Mission name: There’s A Hole In My woman's genitals (Wait, That Is My woman's genitals)

Characters: Player 1 (who can totally be a woman)

Hygiene Jeannie

Synopsis: Player 1’s woman's genitals smells TERRIBLE and it turns out she’s been using it to store her check book, some mints, paper clips, a few handful of cotton balls, and her car’s license and registration (rookie mistake). Player 1 realizes this while they trying to pwn the forum Pastronauts (a forum for Italian astronauts) and can’t go on because of abdominal cramps or tender nipples or whatever (details to be researched/worked out).

You get a tubmail from Hygiene Jeannie and she leads you on a three mission arc about properly cleaning your woman's genitals. You have to take quizzes, there’s a fun little Match-3 type game where you have to match things your woman's genitals can smell like (fish, a summer rain shower, etc), and you have to pwn a group of forums that spread lies about woman's genitalsl hygiene (for instance: you can clean your woman's genitals with a toothbrush).

After you complete the missions you get an item (a shirt that says “Feeling Prideful About My Vag!” and it has a picture of a bunch of lions on it) and the “Today I Become A Woman” e-peen.

This would’ve put to rest all the arguments about sexism, but some people thought it was a little too respectful and empowering.

Recovered dialogue:

HYGIENE JEANNIE

Tell me, how do you do with the boys?

PLAYER 1

Okay, I guess. I mean, as a woman finding a man to take care of me is the most important thing in the world.

HYGIENE JEANNIE

As it should be. But, lately, have you been getting many dates?

PLAYER 1

No, but that can’t be because of how my genitals smell could it?

Even if it is bad, it couldn’t waft out from under the many pretty and expensive dresses I wear, could it?

HYGIENE JEANNIE

Lol, for someone who was born with a woman's genitals, you sure don’t know much about them!

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PLAYER 1

I don’t get it, Jeannie. If there’s moisture in my woman's genitals, why can’t I grow a potato in there?

HYGIENE JEANNIE

Because, silly girl, your uterus is for babies and sperm, not agriculture.

PLAYER 1

Ohhhhhh!

——————————————————-

HYGIENE JEANNIE

That’s why you should always run on the beach in white pants and smoke Virginia Slims!

———————————————

PLAYER 1

I was focusing on my career, but I suppose as I woman my sensuality should come first.

HYGIENE JEANNIE

Why not combine the two?

PLAYER 1

Hey, maybe I will.

PhineasPoe Posted:

PLAYER 1

Okay, I guess. I mean, as a woman finding a man to take care of me is the most important thing in the world.

ok, lemme just stop u here,

uh its actualy us that take care of U idiot

we gota clean up after your slob-bum & plus work jsut as much

if a man work 40 hrs, his wife work 40 hrs, she comes home & does all the hosework +childrearing anyways that she use to

basically, we are phasin you out with genetics & science. make your time

I did not contribute to this because I am excessively sexist.

PLAYER 1

i cant reach my balls over my distended nerd belly AND I GOTTA SCRATCH

SPERGIN VIRGIN

i dont hvae a woman to clean the shart lines from my underwares!

PLAYER 1

ooooooh **** ed beakman just scored a touchdown!@ my phantasy phootball WoW league is pwnt

SPERGIN VIRGIN

aagkgasdkfjkl;jsfffffsssssssss cantg escape affffafasfdsfsdf mountin dew cans fort just aaaaahghgghhghghg send helpffffffffff

PLAYER 1

a women would not have let that pile up ahahah bithces needa step off are backs and get in a kitchen!

PLAYER 1

hello..??

PHINUS 1

im so lonely

uh my alts on the team dued

well your a mod so ur basically dead to me

a health care profesional would tell u that that best way 2 take care of a vaginia is to simply shower ever day & only clean the outside

woman's genitals are like aself-cleaning oven

its just not very realiztic and you should reasearch before making medical claims