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|Win a peen and 3 BP! OFFICIAL EPISODE 3 VOICE OF FORUMWARZ AUDITIONS|
Good evening ladies and gentlemen.
Gentlemen, be sure to use lotion to quell those raging erections. Ladies, don’t hesitate to rub those love bumons. We can’t let my perfectly engineered sexy go to waste, now can we? How else will more children be born to serve our wondrous world?
But I, I was not born. NO! I exist for one purpose, and one purpose alone.
Oh. Never mind. I’ve just been informed that, apparently, my purpose is to hold auditions for Tubsonic voices for Episode 3!
Grab yourself a microphone and we’ll get down to business.
So as to avoid spoilers as to which characters will get Tubsonics, I am going to provide a list of archetype voice types we can use in the third post of this thread, along with brief snippets of monologue for you to read. Bear in mind, these snippets of dialogue are made up and do not reflect any actual characters from the game, upcoming or existing. You are encouraged to come up with a character type that is not listed here and you feel could be appropriate for Forumwarz, and you are also encouraged to go off-script in these entries, so long as it’s funny. You are also encouraged to come up with entries for existing characters if there is one you particularly like.
I would like one entry per player/account. Mods will check to ensure that you do not attempt to enter more than once. Each entry may contain up to five characterizations (improvised, listed below or any combination of the two), but should not go over two minutes.
Say your main’s character name very clearly at the start of the recording. Then say which characters you plan to read, and any other game character you like or would enjoy reading for.
I will select the top entries and correspond with them for further instructions. Tubmail a link to your entries to me (Jalapeno FortyHole). You can host them at Mediafire. If you want to host them somewhere else, feel free, but I’m not likely to spend more than a few TMs back and forth sorting out where it’s hosted. See the “useful links” section at the bottom. I’ve got a lot of sound effects, filters and manipulation tools at my disposal, so don’t try to show off by editing your entry like crazy; this is about the voice, not the tricks you can do in audacity.
Upon completion and acceptance of their message, each of those selected will receive 3 BP and all that are used in the final cut a special E-peen indicating they provided the voice for an in-game Tubsonic.
If selected, you will be asked to agree to a spoiler agreement similar to that agreed to by the apprentices.
No trolling, posting for commentary is allowed, but please don’t spam this thread up.
http://www.mediafire.com/index.php (media hosting)
http://www.archive.org/index.php (media hosting)
http://audacity.sourceforge.net/ (freeware recording software)
Edit: End date. I forgot to add an end date. End date is August 29th, next Saturday, at midnight server time.
Edit 2: banned players may submit by proxy if they are able.
Edit 3: this will take time, guys, just recognize that this process won’t be overnight. You’ll need to record it, and there might be several takes ultimately, then we add any after effects we need to and then you get the peen once ep3 comes out. So just be aware that it could be a few months before you get the peen, although the beeps will be delivered pretty quickly.Jalapeno FortyHole edited this message on 08/25/2009 9:26AM
|Posted On: 08/19/2009 8:07PM||View Jalapeno FortyHo...'s Profile | #|
Jalapeno FortyHole Posted:
|Posted On: 08/19/2009 8:08PM||View Jalapeno FortyHo...'s Profile | #|
My uncle Donald says that we can go the happy room when he’s watching me during my parents’ vacation. I’m so happy about the happy room. I love the happy room. I wonder what he has in the happy room? I hope it’s a fun place to go. Do you think the happy room will have teddy bears and rainbows in it? Uncle Donald says it will be full of magic and that he’ll help fill me up with magic when we go there.
I like the way you smell, sometimes. When you sweat, you get this sheen on your hair and I kinda want to touch it. Can I touch it? Oh god, I’m sorry, I mean I just want to think about what you’re like when you work out, I think it’s really sexy when you work out. You get into those light blue shorts and that purple sports bra.
Kids don’t appreciate okra. When I was young, we ate okra and liked it. Okra grows everywhere, and these lousy kids don’t appreciate it. Too slimy, they say. Well it’s not too slimy. And that’s all there is to it.
God, Tiffany is such a ****. What-ever. See if I ever talk to her again. Let’s like, tape her to the flagpole and teach her a lesson. Then I’ll spread a rumor that she’s got herpes and she gave it to derek. Who cares if it’s true? Everyone’s gonna believe it because I said it anyway. So then, like, I went to the mall and hot topic was out of black eyeshadow AGAIN! Dammit! I had to do my eyeliner with a ballpoint pen! It took HOURS and my eyes are starting to itch!
Did you ever get an itch behind your eyeball that you had to dig out with a spoon? I have, man. That’s the kind of ingenuity that keeps America running strong. No rest for the inventor, no sir. you just keep moving and keep pushing through even though they tell you you should stop and that you’re a danger to others WELL **** THEM AND **** YOU TOO MOTHER****
We know how to treat a guest! Cuz, why don’t you break out the crawdad cooker, I’ll pull some legs off o’ them frogs all over the bayou, we’ll fry up some snails n’ red beans, be delicious I guarantee! Why, I’ll take you fishin’ in the gulf o’ mexico! Jump over the side, swim on down to the bottom of the bayou, catch yourself a alligator, clean ‘im, we’ll have supper fryin’ before you know it! All with that authentic blend of spices. Sea salt, ground varmint, deadly nightshade powder, peach pits, and some o’ that tar from the roadside. Stole it from a construction crew.
