http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/tor/353298327.html

Do you feel lonely or empty? – 18

Date: 2007-06-16, 2:51AM EDT

Because I can change that completely. I don’t care how old you are, or how attractive you are, because I’ll like you anyway. Genuinely like you. I like most people. Seriously. My cut-off age is like… let’s say seventy. That’s a bit too old. Below that is fine. Fat is welcome, but I have to say morbidly obese grosses me out. Obesity is defined as being 30 pounds overweight, and I’m fine with that, but I’m afraid the seriously overweight won’t do. Sorry. Best of luck on losing weight to those people, though. Uhm. I’m not sure how to begin explaining what I want, or if this is in the appropriate section. I’ll post it to a few other sections that are related just in case.

But, to begin with, I suppose I need to say I’m looking for a man who wants the company of a cute young woman on a regular basis. I’m not currently in Toronto, but I’m looking to move there, hopefully by the end of July. I don’t want to live alone, and instead of moving there then looking for roommates, I want to go from point a to b right away. B being with a guy who’ll enjoy my company. My regular company and my romantic company. A live-in boyfriend type, you could say.

This is going to sound desperate, because it is, but I don’t care if you have roommates, or if you live in a small house/apartment. I’ll sleep on the floor, the couch, the bathtub, or with you if you like. I’m not picky and I don’t complain. I’m totally humble, meek, and unobtrusive. But some say quite funny. You don’t have to take me out or celebrate anniversaries like you do with people you date. I would feel more comfortable if it was more low-key and laid back. Cause it’s more comfortable that way, right? I don’t expect you to exclusively see me; I’m not a big supporter of monogamy, so see as many other girls you like. If you just want a girl to live with and not be romantic with, that’s fine too. I won’t be insulted. And I’m quite quiet, so you won’t even know I’m there, really. I don’t really have any bad habits. I’m not addicted to drugs, alcohol, cigarettes, but I’m not uptight, I don’t care if other people use them. I think people can make their own decisions. I also don’t eat much. So basically, I’m cheap and easy. I do wish that didn’t make me sound bad.

So, the thing is, I don’t have a lot of money. I’m actually pretty poor, but as soon as I move, I’ll get a job. I’ll get three jobs, swear. If I don’t you can kick me out and I’ll live on the streets until I get one. I’m easy to get rid of if you change your mind. I’m not a leech. I’m very independent. This move is actually me trying to balance out having independence without isolating myself. Because I’m alone all the time. I can’t take it. So I need someone to take me in. Like a pet. Well, except you don’t have to feed me or clean up after me or pay attention to me. I guess more like a house plant? A cactus, maybe? I dunno. I suppose I’m cactus-like. But cuter.

I’m completely serious. I know someone out there must feel lonely, and wish there was a nice girl to come home to, to talk to or care about them. I’ll do the cooking and the washing-up. All the housework as well as work at as many jobs I can handle. All the money goes to rent, bills, etc. It’s like having a roommate or a live-in girlfriend but without the stress. I won’t cause stress, promise. I’ll relieve stress on a regular basis. I give great mbumages, head rubs, hand jobs, blow jobs. Did I really just put that? Yeah. You won’t be getting nothing out of this. I’m very appreciative to anyone who would let me stay with them. But I’m not a whore. I’m actually a virgin. Those things I mentioned, yeah, I’ll do them, as often as you like, but I won’t go all the way. Weird phobia, I guess. But that’s why I don’t care if you go around with other girls. I understand men have needs, and I can only do so much to meet them. It’s not normally a one-woman job. Hence why monogamy doesn’t always work out.

Anyways, if you do feel lonely, but don’t know if I’m a good match for you, reply back and I’ll answer any questions. I guess I can give a little personal info here; I hope you find it useful. I like Doctor Who, Black Books, Bright Young Things and Snatch. Neil Gaiman is my hero, and I like a lot of bad music, so I won’t list that here. I love comics, or graphic novels. I’m new to them, but I really like Gaiman, Warren Ellis, and Alan Moore. I read x-men scans off the internet. So, basically, I guess I’m a huge geek. I’m 1337, but I can’t fix your computer. I know a little french, but not enough to hold a conversation in it. Hopefully I can brush up on it in Canada. One of the reasons I want to live in Canada is because I love cold weather. I’m sure I’ll complain about it come winter, but I miss it, having been in North Carolina for thirteen years. I come from up north though, New York, near the border to Canada. So I don’t have a southern accent; the only time you’ll here me say y’all is to say that I never say y’all.

((Also, if you need more pictures, let me know. I have bajillions of them. Body shots are hard to get; I always suffer from slightly-out-of-focus or head-cut-off ness. You can see those of course, but for those curious now, here are my stats: 36 bust, 27 waist, 36 hips; hair: orange; eyes: green; height: 5’6’’; weight: 130; athletic: engages in track, lacrosse, kick boxing, and softball. I can kick bum, but I choose not to, because I’m pbumive, and I know violence isn’t right. I don’t yell. I don’t have a bad temper at all, despite what you’ve heard about redheads. I’m an optimist. Some people find that surprising due to how much black I wear.))

I think she has issues, or she is lying. Nobody should ever bring themselves to that level. Then again, some people would see that as kind of a fair trade. If she only ate ramen, it really would be cheaper than a dog.

Oh, also — nice Necro Log in to see images!

Date: 2007-06-16

It’s just a post to make fun of nerds.

Cheins Sanchez Posted:

I’ll be moving soon. If that thing with the house craps out for some reason, you can shack up with me. Log in to see images!

Nice, I’ll see how things work out . And then we can find a pet girl .

Adapt Posted:

Nice, I’ll see how things work out . And then we can find a pet girl .

Just tell them you’re the son of God or some other nonsence like that. No, that won’t work. We need a plan. At the very least, you need a plan.

Cheins Sanchez Posted:

Just tell them you’re the son of God or some other nonsence like that. No, that won’t work. We need a plan. At the very least, you need a plan.

You will be one of the people in on it though . Beyond that I really don’t know what to do .

She has a flaw most women have, she talks to much.

1337xxxxxxxxxlolololololololololxxxxxxxxx1337 Posted:

It’s a troll written to be every aspie internet nerd’s dream girl. She has every single quality that some 30 year old virgin WoW player would possibly desire. Cute, barely legal, kind of nerdy, eager to please and serve in any way, despite how wonderful she makes herself out to be she has absolutely no standards of her own. Right.

She rules out morbidly obese people, picks a random-bum city in Toronto, and says no intercourse. Adding those things up doesn’t equate to bull**** to me. “Barely legal”? She never gave her age. Considering 70’s her upper limit, that she apparently doesn’t get a lot of attention, and she’s secure enough to make this request (bumuming it’s not bull****), I’d guess ~40.

While I wouldn’t entirely rule out the possibility it’s a troll, I think it’s much more likely it’s a scammer; someone who’d move in and steal your **** or otherwise do something ****ed up. I’m not saying that’s likely, just that it’s a fair possibility, while that it’s a troll is a slim one. Would be a good idea to at least do a background check, possibly having a professional look into her past.

I don’t see the no intercourse part.

I don’t think any of you have described it accurately. She’s an attention whore basically. She’ll get a 1000 responses to this, and possibly pick the best one if she’s even serious. Although it’s very possible she thinks she’s serious but will never actually go through with. She wants attention.