ChilePepino waited. The lights above him blinked and sparked out of the air. There

were demons in the base. He didn’t see them, but had expected them now for years. His

warnings to Cernel Joson were not listenend to and now it was too late. Far too late

for now, anyway.

Chile was a space marine for fourteen years. When he was young he watched the

spaceships and he said to dad “I want to be on the ships daddy.”

Dad said “No! You will BE KILL BY DEMONS”

There was a time when he believed him. Then as he got oldered he stopped. But now in

the space station base of the UAC he knew there were demons.

“This is Joson” the radio crackered. “You must fight the demons!”

So John gotted his palsma rifle and blew up the wall.

“HE GOING TO KILL US” said the demons

“I will shoot at him” said the cyberdemon and he fired the rocket missiles. Chile

plasmaed at him and tried to blew him up. But then the ceiling fell and they were

trapped and not able to kill.

“No! I must kill the demons” he shouted

The radio said “No, Chile. You are the demons”

And then Chile was a zombie.

==========

Seriously, though, here goes:

It had been a long night when Chile got home. He stumbled in, pale as a human face can get, that is to say, not snow-white, but not that far from it either, and locked the door, with the great urgency of a man who knew something was coming up fast behind him. Just as he leaned a chair against the door, there was a loud THUMP against the door.

Of course, one may ask himself what had happened up to this point. Chile wasn’t your average very special teen who goes into graveyards for kicks, so, if that’s the kind of story you’re expecting, I suggest you stop reading right now. Now, while it wasn’t Chile’s favorite pbum-time to spend the night in cemeteries, he was quite partial to binge drinking, which could explain his stutter.

Either way, Chile was sitting around at home, a beer cracked in his right hand, a fine cigarette in his left, when the phone rang. It was his best friend in the world, Dan, who called him out for a night on the town with a bunch of other guys. Chile agreed and they all decided to meet up at around 8 PM, which they did.

Now, the town they were all living in, Undisclosed, is a pretty small town with just a couple of bars open all night, so the guys pretty much had no choice and went to this place called Edgar’s Pub, that was a cheap rip-off of an Irish pub, you know the kind, with the bartender speaking with a phony Irish accent that’s so bad and overdone it’s not even funny.

So, once they got there, they ordered a round of pints and drank it in about an hour. Then came another round, and another, and another, and so on. At one point, it had gotten so bad that they didn’t really have room for any more pints on the table and had to start superposing them on the pints that were on the table. Like I said, this bar was a crummy place, with terrible service and nobody ever came to take the empty pints off the table while you were there.

At one point, Dan needed to go take a ****. and, as he got up, he managed to touch the table and, as a natural consequence, tip over all the pints, who fell on the floor with a loud crashing noise. Dan headed for the bathroom as the bartender, who insisted he’d be called Aiden, even though his name was Morty and everyone knew that, closed in on the table, like a hungry wolf.

“Hey, Morty!” Chile yelled, not realizing that Morty-Aiden was in a foul mood because of the broken pints. “Be a doll and get us another round, will ya’?”

At this point, Morty just sort of winced and started screaming at Chile, babbling incoherently that his boss would murder him in his sleep if he didn’t pay for the cups, and that his life was more precious than Chile’s, so he pulled out this huge hunting knife and started waving it around. Chile was pretty freaked out, by this point, and, looking around, he noticed a wine bottle on a nearby table. He broke it against the table and started threatening Morty-Aiden with it. By this point, the bar was completely empty, with everyone except Chile, Morty-Aiden and Dan, who was still taking a leak, having run away and Chile and Aiden circling each other.

Dan came out of the bathroom, finally, and walked in on this scene. Morty-Aiden took advantage of the diversion provided by Dan and pounced on Chile, trying to stab him in the throat, but Chile’s weapon was longer, therefore he managed to stab the fake Irishman before he was stabbed himself. As Morty-Aiden collapsed to the floor, the entire first floor of Edgar’s Pub got increasingly dim and cold.

As Chile and Dan were heading for the exit, they noticed a silhouette sitting in a corner and watching them. Chile started advancing towards the man and trying to explain that his killing “Maiden”, as he affectionately dubbed the psychotic bartender, was a complete accident. As he advanced towards the shadowy silhouette, it remained as obscure as before, but Chile noticed how it got colder and colder. He was trembling completely. The man wasn’t even dignifying him with a nod. Chile drew ever closer to the shadow, talking louder and louder, in order not to allow the glacial silence of the other to crush him. Chile was almost within arm’s reach of this shadowy man, when it let out a loud hiss and pounced towards him.

Luckily enough, Chile was pretty fast on his feet, so he turned and ran as fast as the shadow followed him. Dan started to move too, but he had way more to drink than Chile did, so he quickly fell behind. As the shadowy man pbumed him, Dan was just engulfed in darkness and wasn’t visible or audible any more. so happened with the entirety of Edgar’s Pub, which became a shadow, at first, and, after that, it just disappeared, as the two neighboring buildings drew closer to one another.

Chile was beginning to feel that his lungs would explode, were he to keep running like this for much longer. Fortunately, home was near. So he got to his apartment building, ran up a flight of stairs, then another, and finally, he came in front of his apartment door, which he unlocked as fast as he could, while the shade was ever closing in, sucking all the life out of everything it pbumed by, when Chile finally managed to get into his apartment, closed the door behind him, and, as he was stacking up a chair in front of it, he heard a loud THUMP.

I don’t remember. I didn’t actually read any of the stories.

**** off.

http://www.forumwarz.com/discussions/view_post/745144

I need confirmation from was that quangntenemy is the winner before I can close out this contest.

miss you was bye

point taken. Good contest. I didn’t read any of the entries either.

sdgrbbum09 Posted:

I’d like 4 bags of oranges please.

I’ll bring you back a few bags from Tijuana.

Chawin Posted:

you could’ve just done the ban and not been a complete bumhat.

You mean, just ban him and not explain why I banned him? Sure, I could have done that, but that would have been more ‘bumhatish’.