muktuk Posted:

I had inappropriate thoughts about little girls and cried alot. Then I wrote stellar poetry and prose. ACTIVATE EMO POWERS!!!!

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Oh, Lewis Carroll? I’m only guessing from the link name…interesting. But at lot of people claim to have started emo, I could see Carroll being one of the first, although, I might remind you of Nero… Log in to see images!

What, no love for Poe? Yeah, it;s cliche.. but the dude married a fourteen year old, who then like, died by bleeding through her eyes. And then he was on cocain and wrote about how people should die and his wife waz dead and if you kill and old dude just burn the heart.

Or Oscar Wilde. He wrote a collection of children’s stories once… where everyone basically died and was destroyed emotionally. Does being really really gay make you more or *less* emo? I mean, you could get killed for that ****, so maybe more emo?

I figured. Dude was basically screwed. And I think he was on opium- everyone was on cocain and opium in the 1800s.

So if Oscar Wilde diddn’t invent Emo he was probably one of the best at it. I mean, listen to this.

Oscar Wilde Posted:

IKE burnt-out torches by a sick man’s bed

Gaunt cypress-trees stand round the sun-bleached stone;

Here doth the little night-owl make her throne,

And the slight lizard show his jewelled head.

And, where the chaliced poppies flame to red,

In the still chamber of yon pyramid

Surely some Old-World Sphinx lurks darkly hid,

Grim warder of this pleasaunce of the dead.

Ah! sweet indeed to rest within the womb

Of Earth, great mother of eternal sleep,

But sweeter far for thee a restless tomb

In the blue cavern of an echoing deep,

Or where the tall ships founder in the gloom

Against the rocks of some wave-shattered steep.

The Grave of Shelley

Recommencer Posted:

I concur. To which, I mention The Portrait of Dorian Grey.

Right. Guy is super pretty. Other guy makes him worry about *not* being prety, and firstguy sells his soul to the devil for eternal youth. Cue long slide into debauchery and existential angst, with a lot of suggestions that he’s banging his best friend who’s in love with him. And again, opium.

Depressing hugely *over* poetic book that teaches the lesson that even the greatest pleasures looks and money can give you will only make you a shell of a human being.

Summary: Pretty guys, opium, sex, , gay sex, opium, angst, flowery text, sad ending, the Devil, Unrequited love, opium, and Humans Suck.

So. Damn. Emo. We can only *dream* of such epic, epic Emo.

And don;t forget ****ing peoples wives and his own sister in the *middle of a banquet*

Bill_Murray_Fan_7383 Posted:

Holy **** I thought this was going to be a **** thread but it’s actually pretty cool. Log in to see images!

If we’re talking about Roman emperors, than I nominate Caligula for first troll. That fine upstanding member of society had children executed in front of their parents, laughing/joking about it all the while.

Caligula has his place, certainly. I just question how much pain he actually felt inside. See, Nero fiddled not to celebrate, but to express the amount of power he had just razed upon Rome. It was the ultimate suicide note.

Though I wouldn’t kick Caligula out of bed, either.

Recommencer Posted:

Oh, my sweet Baron, I disagree! Your torchsong of torture will come, I bumure you. We all will have ours, just stick close to me, you’ll see eventually.

You’re right, Recommencer. I just have to stay strong… and maybe try to find some opium. At least then, I could drift in a sweet ocean free of the torture of this waking life…

And if we’re talking about Biblical, what about Cain? Eternally misunderstood for lashing out against a cruel god who rejected his offerings, his own father and brother abusing him for his failure. Doomed to eternally walk the earth in darkness without rest.

I even heard maybe he was the first vampire, because God hated him so much that his very blood was tainted. He would understand… Oh, Cain…

Verily.

So, if you can be cursed by god himself, forced to wander the earth eternally, sell your soul to Satan, fall into a soul destroying slide of decadence, do lots of Opium, and write prose to make mankind weep for generations… *then* you can become the very dark soul of Emo. And the world will greive for your tragic death.

I… I’ll be back… just have to go weep as I write out the feelings of despair for the unreachable goal set upon us by a hateful god.Log in to see images!

Oscar Wilde was totally emo.