Good evening! Have you ever wanted a way to read and drive at the same time? Well now you can! Just order the DriveReader Four thousand by dialing the number at the bottom of your screen! Yes, the Drivereader four thousand is fully customizable,and is completely opaque so that when it’s in front of your face as you’re driving down the highway, you can make out every word. War and peace? More like Snore and peace! But not with the Drivereader Four Thousand! Hurry, operators are standing by!
Burnt-out Rock Star
Hey, is this thing on? That’s ****in incredible. I… uh. I forgot what I was gonna ask about. Uh. So. Why did you call me? What do you mean I called you? You called me. Oh right, this was about my appearance at the mall opening oh. Can you get me some yellow margarine for it? I want to rub it on my leather jacket. I do that every tuesday. I wish you wouldn’t ask why, it’s really my business.
Did I ever tell you about the time I happened to come across my old acquaintance Reginald Bullworthington? I have? Well every good story needs a retelling…or several! So I was attending a makeshift debutante ball, or as she called it, a Sweet Sixteen, of my niece on my darling wifes less than affluent side, though i harumph at the notion of such a celebration of such an occasion without much cause for “partying”, as you commonfolk put it. Why, by the time I was sixteen I had already made my first million! But I do digress, my apologies…
Hey, little nephew! This internet thing sure is fun! I just spent the last three hours looking at cats! Everyone’s cats are so cute! Oh! Oh my! I just clicked a link to wet woman's genitals and it wasn’t at all what I expected. Oh my. Oh my. She looks like she won’t really have a problem having a child like your uncle Charley, he only weighed a pound when he came out. We had him on life support for three months!
TIPS AND HINTS
I will have A LOT of mail to go through. Follow the format as described above. Don’t think that adding another five minutes to your two minute improv will make me like it more. It will just make me turn it off sooner. Again, I’d like to emphasize that this is about acting and your voice, so please select characters you know you would sound good for before you pick characters you would enjoy reading. Be thoughtful and put care into your entry. Above all, I will have a lot to sort through, so try not to take it too hard if you’re not selected.Jalapeno FortyHole edited this message on 08/19/2009 8:13PM
|Posted On: 08/19/2009 8:09PM||View Jalapeno FortyHo...'s Profile | #|
Arg, if only I had a mic. Log in to see images!
|Posted On: 08/19/2009 8:22PM||View CrinkzPipe's Profile | #|
Reckon it’s time to but myself a microphone.
|Posted On: 08/19/2009 8:30PM||View Sarcasm Inc's Profile | #|
I am SO ****ING DOING THIS.
Rocky Horror’s on hold. Sorry, girls.
|Posted On: 08/19/2009 9:37PM||View MC Banhammer's Profile | #|
I’ll probably try this.
|Posted On: 08/19/2009 9:39PM||View Johnny Mac's Profile | #|
I can imagine what I’d want some of these to sound like, but I don’t know how well I could recreate that into a mic. Also I don’t particularly like listening to my own voice from a recording… something about it always sounds wrong.
Well, we will see.
|Posted On: 08/19/2009 9:42PM||View man-man's Profile | #|
Definately in on this one!
|Posted On: 08/19/2009 9:45PM||View dobnits's Profile | #|
whoa omg should I enter I don’t knowFortunato edited this message on 08/19/2009 9:50PM
|Posted On: 08/19/2009 9:50PM||View Fortunato's Profile | #|
Well duh of course you should!
|Posted On: 08/19/2009 10:05PM||View MC Banhammer's Profile | #|
Snobbish Character! I said it first
|Posted On: 08/19/2009 10:26PM||View Aldo_Anything's Profile | #|
Sorry good sir, but i DO believe that one is mine.
|Posted On: 08/19/2009 10:41PM||View dobnits's Profile | #|
someone should enter ethnic accents hint hint hint
|Posted On: 08/19/2009 10:52PM||View Fort Naruto's Profile | #|
|Posted On: 08/19/2009 10:56PM||View Bandaney's Profile | #|
The results will be even more…interesting.
|Posted On: 08/19/2009 11:04PM||View Sarcasm Inc's Profile | #|
E #3: Ok I finally found a mic & will record whatever I feel sounds good IMO.AntiRules187 edited this message on 08/23/2009 5:14PM
|Posted On: 08/19/2009 11:16PM||View AntiRules187's Profile | #|
Oh I’m sure we can clear up this little misunderstanding. As I declared myself
|Posted On: 08/19/2009 11:17PM||View Aldo_Anything's Profile | #|
I would so do the young boy and young girl if I had the mic.
|Posted On: 08/20/2009 1:49AM||View CrinkzPipe's Profile | #|
Thanks for the open casting call – now which ones should I audition for…hmmmmmm… 0_oAsuka424 edited this message on 08/20/2009 3:11AM
|Posted On: 08/20/2009 3:10AM||View Asuka424's Profile | #|