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The Unknown -
Comic

Avatar: 95506 Tue Dec 09 09:40:49 -0500 2008

[Gimmick Alts and R-
ole-Players Local -
Union 352
]

Level 2 Re-Re

I'M AWESOME APPRECIATE ME PLZ

Hi.

I’m The Unknown Comic speaking on the behalf of The Unknown Comic.

Recently The Unknown Comic was banned and before that he was also banned. The reasons for these bannings are not clear.

To anyone.

During the most recent banning The Unknown Comic was informed that he might be permabanned after a couple more infractions.

YOU can do something about this!

Donate BP to The Unknown Comic so he can make a new gimmick alt to take his mind off all the pressure that leads to non-rp trolling.

But this isn’t CHARITY, if you donate you’ll get not 1, not 2, but 8…COUNT THEM! 8 of The Unknown Comic’s GREATEST albums you’ll get:

The Unknown Comic’s Joke Archives!

The Unknown Comic’s Tribute to Barack Obama!

The Unknown Comic Sings Reggae’s Greatest Love Songs!

The Unknown Comic Presents Super Bowl Chuckle Yucks!

The Unknown Comic: American Negroid!

The Unknown Comic LIVE! at Antietam!

The Unknown Comic: 4 Da Kidzzzzzz!

The Unknown Comic: Shot Through The Heart!

Buuuuuut donate NOW! and you’ll recieve

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Hard rock candy!


Are you from the 20s?

Hate your teeth?

Sounds like you need some hard rock candy!

Donate…TODAY!


Gene Gene the Dancing Machines Legs 1932-2001

There are no gongs in Heaven, friend.

RAVE REVIEWS FROM ALL AROUND THE WORLD

Hongz:comic is just so cool

Shii: Oh dude, yeh. Unknown Comic is p funny.

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Wylin

Avatar: 19712 Thu Mar 26 21:15:20 -0400 2009
33

[Brainfreeze]

Level 69 Troll

Causing Jealousy On The Internet On A Daily Basis.

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What CZ Wants to Provide us:

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What we actually get:

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The Unknown -
Comic

Avatar: 95506 Tue Dec 09 09:40:49 -0500 2008

[Gimmick Alts and R-
ole-Players Local -
Union 352
]

Level 2 Re-Re

I'M AWESOME APPRECIATE ME PLZ

Wylin Posted:

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Thank you


Gene Gene the Dancing Machines Legs 1932-2001

There are no gongs in Heaven, friend.

RAVE REVIEWS FROM ALL AROUND THE WORLD

Hongz:comic is just so cool

Shii: Oh dude, yeh. Unknown Comic is p funny.

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The Unknown -
Comic

Avatar: 95506 Tue Dec 09 09:40:49 -0500 2008

[Gimmick Alts and R-
ole-Players Local -
Union 352
]

Level 2 Re-Re

I'M AWESOME APPRECIATE ME PLZ

People ask me, “Unknown Comic why should we care about you?”

Actually they ask me, “Unknown Comic why are you collecting my hair?”

Because it tastes so good, sweetheart!

So, we got some new mods? These guys are so gay they should call them homods!

What can I say about Sergeant Cid that everyone else hasn’t pointed out?

Sergeant Cid is so hungry for power he ate Snap!


Uh…you know that band that did the ‘I Got the Power’ song…yeah.

*cough*

So…Fran’s back!

There sure is a lot of it!

Ahem…

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Operators are standing by.

Gene Gene the Dancing Machines Legs 1932-2001

There are no gongs in Heaven, friend.

RAVE REVIEWS FROM ALL AROUND THE WORLD

Hongz:comic is just so cool

Shii: Oh dude, yeh. Unknown Comic is p funny.

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The Unknown -
Comic

Avatar: 95506 Tue Dec 09 09:40:49 -0500 2008

[Gimmick Alts and R-
ole-Players Local -
Union 352
]

Level 2 Re-Re

I'M AWESOME APPRECIATE ME PLZ

Well, we’ve reached hour four of this amazing, amazing telethon.

We’ve had some great guests. We heard a song from a guy who blew every member of T-Rex, the fantastic juggling duo the Feltch Brothers wowed us, Jerry Lewis roughed me up a bit, and super-group Damn Yankees were very angry I misled them!

It’s not over yet. No sirree, this is the ****ing Trail of Tears of telethon/charity drives!

Speaking of tears, why does Evil Trout’s mother cry herself to sleep every night?

Because she wishes she had **** a son out of her woman's genitals!

I’m just kidding, Evil Trout is not a woman.

He hasn’t begun menstruating yet!

Someday, princess, someday.

What’s the difference between MercWithMouth, Chawain, and elionbel?

Who?

