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Macho "The Internet: A most Solemn Endeavour" a new screenplay by Hobart Bliggity

Indiana Jonas

Avatar: 13850 2014-12-19 09:36:26 -0500
13

[At Least I Never M-
ade A Failure Of A-
Website
]

Level 35 Troll

WWWWWWWWWWWWWW WWWWWWWWWWWWWW WWWWWWWWWWWWWW WWWWWWWWWWWWWW WWWWWWWWWWWWWW WWWWWWWWWWWWWW WWWWWWWWWWWWWW WW

Based on actual events



Act 1: A downtown dirty apartment. The curtain rises on our protagonist Stephen as he takes a long pull out of a beer bottle, wipes his mouth and lolls his head as he reads the screen. He begins typing. The conversation is projected onto the wall behind him.


[03:13am] Stephen: I feel horible and don’t want to admit that I’d like to kill myself

[03:14am] Stephen: and obviously instead I’d rather have attention

[03:14am] Stephen: bad night for me

[03:15am] Stephen: ok.. no one cares

[03:15am] Stephen: wipe away feelings and man up

[03:16am] Stephen: (pretend the previous never was said plz)

[03:18am] Carl: what why is Stephen’s messages blank

[03:19am] Stephen: thx. I’d rather be blocked than you knew what I said

[03:20am]Carl: huh

[03:20am]Carl: what is Stephen saying i don’t get it


The projector dims as the lights come up on Stephen. Across the stage a spotlight shines on Amanda. She answers her phone. The audience hears a one-way conversation


Amanda: “Hello? Oh hey Carl, how are you? No, I’m not on right now….who? Why is he…wait…

Is he really? Ugh, I guess I can, but I’m sick of…..he said what?

Yes. Yes I’ll be right there”


Cue 2nd projector screen as Amanda logs on to chatroom. Both Stephen and Amanda’s screens are projected on the back wall.


[03:47am] Amanda: Stephen what

[03:47am] Stephen: ?

[03:47am] Amanda: what’s wrong

[03:48am] Stephen: oh no one was here and I wanted attentiom soprry

[03:48am] Amanda: ?_?

[03:48am] Stephen: I shouldn’t have been a whiny ****. please excuse me


Stephen audibly weeps and is shaken up by Amanda’s appearance.

Amanda (said out loud): You ****ing bumhole…


(chat)

[03:49am] Stephen: are you gonna come back to me?

[03:50am] • Stephen thinks you should do it before much longer

[03:51am] Stephen: I know you never cared when I left to my vacation, but I’d like you to be in my bed again asap

[03:53am] Stephen: if you wait too long, you’re gonna seem distant from me

[03:53am] Stephen: or, maybe you just want to leave this place? it happens

[03:54am] Stephen: Amanda?

[03:54am] Stephen: please leave your bumhole guys group and come back?

[03:55am] Roger: please leave your bumhole for Stephen?

[03:56am] Stephen: yes, please

[03:56am] Amanda: probably not coming back any time soon

[03:56am] Stephen: hey Rog, I tried to get in your group

[03:56am] Amanda: I already felt too distant that’s the reason I left

[03:56am] Stephen: are you ever gonna ask me?

[03:56am] Stephen: so you don’t want to come back ‘manda?

[03:57am] Stephen: I felt alienated is why I let b4

[03:57am] Amanda: yeah that’s why I left

[03:57am] Stephen: but after a cool off period and some vital people asking me to come back, I did

[03:57am] Amanda: and I feel a lot happier talking to you at the bar or whatever with myself distanced from being so involved in your mess

[03:58am] Amanda: because everything I suggested or pointed out, you took the opposite view from me, and it got to the point where it felt like you were disagreeing with me just to disagree with me

[03:59am] Stephen: well, I as a person, who didn’t generally agree with you lots of the times, want you to know that I always listened and tried to understand your opinion and I want you back

[04:01am] Stephen: just because I disagree with you probably more than most people do, I still love you

[04:01am] Stephen: and I want that oposing side

[04:01am] Stephen: to be part of the team

[04:03am] Stephen: you never asked me to come back from my vacation, but I am personally asking you Amanda, will you please rejoin me?

[04:03am] Amanda: I’m not coming back right now sorry

[04:03am] Stephen: will you remember that I want you back?

