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Evil Trout Murder/Suicide

PJ Harvey

Avatar: PJ Harvey's Avatar
27

Level 35 Emo Kid

“Cutty Cutterson”

I find it very romantic.


I'M A SIG-DISABLING COCKMONGLER

ChilePepino

Avatar: 101005 2010-01-24 16:17:40 -0500
5

[Full of SbumSS]

Level 35 Permanoob

Well, spf357 really rocks.

dooo youu finnd anally peneetreatorry sexx verry romeentinc aswell?

skatelivendie

Avatar: harblgar

Level 12 Troll

“Pain in the ASCII”

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Bucephalus

Avatar: 176626 Thu Jul 09 01:12:06 -0400 2009
27

[The Scrotal Safety-
Commission
]

Level 35 Troll

“Problem Child IV”

epic murder/suicide fail from my local police blotter:

Investigation found that a female patient was in her room located on the 4th floor of the hospital resting in a hospital bed. At this time a male subject entered the hospital and shot her.

The female victim is 69 years of age and was being treated as a patient in the hospital at the time of this attack.

Investigation found that female was shot three times in the head with a .177 caliber pellet gun. The projectiles entered her head, she is undergoing surgery to have the projectiles removed from her body. The victim is currently listed as being in stable condition.

The investigation resulted in the arrest of:

Howard Harrell, age 72.

Investigation found that Harrell fired a single .177 caliber round into his own head after shooting the victim. Harrell fled the hospital on foot with the head injury, he returned to the hospital a short time later for treatment. Harrell was taken into custody by the Police Department at that time.

Harrell has been charged with Attempted Murder and Possession of a Weapon for an Unlawful Purpose. Harrell’s bail has been set at $150,000.

Harrell has been admitted to the Hospital for treatment and is currently being held at the hospital in protective custody. He will be transferred to the County Jail after being released from the hospital. Harrell is listed as being in stable condition.

The motive for this crime was an attempted murder/suicide.

The crime falls under the domestic violence protection, no additional information will be released about the victim.

At no time was any other patient or staff member at the hospital in danger during this incident. The victim was specifically targeted.

Police seized the weapon that is believed to have been used in this attack.

Fie

Avatar: 152207 2011-11-01 00:46:41 -0400
10

[And The Banned Pla-
yed On
]

Level 47 Camwhore

I want to see some real, live poop.

Not yet had Nessus reached the other side,

When we had put ourselves within a wood,

That was not marked by any path whatever.

Not foliage green, but of a dusky colour,

Not branches smooth, but gnarled and intertangled,

Not apple-trees were there, but thorns with poison.

Such tangled thickets have not, nor so dense,

Those savage wild beasts, that in hatred hold

‘Twixt Cecina and Corneto the tilled places.

There do the hideous Harpies make their nests,

Who chased the Trojans from the Strophades,

With sad announcement of impending doom;

Broad wings have they, and necks and faces human,

And feet with claws, and their great bellies fledged;

They make laments upon the wondrous trees.

And the good Master: “Ere thou enter farther,

Know that thou art within the second round,”

Thus he began to say, “and shalt be, till

Thou comest out upon the horrible sand;

Therefore look well around, and thou shalt see

Things that will credence give unto my speech.”

I heard on all sides lamentations uttered,

And person none beheld I who might make them,

Whence, utterly bewildered, I stood still.

I think he thought that I perhaps might think

So many voices issued through those trunks

From people who concealed themselves from us;

Therefore the Master said: “If thou break off

Some little spray from any of these trees,

The thoughts thou hast will wholly be made vain.”

Then stretched I forth my hand a little forward,

And plucked a branchlet off from a great thorn;

And the trunk cried, “Why dost thou mangle me?”

After it had become embrowned with blood,

It recommenced its cry: “Why dost thou rend me?

Hast thou no spirit of pity whatsoever?

Men once we were, and now are changed to trees;

Indeed, thy hand should be more pitiful,

Even if the souls of serpents we had been.”

