Officer: I’m here to investigate your harbumment of others on this website. Your ip address has already been logged and the police department in your district will be notified.

AnonyFur: Hello.

AnonyFur: Nice try.

AnonyFur: Badge number?

AnonyFur: Log in to see images!

Officer: You are aware of the cyber harbumment division that president Obama recently signed into law?

AnonyFur: No.

AnonyFur: Are you aware of habeous corpus?

AnonyFur: Can I see some evidence?

Officer: You’re guilty of offense HR 304 regarding unlawful usage of a public chat program to post offensive material readily viewable.

AnonyFur: See above.

AnonyFur: Do you have evidence?

AnonyFur: Or are you just a failing troll?

Officer: President Obama’s recent executive decision allows government officials to confront people.

AnonyFur: That, sir, is irrelevant.

AnonyFur: That is not relevant to my request of evidence.

Officer: Additionally, habeus corpus DOES NOT cover federal investigations, only detainment.

AnonyFur: Correct.

AnonyFur: My apologies.

AnonyFur: Is that how long it took you to google the term?

AnonyFur: But, it is fully within my rights to request your badge number.

Officer: It’s unwise to not cooperate with a federal investigator.

AnonyFur: How qam

AnonyFur: How am I being uncooperative?

AnonyFur: You made no requests of me.

AnonyFur: I’m simply asking questions of you.

Officer: Incorrect. Obama’s executive decision regarding my division does not require a “badge number” to be given, as we are a federal investigation group and are not some local police.

AnonyFur: Exactly.

Officer: I’ve been trained. Now, it’s my turn to ask you questions.

AnonyFur: QAlright.

Officer: Are you harbuming this site for monetary, terroristic, or for reasons regarding political dissent?

AnonyFur: Define “harrasment”, sir.

Officer: Are you participating in this harbumment with others in a coordinated effort to cause problems for users of this service?

Officer: Answer my questions.

AnonyFur: I’m asking for clarification.

Officer: I’m an investigator, not a dictionary.

AnonyFur: I’m simply asking you to define harrasment in the scope of the law.

AnonyFur: Fully within my rights.

Officer: It is.

Officer: You are correct there.

Officer: However, I am not obligated to define the law for you, as per my investigative instructions.

Officer: I’m here to ask questions while my office contacts your ISP. It would be in your interest to answer my questions.

AnonyFur: If you are unable to clarify your requests, I am not obligated to answer your questions as I do not have a full concept of your request.

AnonyFur: Here’s a question – Under what order do you have this authority?

Officer: HX 304

AnonyFur: That is nonsensical.

AnonyFur: That references no Executive Order I can see record of.

Officer: I see

Officer: It is recommended you answer my above questions.

AnonyFur: The second you give me SOLID proof of your authority.

AnonyFur: ie. a badge number, a real legal body

AnonyFur: *body of text

Officer: Because I am of the online harbumment division, I am not required. I am simply mandated to acquire information, and testimoney while your IP address is being processed.

AnonyFur: Well, I believe I’ll rely on the old fall-back:

Officer: You may think you’re a lawyer because you listen to Alex Jones, but these questions are designed to filter out false complaints as the ISP is obligated to send logs to my office.

AnonyFur: I refuse to say any more without consulting legal counsel.

Officer: Very well, that is perfectly within your rights.

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welp never gonna get those minutes of my life back