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Shock How to deal with the death of a close one?

****male reproductive organ_RAM-
BONE

Avatar: Spider Illustration

Level 12 Emo Kid

“Gloomy Gus”

I know this is a ****ty place to ask, but what is the best way to deal with the death of a close family friend? This man was like a grandfather to me, and he died of a heart-attack while driving. I really want to get over his death so I can actually be (relatively) happy again. Help? Log in to see images!

PhineasPoe

Avatar: 12179 2010-01-24 16:27:57 -0500
8

[70 Character Story-
tellers
]

Level 35 Troll

You got a smudge there Phin... oh wait thats Trouts feces

It just takes time. Try to keep yourself occupied. It’s not something you can force. Not a great answer, I know, but it’s the biggest part of it all.

****male reproductive organ_RAM-
BONE

Avatar: Spider Illustration

Level 12 Emo Kid

“Gloomy Gus”

Thanks Log in to see images!

dobnits

Avatar: 58842 2010-01-24 16:19:10 -0500
51

[The Scrotal Safety-
Commission
]

Level 69 Troll

THE LEGENDARY PINK DOBS

Its never easy, and it certainly takes time. But like Poe said, just try to carry on as best as you can, and keep yourself busy. He probably wouldn’t have wanted you to be upset, nobody ever does. I’m sorry for your loss, and hope you can come to terms with it eventually

mterek

Avatar: 192622 2009-09-24 16:39:01 -0400
18

[mahjong]

Level 69 Re-Re

$$$$$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$$$$$

Getting ****ed off helps.

It’s sort of weird, but a lot of people I know or my family knows have died in this past year, but one death I was able to get over very quickly because I was absolutely furious.

My godfather died a few months ago – he was in his 80’s and was preparing for his death for a good 4 years after coming back from a foreign country after contracting pneumonia there three times. So while it wasn’t as sudden a death as others have been, it was still a sad affair.

My godmother managed to erase all sadness in everyone else with her outrageously stupid antics. Like the rest of us, she was perhaps not sad with my godfather’s death as with another person, but she went out of her way to act hysterical. Literally, she howled like a dog with fits of screams, (crocodile) tears, and wails in the hospital ER for the better part of six hours, her theatre punctuated by delusional fits (like asking the nurse to cover my dead grandfather because his feet were getting cold).

It was not real grief. This is some overzealous cultural melodrama that’s popular in my homeland, so it’s 100% fake and everyone knew it except my godmother. Her antics terrified the kids that were waiting in the ward, and upset the other patients who were recovering as well. I suspect one of the men in an adjacent room was recovering from heart surgery, I mean really, do you want to scream about someone dying to someone just struggling to survive? And this went on for six hours.

I only got a small brunt of it – about 30 minutes. But I couldn’t take it either, and I, the nurses, and everyone else was royally ****ed off. It took my mother to push her out of the building, and we couldn’t calm her down even a few days after it. She’d shut up when nobody was listening, but as soon as she saw someone it was back to a baaaaaaaawstrom.

Then at the funeral. I didn’t go there because I was working, but apparently she was behaving there. News outlets were covering the funeral, and everyone made sure to prevent her from going near any camera. But once the news vans left, she erupted into another scene in front of a good 600 people, in public at a cemetery. Cue similar reactions to the hospital ward, although a good number of people were fooled by it.

Any sadness I might have felt was pretty much masked by rage at this embarrbumingly arsinine cultural outburst. Even now, my fingers are still trembling with fury at having to endure it.

****male reproductive organ_RAM-
BONE

Avatar: Spider Illustration

Level 12 Emo Kid

“Gloomy Gus”

mterek Posted:

Story

Oh god, that sounds horrible. I hope the **** gets what’s coming for her.

man-man

Avatar: 156485 2010-01-24 16:36:14 -0500
24

[Harem and Sushi Bar]

Level 69 Hacker

Selfish fine upstanding member of society

mterek Posted:

News outlets were covering the funeral

I have to ask, who do you have to be for the news to cover your funeral? Was your godfather… the Godfather?

