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Video Games Can someone summarise the storyline of FF7 for me?

Inertia

Avatar: 60995 Fri Apr 03 12:59:05 -0400 2009
34

[Shii is gay]

Level 35 Troll

also wow i have no male reproductive organ

Like, what is Sephiroth actually, and Cloud, and Zack, and what is going on in this game in general and why is sephiroth still alive in advent children after i beat him in the final battle

NeoVid

Avatar: 174653 Fri May 22 01:54:45 -0400 2009
13

[WeChall]

Level 63 Troll

“Flame Retarded”

Summarizing the whole thing… yeah, not happening. Your specific questions, I can give a short version of:

Seph, Cloud and Zack were all subjects of genetic experiments using Jenova, which was an alien creature, not really compatible with creatures from the planet. Seph was so changed that he was influenced into being Jenova’s servant, and Cloud was affected to lesser degree. As for Advent Children, Sephiroth is dead, but his life force got into the Lifestream, same as everything else that dies on the planet, and was called out by his clone followers.

Long version… go to Gamefaqs or something.

Inertia

Avatar: 60995 Fri Apr 03 12:59:05 -0400 2009
34

[Shii is gay]

Level 35 Troll

also wow i have no male reproductive organ

Yo I just defeated both Emerald and Ruby weapon today what else is there to do?

CrinkzPipe

Avatar: 35643 2015-02-20 21:59:22 -0500
10

[Harem and Sushi Bar]

Level 62 Emo Kid

Hi, I'm an adult whos into bumes. But not boners!

Inertia Posted:

Yo I just defeated both Emerald and Ruby weapon today what else is there to do?

Can’t you like get a golden chocobo or something.

Inertia

Avatar: 60995 Fri Apr 03 12:59:05 -0400 2009
34

[Shii is gay]

Level 35 Troll

also wow i have no male reproductive organ

CrinkzPipe Posted:

Can’t you like get a golden chocobo or something.

i got that long before defeating these 2 though

(it got me the KotR materia that i used to defeat them)

Inertia edited this message on 09/13/2009 11:10PM

Inertia

Avatar: 60995 Fri Apr 03 12:59:05 -0400 2009
34

[Shii is gay]

Level 35 Troll

also wow i have no male reproductive organ

what else is there i’ll try defeating Ozma in FF9 next i guess

The planet’s dying, Cloud!

ChilePepino

Avatar: 101005 2010-01-24 16:17:40 -0500
5

[Full of SbumSS]

Level 35 Permanoob

Well, spf357 really rocks.

you can also try playing pre ff7 ff games, those are better.

Inertia

Avatar: 60995 Fri Apr 03 12:59:05 -0400 2009
34

[Shii is gay]

Level 35 Troll

also wow i have no male reproductive organ

ChilePepino Posted:

you can also try playing pre ff7 ff games, those are better.

those games tend to frustrate me Log in to see images!

(I’ve beaten most of them anyway (by cheating))

Cloud, your head looks like a chocobo! Log in to see images!

Inertia

Avatar: 60995 Fri Apr 03 12:59:05 -0400 2009
34

[Shii is gay]

Level 35 Troll

also wow i have no male reproductive organ

I played Dirge of Cerberus

why is this game so boring

CrinkzPipe

Avatar: 35643 2015-02-20 21:59:22 -0500
10

[Harem and Sushi Bar]

Level 62 Emo Kid

Hi, I'm an adult whos into bumes. But not boners!

Inertia Posted:

I played Dirge of Cerberus

why is this game so boring

Because awesome characters need boring games I guess.

nTerra

Avatar: 58905 Mon Oct 27 17:12:24 -0400 2008
9

Level 29 Camwhore

“Playmate of the Month”

The world is **** but you can’t know why because the FF timeline is ****ed. It’s definitely not a hackneyed message about environmentalism!
It totally is.
CLOUDLog in to see images!: Durr hurr I am the protaganist. You know because I’m the prettiest boy and have the craziest hair. I’m definitely NOT an ecoterrorist! To enforce this I’m going to raid a manufactory supplying the city with power.
ALL THE GUARDS DIELog in to see images!
Log in to see images!:lol how do i shutted off reactor properly?
Log in to see images!
Log in to see images!:TEAM AVALANCHE IS BLASTING OFF AGAAAIIIN
AERISLog in to see images!: Durr hurr love interest, stage left!
Log in to see images!:You are a woman. I will protect you.
Log in to see images!: I am ambivalent.
SHINRALog in to see images!: lol I found you
Entire sector dies, only three of our terroriststraitorscomrades heroes perish.
Log in to see images!: I’m taking your girlfriend too, kthnx
Log in to see images! Oh no I am a failure. Shouldn’t worry myself though.
Log in to see images!: BTW I’m an elf hippy god and the last of my kind.
WRITERSLog in to see images!: WE ARE SO ****ING CLEVER
Log in to see images!: k I’ll save you