I’m just kidding, the difference is the kind of **** their brains are made of!

We’re got something like 78 hours of fundraising left, so sit back and enjoy TEN MINUTES OF GLbum ARMONICA!



Haha, hope you out there in TV land don’t have dogs!

Gene Gene the Dancing Machines Legs 1932-2001

There are no gongs in Heaven, friend.

RAVE REVIEWS FROM ALL AROUND THE WORLD

Hongz:comic is just so cool

Shii: Oh dude, yeh. Unknown Comic is p funny.

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The Unknown -
Comic

Avatar: 95506 Tue Dec 09 09:40:49 -0500 2008

[Gimmick Alts and R-
ole-Players Local -
Union 352
]

Level 2 Re-Re

I'M AWESOME APPRECIATE ME PLZ

What are we at now? Ten hours? Wow, ten amazing hours. We’re going to be up all night here and we’re going to be bringing you more of these wonderful acts that really reflect the quality of The Unknown Comic.

Of course we just heard the lyrical styling of the rap group The **** Ups. Not long ago the world’s tallest midget stopped by…share some recipes with us. My good friend Gene Gene the Dancing Machine stopped by…but…he doesn’t dance much anymore.

So…I tried to call my manager yesterday. He didn’t pick up.

I guess you don’t get good service at the gloryhole in an Arby’s!

I was in Ohio this past month. Hey, everybody, what’s round on the ends and high in the middle?

A fat amputee lying on its back!

So, Forumwarz is becoming a police state. They’re going to make IDC bland and…uh…

Sorry.




I forgot why I cared!

But we do have more mods. I can’t imagine that honor and pride that comes from being a scarecrow on the turd farm!

I kid.

Well, we’ve got a long way to go in this telethon. I want you to sit tight and give a big round of applause for Jeffy Boyne who’s going to teach us all how to, ****ing christ, to throat sing!



Gene Gene the Dancing Machines Legs 1932-2001

There are no gongs in Heaven, friend.

RAVE REVIEWS FROM ALL AROUND THE WORLD

Hongz:comic is just so cool

Shii: Oh dude, yeh. Unknown Comic is p funny.

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The Unknown -
Comic

Avatar: 95506 Tue Dec 09 09:40:49 -0500 2008

[Gimmick Alts and R-
ole-Players Local -
Union 352
]

Level 2 Re-Re

I'M AWESOME APPRECIATE ME PLZ

Oh my god, where are we at, Tommy? 20 hours? 20 hours of quality entertainment. Let’s look at our total!

Nothing! No donations so far. That’s okay, we’ve still got a long way to go!

You know, the question comes up a lot not just for me, but for other players as well: “If you hate Forumwarz why do you keep coming here?”

Because I am defined by my hate!

Seriously, I feel only negative emotions, but let me tell you one thing…

I get my Christmas shopping for my kids done real fast! “Here, you little ****er, here’s an 8-pack of mini Bics don’t burn yourself because I’m too drunk to drive!”

But kids are great. They’re weak though. They can’t live on Beast Ice and teriyaki jerky, but that’s solve pretty easily…

Because they can’t live on anti-freeze either!

Dead children aren’t funny.

Dead children with fake mustaches are HILARIOUS though

So, I think that fad of people making signs for each other is kind of dieing out. It doesn’t bother me except I have to see Context’s face everywhere. She has an okay body it’s just her face.

It’s around the eyes. Those glbumes distract from it a tiny bit, but I think she needs to go with the Geordi LaForge space visor thing.

This isn’t meant to be funny. I hate Context’s face. It’s ugly and I don’t understand why everyone pretends it’s not.

I can’t really talk though…

My face was eaten off by the Portuguese mafia!


Gene Gene the Dancing Machines Legs 1932-2001

There are no gongs in Heaven, friend.

RAVE REVIEWS FROM ALL AROUND THE WORLD

Hongz:comic is just so cool

Shii: Oh dude, yeh. Unknown Comic is p funny.

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The Unknown -
Comic

Avatar: 95506 Tue Dec 09 09:40:49 -0500 2008

[Gimmick Alts and R-
ole-Players Local -
Union 352
]

Level 2 Re-Re

I'M AWESOME APPRECIATE ME PLZ

Oh my ****ing woman's genitals, Tommy! TOMMY CHECK THE BIG BOARD.

That’s right folks the…call has been pouring in and we are now at 2 bps donated by our wonderful, wonderful listener.

Let’s see here, uh, the donator was Was! He writes, “Dear The Unknown Comic, my children and I love the quality entertainment you provide. You and your all-star team of entertainers have dazzled us for years and it just wouldn’t be the same if you got perma’d for attacking the very special real lives on the pathetic players of this game.”

Thank you was, you truly are a man of gallantry and taste.