As out of a green brand, that is on fire

At one of the ends, and from the other drips

And hisses with the wind that is escaping;

So from that splinter issued forth together

Both words and blood; whereat I let the tip

Fall, and stood like a man who is afraid.

“Had he been able sooner to believe,”

My Sage made answer, “O thou wounded soul,

What only in my verses he has seen,

Not upon thee had he stretched forth his hand;

Whereas the thing incredible has caused me

To put him to an act which grieveth me.

But tell him who thou wast, so that by way

Of some amends thy fame he may refresh

Up in the world, to which he can return.”

And the trunk said: “So thy sweet words allure me,

I cannot silent be; and you be vexed not,

That I a little to discourse am tempted.

I am the one who both keys had in keeping

Of Frederick’s heart, and turned them to and fro

So softly in unlocking and in locking,

That from his secrets most men I withheld;

Fidelity I bore the glorious office

So great, I lost thereby my sleep and pulses.

The courtesan who never from the dwelling

Of Caesar turned aside her strumpet eyes,

Death universal and the vice of courts,

Inflamed against me all the other minds,

And they, inflamed, did so inflame Augustus,

That my glad honours turned to dismal mournings.

My spirit, in disdainful exultation,

Thinking by dying to escape disdain,

Made me unjust against myself, the just.

I, by the roots unwonted of this wood,

Do swear to you that never broke I faith

Unto my lord, who was so worthy of honour;

And to the world if one of you return,

Let him my memory comfort, which is lying

Still prostrate from the blow that envy dealt it.”

Waited awhile, and then: “Since he is silent,”

The Poet said to me, “lose not the time,

But speak, and question him, if more may please thee.”

Whence I to him: “Do thou again inquire

Concerning what thou thinks’t will satisfy me;

For I cannot, such pity is in my heart.”

Therefore he recommenced: “So may the man

Do for thee freely what thy speech implores,

Spirit incarcerate, again be pleased

To tell us in what way the soul is bound

Within these knots; and tell us, if thou canst,

If any from such members e’er is freed.”

Then blew the trunk amain, and afterward

The wind was into such a voice converted:

“With brevity shall be replied to you.

When the exasperated soul abandons

The body whence it rent itself away,

Minos consigns it to the seventh abyss.

It falls into the forest, and no part

Is chosen for it; but where Fortune hurls it,

There like a grain of spelt it germinates.

It springs a sapling, and a forest tree;

The Harpies, feeding then upon its leaves,

Do pain create, and for the pain an outlet.

Like others for our spoils shall we return;

But not that any one may them revest,

For ‘tis not just to have what one casts off.

Here we shall drag them, and along the dismal

Forest our bodies shall suspended be,

Each to the thorn of his molested shade.”

We were attentive still unto the trunk,

Thinking that more it yet might wish to tell us,

When by a tumult we were overtaken,

In the same way as he is who perceives

The boar and chase approaching to his stand,

Who hears the crashing of the beasts and branches;

And two behold! upon our left-hand side,

Naked and scratched, fleeing so furiously,

That of the forest, every fan they broke.

He who was in advance: “Now help, Death, help!”

And the other one, who seemed to lag too much,

Was shouting: “Lano, were not so alert

Those legs of thine at joustings of the Toppo!”

And then, perchance because his breath was failing,

He grouped himself together with a bush.

Behind them was the forest full of black

She-mastiffs, ravenous, and swift of foot

As greyhounds, who are issuing from the chain.

On him who had crouched down they set their teeth,

And him they lacerated piece by piece,

Thereafter bore away those aching members.

Thereat my Escort took me by the hand,

And led me to the bush, that all in vain

Was weeping from its bloody lacerations.

“O Jacopo,” it said, “of Sant’ Andrea,

What helped it thee of me to make a screen?

What blame have I in thy nefarious life?”

When near him had the Master stayed his steps,

He said: “Who wast thou, that through wounds so many

Art blowing out with blood thy dolorous speech?”

And he to us: “O souls, that hither come

To look upon the shameful mbumacre

That has so rent away from me my leaves,

Gather them up beneath the dismal bush;

I of that city was which to the Baptist

Changed its first patron, wherefore he for this

Forever with his art will make it sad.

