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i’m gay for jesus christ

TOO MUCH STUFF

TOO MUCH STUFF

I’VE GOT TOO MUCH STUFF

TOO MUCH STUFF

TOO MUCH STUFF

I’VE GOT TOO MUCH STUFF

A LITTLE CALCULATOR IN MY COMPUTER MACHINE

A DOCTOR WITH A RUBBER GLOVE THAT KEEPS MY bumHOLE CLEAN

A THING I GOT IN AUSTRIA THAT PULLS HAIRS OUT MY NOSE

A GIANT PIECE OF WOOD THAT’S FORMED TO KEEP TRACK OF MY CLOTHES

(CHORUS)

A CAR WITH WHEELS THAT SUCKS MY LIFE BECAUSE IT NEVER MOVES

A male reproductive organ THAT WILL HELP ME WITH THE TAMING OF THE SHREWS

A LITTLE BOAT WITH BELLS ON IT OH WHO COULD ASK FOR MORE

I’LL SAIL MY SHOP ACROSS THE SEAS AND **** EXOTIC WHORES

I’VE SO MUCH STUFF

THAT I CAN’T SEE MY STUFF

BUT HERE ARE SOME PRINTS BY A GUY NAMED HEIRONYMOUS

I’M ADDICTED-ADDICTED TO STUFF

MAYBE I SHOULD GO TO “STUFF ANONYMOUS”

(CHORUS)

A WEIRD POTATO PEELER THAT FILLS AN ENTIRE ROOM

A WARDROBE TRUNK THAT’S DENSELY PACKED WITH MOLDY PANTALOONS

A SAVAGE GIANT NARWHAL WITH A LACERATED SPLEEN

A MOLDY TRUSS ONCE WORN BY FREDDY MERCURY OF QUEEN

BANANA BREAD, ETRUSCAN HEAD, A SHOE ONCE LICKED BY GOD

A BUNCH OF STINKY BAND-AIDS ROLLED UP IN A SMELLY CLOD

THE DARK COMMAND OF SAURON AND A FACE THAT SWARMS WITH BEES…

I’D GIVE IT ALL YOU KNOW IF I COULD FIND MY ****ING KEYS!

Team Shortbus is great cuz thye gang-enjoy me evrinite in new and xciting ways. Also cuz evry membr rides the Shortbus!

A number of incidents have taken place in the last several weeks which have troubled many members of our community. I urge you to read the text that follows carefully, keeping an open mind, from the beginning to the end, and without skipping around. I further recommend that you take breaks, as many of the facts presented will take time to digest. In such a brief letter as this, I certainly cannot refute all the slogans of the most destructive vulgarians you’ll ever see but perhaps I can brush away some of their most deliberate and flagrant scribblings. To simplify, I recently heard Team Shortbus tell a bunch of people that truculent meddlesome-types (especially the misinformed type) are inherently good, sensitive, creative, and inoffensive. I can’t adequately describe my first reaction to this notion; I simply don’t know how to represent uncontrollable laughter in text.

The foregoing analysis is self-evident even if it is sometimes overlooked. Less evident are the specific ways in which we should invigorate the effort to reach solutions by increasing the scope of the inquiry rather than by narrowing or abandoning it. Team Shortbus’s insinuations are a threat to the freedoms enjoyed by all free citizens of the world. And let me tell you, Team Shortbus has been offering neurotic clueless-types a lot of money to plague our minds. This is blood money, plain and simple. Anyone thinking of accepting it should realize that when a mistake is made, the smart thing to do is to admit it and reverse course. That takes real courage. The way that Team Shortbus stubbornly refuses to own up to its mistakes serves only to convince me that an armed revolt against it is morally justified. However, I profess that it is not yet strategically justified.

It is not news that Team Shortbus advertises its strict morality solely to shift attention away from its many vices. What speaks volumes, though, is that if I were elected Ruler of the World, my first act of business would be to shatter the adage that ghastly mafia dons aren’t ever muzzy-headed. I would further use my position to inform certain segments of the Earth’s population that when Team Shortbus is gone, all that will be left from its legacy of hate is the hate itself. I mean, think about it. The bottom line is that I have put this letter before you, without any gain to myself, because I care.

It is pretty re-re-ish huh? Though I am increasingly saddened by TSB’s inability to find anything without expletives, racial slurs, or bigotry funny. You all do seem to belong together. You all have the same limited sense of comedic value.

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The Cheat Posted:

It is pretty re-re-ish huh? Though I am increasingly saddened by TSB’s inability to find anything without expletives, racial slurs, or bigotry funny. You all do seem to belong together. You all have the same limited sense of comedic value.