We’re half way to our goal here and there’s plenty of time to call in and make your donation.

I need to go to the bathroom, I bought some dexedrine from the key grip and that **** needs to go up my nose like a…like a…

Up my nose like a…****…Just bring out some freak so he can do some ****ty song


Gene Gene the Dancing Machines Legs 1932-2001

There are no gongs in Heaven, friend.

RAVE REVIEWS FROM ALL AROUND THE WORLD

Hongz:comic is just so cool

Shii: Oh dude, yeh. Unknown Comic is p funny.

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Chawin

Avatar: 146808 2012-12-30 22:05:41 -0500
12

[Deth Krew 2010]

Level 69 Hacker

Scared of death

The Unknown Comic Posted:

What’s the difference between MercWithMouth, Chawain, and elionbel?

Who the **** is this Chawain male reproductive organ?


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Aristrofl

Avatar: 143382 Fri Mar 20 18:13:55 -0400 2009
3

[League of Internet-
Superheroes
]

Level 33 Hacker

“01001000 01000001 01011000”

Dear Unknown comic,

Continue being “funny”,

“All human actions have one or more of these seven causes: chance, nature, compulsion, habit, reason, pbumion, and desire.”

~Aristotle

“Godamnit, where are my pants.”

~AristRofl

You let me down, and I will impregnate you. I have the technology.

~AristRofl.


Life is what you make it. My mom told me that. Also, it’s about weed, ****es and money. Snoop taught me that one.

XpiK drew me.

GrahamWellin-
gton

Avatar: Ron Paul
2

[Transsexual-Cross--
Dressers Klan
]

Level 35 Troll

“Problem Child IV”

You should feature more stand-up comedy acts, beside yourself. The kids love that stand-up comedy!


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The Unknown -
Comic

Avatar: 95506 Tue Dec 09 09:40:49 -0500 2008

[Gimmick Alts and R-
ole-Players Local -
Union 352
]

Level 2 Re-Re

I'M AWESOME APPRECIATE ME PLZ

We just got a call from Aristofl, he donated a BP. God bless.

I don’t really know Aristofl. Someone remind me not to make fun of him later.

We’re 3/4 of the way there, just need one more for an avatar change. I’m amazed at this outpouring of love.

And don’t be afraid my children, I’ll still be here and I’ll still love you.

Did someone say stand-up comedy? Well, you’re in for a treat.

A treat that will have to wait because I don’t think I snorted speed.

I think, dear friends, it may have been skag.

My nose is bleeding pretty bad.


Gene Gene the Dancing Machines Legs 1932-2001

There are no gongs in Heaven, friend.

RAVE REVIEWS FROM ALL AROUND THE WORLD

Hongz:comic is just so cool

Shii: Oh dude, yeh. Unknown Comic is p funny.

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Jalapeno Boo-
tyhole

MODERATOR
Avatar: 44 2012-11-06 12:31:55 -0500

[Crotch Zombie]

Level 44 Emo Kid

Happy fifth anniversary, Forumwarz! :pumpaul:

This is actually pretty amusing!

Post an MP3 or video of you doing your shtick, and I’ll donate a little something. Log in to see images! Jalapeno Bootyhole edited this message on 04/03/2009 7:27PM


I'M A SIG-DISABLING COCKMONGLER

The Unknown -
Comic

Avatar: 95506 Tue Dec 09 09:40:49 -0500 2008

[Gimmick Alts and R-
ole-Players Local -
Union 352
]

Level 2 Re-Re

I'M AWESOME APPRECIATE ME PLZ

Jalapeno Bootyhole Posted:

This is actually pretty amusing!

Post an MP3 or video of you doing your shtick, and I’ll donate a little something. Log in to see images!

You’re just noticing I’m amusing? Daaaaamn, Bootyhole, you need to get with the times!

Video is a no can do, MP3…maybe, it won’t be very good quality, but, yeah maybe. Not until Sunday at the earliest though. I’ve got a gig tomorrow and the computers at the OTB are ****.

Sooo…I called my male reproductive organ the other day. He picked up and said, “Yeah?”

And I say, “male reproductive organ! Where you been man?”

And he says, “In your nephew’s bumhole!”

And I say, “It’s always in the first place you look when you’re in New Jersey!”

But seriously, I have never molested anyone in my family. I’ve been to court over this and it’s just a joke.

You know what’s not a joke though?

I murdered JonBenet Ramsey!

What’s the difference between Xylon and a Xylophone?

It sounds good when I hit Xylon with a mallet! The loud crunch of bone dampened by the soft squish of flesh!

Hard to tune though!

What’s the difference between Forumwarz and cigarettes?

Cigarettes require a Surgeon General’s warning for the cancer they cause!