[04:04am] Amanda: yes

[04:05am] Stephen: I know I think you’re a **** a lot, I hope that is not why you left

[04:05am]Target: ITC: sucking Am’s male reproductive organ

[04:05am]Karl: /popcorn

[04:06am] Stephen: because ****y or not, when you have an opinion, you stick to it and I like it

[04:06am] Amanda: lol

[04:06am] • Stephen gives up

[04:06am] Roger: Stephen how much have you had to drink tonight

[04:06am] Roger: also Amanda pretty much thinks what i tell her too, Kathy gave me her mind control powers

[04:06am] Roger: *to

[04:07am] Roger: drunken reaching out invites embarbumment

[04:07am] Stephen: I dunno spanish but I think it was more than whatever “mucho cervesas”” is


Chat projections dim as Amanda rises to greet friends at her apartment “door”. Stephen stumbles to the fridge, cracks another beer, and sits down back at the computer. Stage lights dim to black over the sound of Stephen typing.


FIN


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ChilePepino

Avatar: 101005 2010-01-24 16:17:40 -0500
5

[Full of SbumSS]

Level 35 Permanoob

Well, spf357 really rocks.

buminglee tears rolel dodwn my scheeck.

Lord Shplane

Avatar: 49819 Fri Dec 05 01:45:00 -0500 2008
30

[Forumwarz Speakeasy]

Level 69 Troll

:)

tl;dr


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Indiana Jonas

Avatar: 13850 2014-12-19 09:36:26 -0500
13

[At Least I Never M-
ade A Failure Of A-
Website
]

Level 35 Troll

WWWWWWWWWWWWWW WWWWWWWWWWWWWW WWWWWWWWWWWWWW WWWWWWWWWWWWWW WWWWWWWWWWWWWW WWWWWWWWWWWWWW WWWWWWWWWWWWWW WW

bump for morning


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kittiejenn

Avatar: 18080 2011-11-01 00:29:42 -0400
39

[Backdoor Amigos]

Level 35 Emo Kid

So damn naughty it wraps back around to nice.

I’m pretty sure I’ve seen this somewhere before….


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Click here to give me internets!

View/click my draginz please

Indiana Jonas

Avatar: 13850 2014-12-19 09:36:26 -0500
13

[At Least I Never M-
ade A Failure Of A-
Website
]

Level 35 Troll

WWWWWWWWWWWWWW WWWWWWWWWWWWWW WWWWWWWWWWWWWW WWWWWWWWWWWWWW WWWWWWWWWWWWWW WWWWWWWWWWWWWW WWWWWWWWWWWWWW WW

It’s based on a chatlog between two forumwarz ppl. I can’t say who but lol


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Skyman747

Avatar: 115546 2015-08-12 18:58:09 -0400
17

[Harem and Sushi Bar]

Level 69 Hacker

DIRTY ****ING fine upstanding member of society woman's genitals

Lord Shplane Posted:

tl;dr


Dysnomia Posted:

I wish MercWithMouth was permabanned

I wish everyone in WeChall was permabanned

I wish Skyman747 was permabanned

-=Dysnomia=-

Wylin

Avatar: 19712 Thu Mar 26 21:15:20 -0400 2009
35

[Brainfreeze]

Level 69 Troll

Causing Jealousy On The Internet On A Daily Basis.

lol, nice.

burningpopsi-
cles

Avatar: 185740 Sun Jul 26 20:51:42 -0400 2009
5

[Everyday Regular N-
ormal Klan
]

Level 31 Troll

“Permafail”

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TROLLS: we eat billy goats and INNOCENCE

1337xxxxxxxxxlolololololololololxxxxxxxxx1337 Posted:

uggghg. ****ingstop posting

ur a dusty lemin cough drop thats fallen under teh desk for 3 montsh cuz the cleaning crews too lazy to vacuum properly since they spent half their shifts smokin up by the dumpster

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Wylin

Avatar: 19712 Thu Mar 26 21:15:20 -0400 2009
35

[Brainfreeze]

Level 69 Troll

Causing Jealousy On The Internet On A Daily Basis.

burningpopsicles Posted:

FoW Log in to see images!

Wait lets see how it plays out, it seems the ending it yet to be determined! I’d also bet Amanda has spies in Stephan’s base!

ChilePepino

Avatar: 101005 2010-01-24 16:17:40 -0500
5

[Full of SbumSS]

Level 35 Permanoob

Well, spf357 really rocks.

Wylin Posted:

Wait lets see how it plays out, it seems the ending it yet to be determined! I’d also bet Amanda has spies in Stephan’s base!

hmmmmm… id dont’t thinsks amamndaa caredss enouhgg abouutt stephanss coccksuckekrs bbumse tto havee spsies.

Indiana Jonas

Avatar: 13850 2014-12-19 09:36:26 -0500
13

[At Least I Never M-
ade A Failure Of A-
Website
]

Level 35 Troll

WWWWWWWWWWWWWW WWWWWWWWWWWWWW WWWWWWWWWWWWWW WWWWWWWWWWWWWW WWWWWWWWWWWWWW WWWWWWWWWWWWWW WWWWWWWWWWWWWW WW

bump for other awful side of flamebate


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