Your godmother’s actions sound infuriating, seems almost disrespectful to the man to not maintain a little dignity through his pbuming. Even less respectful to the living who have to suffer through it…

gleebot

Avatar: Crying Painting
14

Level 69 Emo Kid

I feel pretty! Oh so pretty, and GAY!

you have to mourn. hard. even if only for a few hours one day. fill your head only with thoughts of your lost loved one. i prefer to spend moments like this alone, but surround yourself with like-feeling family members and friends if it helps you, and share with each other. focus on your grief and focus on all that his leaving will mean for you. focus on the tragedy first, then focus on all the fantastic memories and lessons he’s taught you. soon (or rather eventually) your feelings of anger and loss will begin to subside but all the love and warm memories will remain. it gets worse before it gets better; unfortunately, that cliche is very real.

i’m very sorry your friend died.

CrinkzPipe

Avatar: 35643 2011-12-11 17:25:30 -0500
8

[Harem and Sushi Bar]

Level 61 Emo Kid

Hi, I'm an adult whos into anime. ALSO male reproductive organS!

As Poe said, only time can help. When my grandfather died 3 years ago(He was basically the father figure in my life) I was one of the people who didn’t cry over it, but it didn’t mean it didn’t still hurt after awhile. But over time things got better.

Everybodykno-
ws

Avatar: Corset 2
14

[Sisterhood of the -
Quivering Rose
]

Level 30 Camwhore

“Courte-chan”

PhineasPoe Posted:

It just takes time. Try to keep yourself occupied. It’s not something you can force. Not a great answer, I know, but it’s the biggest part of it all.

And when possible try to think of good memories of them. I’ve had a number of close people die on me over the years. Time is the only thing that will really make it better.

I’m actually planning on celebrating Day of the Dead this year, because I’ve known enough people to have died over the years that I feel I need to celebrate their lives.

TUBSWEETIE

Avatar: 3450 2011-07-31 00:45:06 -0400
28

[And The Banned Pla-
yed On
]

Level 37 Troll

MY MEMORY IS THAT OF A SMALL GRAPE

this is a sad thread. it reminds me that nobody i care about has died yet and it’s coming soon.

Log in to see images!

Sergeant Cid

MODERATOR
Avatar: 167814 2011-07-31 00:46:27 -0400

[The Airship]

Level 35 Re-Re

Scientifically Proven Terrible fabulous person..... Evidence shows mbumive build up of semen deposit in bum.

There’s no right or wrong way to handle this kind of situation (other than avoiding self-destructive behavior).

Try and stay focused on the positive aspects of his life. Remember those good times,and share those stories with other people that knew him. Celebrate his life instead of simply mourning his death. But don’t fight the grief when it begins to affect you. Accept the pain as part of the healing process. It gets easier over time, but it never fully goes away.

Vageena Davis

Avatar: 151797 2010-01-24 16:34:00 -0500
29

[pizza party]

Level 69 Camwhore

I am easily offended. I also suck fine upstanding member of society male reproductive organs.

Sergeant Cid Posted:

There’s no right or wrong way to handle this kind of situation (other than avoiding self-destructive behavior).

Try and stay focused on the positive aspects of his life. Remember those good times,and share those stories with other people that knew him. Celebrate his life instead of simply mourning his death. But don’t fight the grief when it begins to affect you. Accept the pain as part of the healing process. It gets easier over time, but it never fully goes away.

This is p good advice, especially the parts about avoiding self destructive behavior and celebrating the person’s life instead of their death. Easier in theory than in practice, though.

A close friend of mine died a couple years ago and I still get sad from time to time, but it does get easier with time.

OverclockedJ-
esus

Avatar: 16071 2010-02-06 15:55:38 -0500
17

Level 69 Troll

“Human Yeast Infection”

****male reproductive organ_RAMBONE Posted:

I know this is a ****ty place to ask, but what is the best way to deal with the death of a close family friend? This man was like a grandfather to me, and he died of a heart-attack while driving. I really want to get over his death so I can actually be (relatively) happy again. Help? Log in to see images!

The closer the relation, the longer it takes. Time will eventually do the job, but it doesn’t always fully heal. It’s been a little over 8 years since my father died, and there are times when it hurts as if it was yesterday—though that happens not as often as it once did. Just know that grieving is natural. However long it takes for you is how long it takes. There is no magic number. There is no set time.

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