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Audio Win a peen and 3 BP! OFFICIAL EPISODE 3 VOICE OF FORUMWARZ AUDITIONS

Jalapeno For-
tyHole

Avatar: 204296 Wed Aug 19 19:38:25 -0400 2009

Level 1 Re-Re

Good evening ladies and gentlemen.

My name…

is…

Jalapeno FortyHole

Gentlemen, be sure to use lotion to quell those raging erections. Ladies, don’t hesitate to rub those love bumons. We can’t let my perfectly engineered sexy go to waste, now can we? How else will more children be born to serve our wondrous world?

But I, I was not born. NO! I exist for one purpose, and one purpose alone.

TO DANCE

...

wait what?

Oh. Never mind. I’ve just been informed that, apparently, my purpose is to hold auditions for Tubsonic voices for Episode 3!

Grab yourself a microphone and we’ll get down to business.

So as to avoid spoilers as to which characters will get Tubsonics, I am going to provide a list of archetype voice types we can use in the third post of this thread, along with brief snippets of monologue for you to read. Bear in mind, these snippets of dialogue are made up and do not reflect any actual characters from the game, upcoming or existing. You are encouraged to come up with a character type that is not listed here and you feel could be appropriate for Forumwarz, and you are also encouraged to go off-script in these entries, so long as it’s funny. You are also encouraged to come up with entries for existing characters if there is one you particularly like.

I would like one entry per player/account. Mods will check to ensure that you do not attempt to enter more than once. Each entry may contain up to five characterizations (improvised, listed below or any combination of the two), but should not go over two minutes.

Say your main’s character name very clearly at the start of the recording. Then say which characters you plan to read, and any other game character you like or would enjoy reading for.

I will select the top entries and correspond with them for further instructions. Tubmail a link to your entries to me (Jalapeno FortyHole). You can host them at Mediafire. If you want to host them somewhere else, feel free, but I’m not likely to spend more than a few TMs back and forth sorting out where it’s hosted. See the “useful links” section at the bottom. I’ve got a lot of sound effects, filters and manipulation tools at my disposal, so don’t try to show off by editing your entry like crazy; this is about the voice, not the tricks you can do in audacity.

Upon completion and acceptance of their message, each of those selected will receive 3 BP and all that are used in the final cut a special E-peen indicating they provided the voice for an in-game Tubsonic.

If selected, you will be asked to agree to a spoiler agreement similar to that agreed to by the apprentices.

No trolling, posting for commentary is allowed, but please don’t spam this thread up.

Useful Links:

http://www.mediafire.com/index.php (media hosting)

http://www.archive.org/index.php (media hosting)

http://audacity.sourceforge.net/ (freeware recording software)

Edit: End date. I forgot to add an end date. End date is August 29th, next Saturday, at midnight server time.

Edit 2: banned players may submit by proxy if they are able.

Edit 3: this will take time, guys, just recognize that this process won’t be overnight. You’ll need to record it, and there might be several takes ultimately, then we add any after effects we need to and then you get the peen once ep3 comes out. So just be aware that it could be a few months before you get the peen, although the beeps will be delivered pretty quickly.

Jalapeno FortyHole edited this message on 08/25/2009 9:26AM

Jalapeno For-
tyHole

Avatar: 204296 Wed Aug 19 19:38:25 -0400 2009

Level 1 Re-Re

Jalapeno FortyHole Posted:

Good evening ladies and gentlemen.

My name…

is…

Jalapeno FortyHole

Gentlemen, be sure to use lotion to quell those raging erections. Ladies, don’t hesitate to rub those love bumons. We can’t let my perfectly engineered sexy go to waste, now can we? How else will more children be born to serve our wondrous world?

But I, I was not born. NO! I exist for one purpose, and one purpose alone.

TO DANCE

...

wait what?

Oh. Never mind. I’ve just been informed that, apparently, my purpose is to hold auditions for Tubsonic voices for Episode 3!

Grab yourself a microphone and we’ll get down to business.

So as to avoid spoilers as to which characters will get Tubsonics, I am going to provide a list of archetype voice types we can use in the third post of this thread, along with brief snippets of monologue for you to read. Bear in mind, these snippets of dialogue are made up and do not reflect any actual characters from the game, upcoming or existing. You are encouraged to come up with a character type that is not listed here and you feel could be appropriate for Forumwarz, and you are also encouraged to go off-script in these entries, so long as it’s funny. You are also encouraged to come up with entries for existing characters if there is one you particularly like.

I would like one entry per player/account. Mods will check to ensure that you do not attempt to enter more than once. Each entry may contain up to five characterizations (improvised, listed below or any combination of the two), but should not go over two minutes.

Say your main’s character name very clearly at the start of the recording. Then say which characters you plan to read, and any other game character you like or would enjoy reading for.

I will select the top entries and correspond with them for further instructions. Tubmail a link to your entries to me (Jalapeno FortyHole). You can host them at Mediafire. If you want to host them somewhere else, feel free, but I’m not likely to spend more than a few TMs back and forth sorting out where it’s hosted. See the “useful links” section at the bottom. I’ve got a lot of sound effects, filters and manipulation tools at my disposal, so don’t try to show off by editing your entry like crazy; this is about the voice, not the tricks you can do in audacity.