HOLY **** I’M ON ****ING FIRE!!!

Remember, I only need 1 more BP.

TAKE IT AWAY BUCK!



Gene Gene the Dancing Machines Legs 1932-2001

There are no gongs in Heaven, friend.

RAVE REVIEWS FROM ALL AROUND THE WORLD

Hongz:comic is just so cool

Shii: Oh dude, yeh. Unknown Comic is p funny.

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The Unknown -
Comic

Avatar: 95506 Tue Dec 09 09:40:49 -0500 2008

[Gimmick Alts and R-
ole-Players Local -
Union 352
]

Level 2 Re-Re

I'M AWESOME APPRECIATE ME PLZ

Tommy, how long have we been at this? Tommy? Tommy…

Well, folks, we’re now entering our 47th hour of fundraising. It’s been quite a journey, we’ve raised 3 BP to support The Unknown Comic. We’re so close to our goal I can almost squeeze its mammary glands!

So…Barack Obama has been in the news lately, have you seen this?

I guess nobody told him the election is over!

Speaking of Mexicans, I was puking at a Taco Bell urinal a couple days back.



I’m still pretty conflicted about microwaves. I can cook my food pretty fast, but after 13 months you can’t fit a kid in them!

Just kidding, I don’t eat children…

I just like the smell of one cooking!

When are they going to make THAT scented candle, huh?

So, I had my forged license to perform abortions revoked a few months back.

I’m stilling performing abortions, but dammit if I don’t feel bad about it!

We’ve got nearly 24 hours of fundraising left, so sit tight and don’t kill yourself just yet!


Gene Gene the Dancing Machines Legs 1932-2001

There are no gongs in Heaven, friend.

RAVE REVIEWS FROM ALL AROUND THE WORLD

Hongz:comic is just so cool

Shii: Oh dude, yeh. Unknown Comic is p funny.

Log in to see images!

The Unknown -
Comic

Avatar: 95506 Tue Dec 09 09:40:49 -0500 2008

[Gimmick Alts and R-
ole-Players Local -
Union 352
]

Level 2 Re-Re

I'M AWESOME APPRECIATE ME PLZ

Holy ****…so much blood…so, so much blood. What? We’re back?

HEY FOLKS! Well, sorry about the technical difficulties but Wild Paul came by with his untrained tigers and well…how about those prat falls? Animal control teams slipping on blood is never not funny.

Except of course for their families!



What’s in the news…

Madonna’s adoption request has been denied.

Hey, Madonna, why don’t you adopt some woman's genitalsl tightness!

But seriously, I once crawled inside Madonna’s woman's genitals because I thought it was a Motel 8.

It was easy to get confused, what with the great times stains covering everything!


My youngest song called me awhile back and asked me why I forgot his birthday.

It’s hard to explain to an 8-year-old that you don’t love him.

That’s why I just hung up on him!

But seriously, I hate my children. I can only hope my rampant negligence, abuse, and unmasked contempt has destroyed their lives as thoroughly as they ****ed up mine!

But as much as I hate kids…

I’m still not going to use a condom!

Honestly, it’s just because I enjoy placenta so much.

It makes my hair so shiny!

I’m ****ing tired!

The Unknown Comic edited this message on 04/04/2009 11:42PM

Gene Gene the Dancing Machines Legs 1932-2001

There are no gongs in Heaven, friend.

RAVE REVIEWS FROM ALL AROUND THE WORLD

Hongz:comic is just so cool

Shii: Oh dude, yeh. Unknown Comic is p funny.

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Hey its me, Raepdog long friend of The Unknown Comic’s ex-wife. Im just here to say no one give this unfunny hack a god damned cent its all going to cheap liquor and cheaper whores.

The Unknown -
Comic

Avatar: 95506 Tue Dec 09 09:40:49 -0500 2008

[Gimmick Alts and R-
ole-Players Local -
Union 352
]

Level 2 Re-Re

I'M AWESOME APPRECIATE ME PLZ

OH MY GOD AND WITH THAT LADIES AND GENTLEMEN WE HAVE REACHED OUR GOAL.

THanks to so many wonderful people. I want to thank Was, Aristofl, and Swine. I want to thank Charlie Daniels, Ed Koch, The Feltch Brothers, the tallest midget, Ronnie Knievel, Buck Owens, Anthony Bourdain, and Anne Rice and so many more that I’m forgetting because of the death march that has been this telethon.

Now to conceive my new gimmick alt!


Gene Gene the Dancing Machines Legs 1932-2001

There are no gongs in Heaven, friend.

RAVE REVIEWS FROM ALL AROUND THE WORLD

Hongz:comic is just so cool

Shii: Oh dude, yeh. Unknown Comic is p funny.

Log in to see images!

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