And were it not that on the pbum of Arno

Some glimpses of him are remaining still,

Those citizens, who afterwards rebuilt it

Upon the ashes left by Attila,

In vain had caused their labour to be done.

Of my own house I made myself a gibbet.”


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Fie

Avatar: 152207 2011-11-01 00:46:41 -0400
10

[And The Banned Pla-
yed On
]

Level 47 Camwhore

I want to see some real, live poop.

I guess what I’m saying is “talking about that, you give me wood.”

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Fie

Avatar: 152207 2011-11-01 00:46:41 -0400
10

[And The Banned Pla-
yed On
]

Level 47 Camwhore

I want to see some real, live poop.

Or — “you make me woody!” would be better, I guess.





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Fie

Avatar: 152207 2011-11-01 00:46:41 -0400
10

[And The Banned Pla-
yed On
]

Level 47 Camwhore

I want to see some real, live poop.

Or hell, I could even throw in a little flair with: “Hell! I want to be inside your seventh ring, grrrrrrl! Log in to see images!


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Fie

Avatar: 152207 2011-11-01 00:46:41 -0400
10

[And The Banned Pla-
yed On
]

Level 47 Camwhore

I want to see some real, live poop.

So, uh…how about it? Log in to see images!


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Fie

Avatar: 152207 2011-11-01 00:46:41 -0400
10

[And The Banned Pla-
yed On
]

Level 47 Camwhore

I want to see some real, live poop.

*adjusts glbumes*


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Indiana Jonas

Avatar: 13850 2014-12-19 09:36:26 -0500
13

[At Least I Never M-
ade A Failure Of A-
Website
]

Level 35 Troll

WWWWWWWWWWWWWW WWWWWWWWWWWWWW WWWWWWWWWWWWWW WWWWWWWWWWWWWW WWWWWWWWWWWWWW WWWWWWWWWWWWWW WWWWWWWWWWWWWW WW

i dont underestand this thread


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~````````````````````````````````````````~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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NINJA TURTLE COMING SOON
NINJA TURTLE COMING SOON
NINJA TURTLE COMING SOON
NINJA TURTLE COMING SOON
NINJA TURTLE COMING SOON
NINJA TURTLE COMING SOON
NINJA TURTLE COMING SOON

Shii

Avatar: 23167 2010-01-24 16:31:18 -0500
27

[Phantasmagoric Spl-
endor
]

Level 35 Emo Kid

I haven't seen a bad idea that I didn't like.

Hobart Bliggity Posted:

i dont underestand this thread


Look, shock images! I’m edgy! Please remember me.

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http://i43.tinypic.com/oibvrr.jpg

SIG-ENABLING MOCK-CONGLER Posted:

Shii: youre a ****ing retard-esque

SIG-ENABLING-
MOCK-CONGLER

Avatar: 50390 Tue May 26 17:55:44 -0400 2009
16

Level 35 Troll

AHAHAHAHAHAHAH AHAHAHAHHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHA AHHAAHAHAHAHAH

@OP: DO EET


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Celerysteve

Avatar: 61989 2011-12-28 11:21:37 -0500
24

[Temple of the Anth-
ropomorphic Majesty
]

Level 35 Troll

Right from the moment when I saw Saw, I laughed.

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10/27/11 FLAMEBATE RPG UPDATED Flamebate RPG Dr. Seuss CS for Celerysteve Ban this Thread ET/Chuggo

kindred

Avatar: 156053 Thu Mar 26 03:27:56 -0400 2009
5

Level 69 Emo Kid

“The Infinite Sadness”


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PJ Harvey

Avatar: PJ Harvey's Avatar
27

Level 35 Emo Kid

“Cutty Cutterson”

Something almost like this.


I'M A SIG-DISABLING COCKMONGLER

PJ Harvey

Avatar: PJ Harvey's Avatar
27

Level 35 Emo Kid

“Cutty Cutterson”

I envision I will use a knife.


I'M A SIG-DISABLING COCKMONGLER
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