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you use a reply generator and then expect to be praised on your higher intelligence?

honestly?

get the **** out

Veer Posted:

you use a reply generator and then expect to be praised on your higher intelligence?

honestly?

get the **** out

Actually I said it was a very special response, yo. And yes it is pre generated, I didn’t want to put too much effort into the pointless task of bringing you guys into the light. I hope your egos swell with the flaming of my posts, I really do. Honestly…

The Cheat Posted:

Actually I said it was a very special response, yo. And yes it is pre generated, I didn’t want to put too much effort into the pointless task of bringing you guys into the light. I hope your egos swell with the flaming of my posts, I really do. Honestly…

oh my god let’s copy paste up in the this ****

I was talking to the cheat and my mom got scared

and said you’re movin’ with your auntie and uncle in Bel-Air

I begged and pleaded with her day after day

but she packed my suitcase and sent me on my way

she give me a kiss and then she gave me my ticket

put my walkman on and said I might as well kick it

first clbum yo this is bad

drinkin’ orange juice out of a champagne glbum

is this what the people of Bel-Air live like

hmmm this might be all right

but wait I hear they’re prissy ???? and all that

is this the type of place that they should send this cool cat

I don’t think so I’ll see when I get there

I hope they’re prepared for the prince of Bel-Air

well uh the plane landed and when I came out

there was a dude looked like a cop standin’ there with my name out

I ain’t tryin’ to get arrested yet I just got here

I sprang with the quickness like lightening disappeared

I whistled for a cab and when it came near

the license plate said fresh and it had dice in the mirror

if anything I could say that this cab was rare

but I thought man forget it yo homes to Bel-Air

I pulled up to the house about 7 or 8

and I yelled to the cabbie yo homes smell ya later

looked at my kingdom I was finally there

to sit on my throne as the prince of Bel-Air

guys

tomorrow

The Cheat Posted:

It is pretty re-re-ish huh? Though I am increasingly saddened by TSB’s inability to find anything without expletives, racial slurs, or bigotry funny. You all do seem to belong together. You all have the same limited sense of comedic value.

u Log in to see images!

DEAR PEEP OR CHICKEN OR WHATEVER IT IS THAT MARKS YOU:

I WILL HAVE YOU KNOW THAT THIS SOCIETY IS FILLED WITH GOOD AND HONORABLE MEN WHO SERVED THEIR COUNTRY IN THE VARIOUS WARS AGAINST COMMUNISM THAT OUR GREAT LAND HAS BEEN INVOLVED IN FOR THE LAST SEVENTY YEARS. I DO NOT WISH TO BRAG ABOUT MY OWN SERVICE IN THE KOREAN WAR WHERE I PERSONALLY TOOK A BULLET FOR GENERAL DOUGLAS A. MACARTHUR BUT RATHER WOULD FOCUS UPON THE GREAT HUMAN BEINGS SUCH AS SGT. BRAD OLIVER PREY, WHO I BELIEVE LOST HIS LEGS TO A MINE WHILE TRYING TO SAVE VIETNAM FROM THE COMMIES, OR LT. ONCAKES, WHO PERSONALLY SAVED AT LEAST THREE DOCTORAL STUDENTS DURING OUR HARROWING INVASION OF GRENADA.

STATING THAT YOU FIND OUR SOCIETY FILLED WITH PEOPLE WHO LIKE CHICKENS AT A TIME WHEN YOU YOURSELF HOLD YOURSELF BEHIND A YELLOW – YELLOW I REMIND YOU – BIRD THING INDICATES WHO THE TRUE CHICKENS ARE HERE, AND WHO ARE THE TRUE COMMIE-FIGHTING PATRIOTS. AND FOR YOUR INFORMATION, I AM SENDING A COPY OF THIS LETTER TO THE ST. PETERSBURG TIMES SO THAT EVERYONE WILL KNOW OF YOUR HYPOCRISY AND COWARDICE AS SOON AS THEY GET AROUND TO PRINTING THE THREE OTHER LETTERS THAT I HAVE SENT THEM THIS WEEK.

IN SUMMARY: COMMUNISM IS THE GRAVEST THREAT THIS COUNTRY HAS EVER KNOW, AND THE SHORTBUS STANDS ARM IN ARM WITH JOE MCCARTHY IN FIGHTING OFF STALIN AND KRUSCHEV WHILE YOU BURN FLAGS AND BRAS. MAY GEORGE WASHINGTON – WHO IS CURRENTLY CRYING IN HEAVEN OVER YOUR ACTIONS – FIND IT WITHIN HIS HEART TO FORGIVE YOU.

SINCERELY,

GERALD F. CULBERTSON SR., (RET. SGT)