Upon completion and acceptance of their message, each of those selected will receive 3 BP and all that are used in the final cut a special E-peen indicating they provided the voice for an in-game Tubsonic.

If selected, you will be asked to agree to a spoiler agreement similar to that agreed to by the apprentices.

No trolling, posting for commentary is allowed, but please don’t spam this thread up.

Useful Links:

http://www.mediafire.com/index.php (media hosting)

http://www.archive.org/index.php (media hosting)

http://audacity.sourceforge.net/ (freeware recording software)

Jalapeno For-
tyHole

Avatar: 204296 Wed Aug 19 19:38:25 -0400 2009

Level 1 Re-Re

Child

My uncle Donald says that we can go the happy room when he’s watching me during my parents’ vacation. I’m so happy about the happy room. I love the happy room. I wonder what he has in the happy room? I hope it’s a fun place to go. Do you think the happy room will have teddy bears and rainbows in it? Uncle Donald says it will be full of magic and that he’ll help fill me up with magic when we go there.

Creepy man

I like the way you smell, sometimes. When you sweat, you get this sheen on your hair and I kinda want to touch it. Can I touch it? Oh god, I’m sorry, I mean I just want to think about what you’re like when you work out, I think it’s really sexy when you work out. You get into those light blue shorts and that purple sports bra.

Old Man

Kids don’t appreciate okra. When I was young, we ate okra and liked it. Okra grows everywhere, and these lousy kids don’t appreciate it. Too slimy, they say. Well it’s not too slimy. And that’s all there is to it.

Young Woman

God, Tiffany is such a ****. What-ever. See if I ever talk to her again. Let’s like, tape her to the flagpole and teach her a lesson. Then I’ll spread a rumor that she’s got herpes and she gave it to derek. Who cares if it’s true? Everyone’s gonna believe it because I said it anyway. So then, like, I went to the mall and hot topic was out of black eyeshadow AGAIN! Dammit! I had to do my eyeliner with a ballpoint pen! It took HOURS and my eyes are starting to itch!

Insane Man

Did you ever get an itch behind your eyeball that you had to dig out with a spoon? I have, man. That’s the kind of ingenuity that keeps America running strong. No rest for the inventor, no sir. you just keep moving and keep pushing through even though they tell you you should stop and that you’re a danger to others WELL **** THEM AND **** YOU TOO MOTHER****

Cajun Man

We know how to treat a guest! Cuz, why don’t you break out the crawdad cooker, I’ll pull some legs off o’ them frogs all over the bayou, we’ll fry up some snails n’ red beans, be delicious I guarantee! Why, I’ll take you fishin’ in the gulf o’ mexico! Jump over the side, swim on down to the bottom of the bayou, catch yourself a alligator, clean ‘im, we’ll have supper fryin’ before you know it! All with that authentic blend of spices. Sea salt, ground varmint, deadly nightshade powder, peach pits, and some o’ that tar from the roadside. Stole it from a construction crew.

Salesman

Good evening! Have you ever wanted a way to read and drive at the same time? Well now you can! Just order the DriveReader Four thousand by dialing the number at the bottom of your screen! Yes, the Drivereader four thousand is fully customizable,and is completely opaque so that when it’s in front of your face as you’re driving down the highway, you can make out every word. War and peace? More like Snore and peace! But not with the Drivereader Four Thousand! Hurry, operators are standing by!

Burnt-out Rock Star

Hey, is this thing on? That’s ****in incredible. I… uh. I forgot what I was gonna ask about. Uh. So. Why did you call me? What do you mean I called you? You called me. Oh right, this was about my appearance at the mall opening oh. Can you get me some yellow margarine for it? I want to rub it on my leather jacket. I do that every tuesday. I wish you wouldn’t ask why, it’s really my business.

Snobbish Character

Did I ever tell you about the time I happened to come across my old acquaintance Reginald Bullworthington? I have? Well every good story needs a retelling…or several! So I was attending a makeshift debutante ball, or as she called it, a Sweet Sixteen, of my niece on my darling wifes less than affluent side, though i harumph at the notion of such a celebration of such an occasion without much cause for “partying”, as you commonfolk put it. Why, by the time I was sixteen I had already made my first million! But I do digress, my apologies…

Old Lady

Hey, little nephew! This internet thing sure is fun! I just spent the last three hours looking at cats! Everyone’s cats are so cute! Oh! Oh my! I just clicked a link to wet woman's genitals and it wasn’t at all what I expected. Oh my. Oh my. She looks like she won’t really have a problem having a child like your uncle Charley, he only weighed a pound when he came out. We had him on life support for three months!

TIPS AND HINTS

I will have A LOT of mail to go through. Follow the format as described above. Don’t think that adding another five minutes to your two minute improv will make me like it more. It will just make me turn it off sooner. Again, I’d like to emphasize that this is about acting and your voice, so please select characters you know you would sound good for before you pick characters you would enjoy reading. Be thoughtful and put care into your entry. Above all, I will have a lot to sort through, so try not to take it too hard if you’re not selected.