Log in to see images! Bring me to the Promised Land.
Log in to see images!: I am ambivalent.
SEPHIROTHLog in to see images! Shinra!
Log in to see images!: We saved you, Aeris, now let’s GTFO!
Rufus Shinra, who was Shinra’s brotherSonLog in to see images! Guess I’m the company head now!
Log in to see images!:Sephiroth has the girliest hair, that means he is the bad guy.
Log in to see images!:If the world is significantly damaged, the Lifestream within will gather in an attempt to heal the wound. I intend to use a powerful spell called “Meteor” to fatally injure the planet, inciting a reaction in the Lifestream to safeguard the planet. I can then merge with all of the planet’s energy, becoming a god and ruling over the planet!
Log in to see images!: **** u crazy
Log in to see images!: I think he might cast Meteor on the planet!
Log in to see images!: ...
Log in to see images!: Even though I wasn’t strong enough to protect myself from faceless goons I’m going to go on my own to confront a man so powerful that he destroyed their entire base and the man that kidnapped me!
AVALANCHE follows Aeris to the north. Presumably because they already bombed all the power plants in the immediate area.
Log in to see images!: Oh dear! It seems I’ve fallen and my sword pierced you, elf-whore!
Log in to see images!: I’m ambivalent.
Log in to see images!
TIFALog in to see images! You still have me, girly-boy!
Log in to see images!: Shut up, baby, I know it.
Log in to see images!: You’re a clone baby.
Log in to see images!
Log in to see images!: Hey, my dad kept a space alien at the headquarters that got blown up. It turned all the elf-hippy-gods into monsters with a plague and the planet created giant monsters called… WEAPONs!!
Log in to see images!: SO. ****ING. CLEVER.
Log in to see images!Okay this is getting stupid.
Log in to see images!:Also, I’m a clone baby made from that space alien implanted into an unborn fetus.
Log in to see images!: ...
Log in to see images!: He’s lying to you. Probably. I don’t have any proof or anything.
And then Cloud hands over the material component needed to cast Meteor, effectively dooming the planet, because he’s an emo ****head.
Meanwhile!
Log in to see images!: Fighting WEAPONs is hard!
And then after!
THE REST OF AVALANCHELog in to see images! We found you at this tropical resort! How awful! Let’s take you back to the cold north wher—
And then the planet splits open and Woman-man and ****mammary glands fall into the energy thing.
Log in to see images!:Whoops! Turns out all of your memories are the ones of your best friend who you completely forgot about! Sorry for never telling you! Also, you aren’t a clone baby after all!
Log in to see images!: We put alien DNA in you and that’s why you act like a ****head. Sephiroth can control you with mind powers or some ****. You fought him before and you both lost and it was part of a government cover-up.
Log in to see images!: MORE TWISTS THAN A DUCK’S male reproductive organ.
Log in to see images!: Let’s team up for an ill-defined reason but probably related to the world ending, even though we diametrically oppose each other with our every ideal!
And then the WEAPONs are defeated.
PROFESSOR HOJOLog in to see images!: BTW I’m Sephiroth’s biological father. Yes, I gave up my unborn child to my boss so he could do unproven experiments on it.
Log in to see images!
Log in to see images!: Also I’m going to help him destroy and enslave the world.
Log in to see images!:...
Log in to see images!: Whoops! I’ve caught the dead.
Log in to see images!: You will never defeat me, ecoterrorists!
Log in to see images!: Power of friendship and love or something! Die monster, you do not belong to this world!
Log in to see images!: Perhaps the same could be said of ALL half-alien sociopathic telepaths with one angel wing! But enough talk! Have at you!
Two Hours Later
Log in to see images!: Whoops! I’ve caught the dead.
The meteor then crashes into the city, Midgar, and destroys it completely. The planet saves ITSELF from the Meteor. 500 years later, there’s nothing but plants growing at the place a mighty city of man once stood.

I think the movie is a prequel but I’ve never seen it so I’m not sure.
nTerra edited this message on 10/10/2009 3:30AM

****male reproductive organ_RAM-
BONE

Avatar: Spider Illustration

Level 12 Emo Kid

“Gloomy Gus”

Angst, a black guy, and a dude that has his mom’s head hanging around with him.

Any questions?

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