place? It would be.

15) Chelsea Masterson -NO: No dumb whores, thanks.

16) Bishop Wesslex -NO: Guuahhhh no.

17) Michelle Famtishidd -YES: Only because I have to take an 8th. She’s obsessed with her looks and a devout Hindu, which in my experience (knowing devout Hindus irl) means she’s probably submissive towards men. She’s going to **** me off so much but maybe she can change and I can’t have any of the other No’s.

18) Mike Preston -YES: Absolutely. We’d get along just fine.

~~~~ Since I’m one of the survivors, and the de facto leader, I choose not to repopulate at all. Our most important tasks would involve obtaining and preparing food, health care, and maintenance.

Inconnu

Avatar: 48966 2011-07-31 19:36:53 -0400
100

[The Scrotal Safety-
Commission
]

Level 69 Camwhore

Qui est cette chienne

Sarcasm Inc Posted:

Yes, but don’t forget, it will be generations before the radioactivity and Nuclear Winter has dissipated enough to go outside. In that time, most of what is useful wil have been destroyed.

What if take more theoretical apocalypse reason? Not “generations”, but rather few years in bunker and then outside?

Sarcasm Inc

Avatar: 124937 2010-01-24 16:34:47 -0500
22

[pizza party]

Level 69 Hacker

Not needed anymore now that we have the SarcMark

1337xxxxxxxxxlolololololololololxxxxxxxxx1337 Posted:

I need to do this from a different angle. It’s my bunker and my instinct would be to save family and friends. Since that is not possible, and I also feel that repopulating the Earth with humans is impossible, and having children at all might be a bad idea because we don’t have room for them, I’m just going to take whoever I can live with.

1) The entire Franklin family is out. I won’t have a lawyer and a smoker in my bunker, we can’t take care of a very special kid, and that means the wife, horrified at the death sentences of her family, would be impossible to live with.

4) James Vitrono -YES: He can stay since he can cook some fine pasta and is not listed as “devout.” I was raised a Catholic, anyway.

5)Hermann Huntington -YES: Yep, we need a doctor and he’s very intelligent so he’d be interesting to talk to.

6) Vanessa Rodriguez -YES: I know what I said about devout, but she otherwise sounds like a harmonious addition and, as I said, I was raised Catholic and could see where she’s coming from.

7) Rick Washington -YES: He sounds like an interesting guy with a rich background and stories to tell. I feel like the “little experience with other races” is a red herring. It doesn’t say he doesn’t get along with other races, it seems more to imply he’s been working hard all his life among African Americans. He probably has good community organization skills. I don’t see why race matters when there’s 9 people left on Earth.

8) Mbumaga Linn -YES: Taking him for gardening, and because we could probably get along. Once the bunker was closed up, I wouldn’t have much interest in ruling over everyone and would prefer a democracy, so I don’t think the anarchy thing would be a problem.

9) Adam Li – NO: I would allow him, but I don’t want his “slightly snobbish; comes from money” wife, therefore he might be kind of mad about Cho, so no.

10) Susan Cho -NO: Blargh no

11) Amy Youngston -NO: She sounds like an insufferable drama queen. No thanks. I can sew well enough.

12) Kevin McGall -NO: Fanatical white supremacist? Not a chance. I wouldn’t anticipate us needing any soldiers, anyway. Or are we going to be attacked by rad scorpions?

13) Gi’hands Mahtmah -NO: “Practices Islam with devotion.” Going with no.

14) Juli Mohammed -YES: I’m also a vegetarian. Both of our dietary needs might be hard to meet, but what if my bunker is only stocked with vegetarian foods in the first place? It would be.

15) Chelsea Masterson -NO: No dumb whores, thanks.

16) Bishop Wesslex -NO: Guuahhhh no.

17) Michelle Famtishidd -YES: Only because I have to take an 8th. She’s obsessed with her looks and a devout Hindu, which in my experience (knowing devout Hindus irl) means she’s probably submissive towards men. She’s going to **** me off so much but maybe she can change and I can’t have any of the other No’s.

18) Mike Preston -YES: Absolutely. We’d get along just fine.

~~~~ Since I’m one of the survivors, and the de facto leader, I choose not to repopulate at all. Our most important tasks would involve obtaining and preparing food, health care, and maintenance.

Might you face resistance from some of the survivors (particularly the males) who wish to reproduce? It’s your bunker, but you’re one against 8…

Inconnu

Avatar: 48966 2011-07-31 19:36:53 -0400
100

[The Scrotal Safety-
Commission
]

Level 69 Camwhore

Qui est cette chienne

1337xxxxxxxxxlolololololololololxxxxxxxxx1337 Posted:

I choose not to repopulate at all.

Log in to see images! you’re awesome

Sarcasm Inc

Avatar: 124937 2010-01-24 16:34:47 -0500
22

[pizza party]

Level 69 Hacker

Not needed anymore now that we have the SarcMark

Inconnu Posted:

What if take more theoretical apocalypse reason? Not “generations”, but rather few years in bunker and then outside?

Hey, I’m launching this thing, and my launch key says that it’s the combined nuclear arsenals of the world.

Sarcasm Inc Posted:

Might you face resistance from some of the survivors (particularly the males) who wish to reproduce? It’s your bunker, but you’re one against 8…

I didn’t say no sex, I said no babies. Maybe they should fight each other to the death for a mate, though. That would be both entertaining and make room for children.

1337xxxxxxxxxlolololololololololxxxxxxxxx1337 edited this message on 11/05/2009 3:01AM

Sarcasm Inc

Avatar: 124937 2010-01-24 16:34:47 -0500
22

[pizza party]

Level 69 Hacker

Not needed anymore now that we have the SarcMark

1337xxxxxxxxxlolololololololololxxxxxxxxx1337 Posted:

I didn’t say no sex, I said no babies. Maybe they should fight each other to the death for a mate, though. That would be both entertaining and make room for children.

So what’s your plan for contraception? Morning after pill, or kill after birth?

Sarcasm Inc Posted:

So what’s your plan for contraception? Morning after pill, or kill after birth?

this:

: What if the doctor sterilized us all and the gardener grew hella weed? I think this would help with our psychological distress.

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