Jalapeno FortyHole edited this message on 08/19/2009 8:13PM

CrinkzPipe

Avatar: 35643 2011-12-11 17:25:30 -0500
8

[Harem and Sushi Bar]

Level 61 Emo Kid

Hi, I'm an adult whos into anime. ALSO male reproductive organS!

Arg, if only I had a mic. Log in to see images!

Sarcasm Inc

Avatar: 124937 2010-01-24 16:34:47 -0500
22

[pizza party]

Level 69 Hacker

Not needed anymore now that we have the SarcMark

Reckon it’s time to but myself a microphone.

MC Banhammer

Avatar: 1887 2011-07-31 00:40:59 -0400
36

[Good Omens]

Level 69 Troll

Trying to create drama to drum up the ratings by any means necessary!

I am SO ****ING DOING THIS.

Rocky Horror’s on hold. Sorry, girls.

Johnny Mac

Avatar: 37704 2011-07-31 00:49:39 -0400
35

[Full of SbumSS]

Level 35 Troll

hot horse great times lover

I’ll probably try this.

man-man

Avatar: 156485 2010-01-24 16:36:14 -0500
24

[Harem and Sushi Bar]

Level 69 Hacker

Selfish fine upstanding member of society

I can imagine what I’d want some of these to sound like, but I don’t know how well I could recreate that into a mic. Also I don’t particularly like listening to my own voice from a recording… something about it always sounds wrong.

Well, we will see.

dobnits

Avatar: 58842 2010-01-24 16:19:10 -0500
51

[The Scrotal Safety-
Commission
]

Level 69 Troll

THE LEGENDARY PINK DOBS

Definately in on this one!

Fortunato

Avatar: 72902 2010-02-03 18:45:17 -0500
32

[Grey Goose Mafiosi]

Level 51 Troll

ZOMBIE CANNONBALL OF GORE

whoa omg should I enter I don’t know

Fortunato edited this message on 08/19/2009 9:50PM

MC Banhammer

Avatar: 1887 2011-07-31 00:40:59 -0400
36

[Good Omens]

Level 69 Troll

Trying to create drama to drum up the ratings by any means necessary!

Fortunato Posted:

whoa omg should I enter I don’t know

Well duh of course you should!

Aldo_Anything

MODERATOR
Avatar: 32555 2012-03-02 18:18:54 -0500
95

[Brainfreeze]

Level 69 Troll

KRAUTMEISTER

Snobbish Character! I said it first

dobnits

Avatar: 58842 2010-01-24 16:19:10 -0500
51

[The Scrotal Safety-
Commission
]

Level 69 Troll

THE LEGENDARY PINK DOBS

Aldo_Anything Posted:

Snobbish Character! I said it first

Sorry good sir, but i DO believe that one is mine.

Fort Naruto

Avatar: 88300 Mon Mar 30 17:18:30 -0400 2009
2

[Harem and Sushi Bar]

Level 29 Camwhore

“Playmate of the Month”

someone should enter ethnic accents hint hint hint

Bandaney

Avatar: 70433 2014-01-09 17:16:25 -0500
24

[Grey Goose Mafiosi]

Level 60 Hacker

Ask me about my bandana :zak:

Sounds… interesting.

Sarcasm Inc

Avatar: 124937 2010-01-24 16:34:47 -0500
22

[pizza party]

Level 69 Hacker

Not needed anymore now that we have the SarcMark

Bandaney Posted:

Sounds… interesting.

The results will be even more…interesting.

AntiRules187

Avatar: 79421 Tue May 26 22:06:20 -0400 2009
2

[Temple of the Anth-
ropomorphic Majesty
]

Level 35 Troll

It's actually an honor to be pranked, it means someone spent real money on you. Sir.

E #3: Ok I finally found a mic & will record whatever I feel sounds good IMO.

AntiRules187 edited this message on 08/23/2009 5:14PM

Aldo_Anything

MODERATOR
Avatar: 32555 2012-03-02 18:18:54 -0500
95

[Brainfreeze]

Level 69 Troll

KRAUTMEISTER

dobnits Posted:

Sorry good sir, but i DO believe that one is mine.

Oh I’m sure we can clear up this little misunderstanding. As I declared myself
first, dear fellow, you will have to relinquish the role to me. Still, unusually
challenging characters are left to interpret, some, like the young woman, may
comply more with your faculties.

CrinkzPipe

Avatar: 35643 2011-12-11 17:25:30 -0500
8

[Harem and Sushi Bar]

Level 61 Emo Kid

Hi, I'm an adult whos into anime. ALSO male reproductive organS!

I would so do the young boy and young girl if I had the mic.

Asuka424

Avatar: 167197 Thu Aug 06 23:54:40 -0400 2009
8

[Grey Goose Mafiosi]

Level 59 Hacker

“Cracking Addict”

Thanks for the open casting call – now which ones should I audition for…hmmmmmm… 0_o

Asuka424 edited this message on 08/20/2009 3:11AM
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