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Show me the funny and I'll show you 4 bp
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The funniest joke that I’ve never heard gets 4 bp.
The twist is that the jokes have to be clean, on account of the fact that really good clean jokes are few and far between.
This contest will end on Saturday the 21st of February. |
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| Posted On: 02/17/2009 6:52PM |
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...I love typos in my ****ing titles.
NotJoePesci Posted:
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| Posted On: 02/17/2009 6:54PM |
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NotJoePesci Posted:
fixed |
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| Posted On: 02/17/2009 6:55PM |
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MC Banhammer Posted:
That’s why I love you. Log in to see images! |
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| Posted On: 02/17/2009 6:56PM |
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Uh, so this scientist figures out that there’s a breed of dolphin that could live forever if they were fed a steady diet of young seagulls. So one day he runs out of seagulls and has to head out to the cliffs to capture some more. He goes out, catches the seagulls and starts to head home, when he turns the corner and finds a pride of lions smack dab in his path. He’s terrified, but the lions are all asleep, so he carefully tries to tiptoe over them…
WHEN ALL OF A SUDDEN he is arrested — for transporting young gulls across sedate lions for immortal porpoises.
*faceplant*
Hooray for horribly complicated puns? |
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| Posted On: 02/17/2009 7:06PM |
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Someone saw a blonde eating a Tootsie Roll Pop and asked her, “So, how many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll – Tootsie Pop?”
Without a thought, the blonde replied, “Beats me, but it took almost the whole day just to lick through the wrapper. |
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| Posted On: 02/17/2009 7:06PM |
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Miss Prince Posted:
I admit, I laughed. |
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| Posted On: 02/17/2009 7:13PM |
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what is the difference between a chicken and the kyoto protocol?
one is a domestic fowl and the other is an international convention on climate change |
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| Posted On: 02/17/2009 7:13PM |
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Joe Pesci is to being funny.. as Not Joe Pesci is to being unfunny!
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| Posted On: 02/17/2009 7:16PM |
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If progress means to go forward, and con is the opposite of pro, then what is congress? |
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| Posted On: 02/17/2009 7:28PM |
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A colored guy, a Jew and a Mexican walk into a bar and the bartender says… ...GTFO!!! |
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| Posted On: 02/17/2009 7:29PM |
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I’ve got a complaint about your mother I asked for a prostitute with a woman's genitals I was mistaken Thye sent me her and her 10 inch male reproductive organ! Log in to see images! Shinobu edited this message on 02/17/2009 7:31PM |
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| Posted On: 02/17/2009 7:31PM |
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Log in to see images!
MOD EDIT: User warned about trolling non-trolling contests gaynigger94 was banned for this post by Evil Trout gaynigger94 edited this message on 07/23/2009 2:25PM |
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| Posted On: 02/17/2009 7:35PM |
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gayfine upstanding member of society94
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Sarah was sitting in front of the mirror one night and sighed: ‘Oh Abraham, I am eighty years old. My hair isn’t as beautiful as it used to be, I have gained weight, I no longer have my own teeth. I feel so ugly sometimes, please darling, give me a compliment!’
To which Abraham replies: ‘Well, apparently your eyes are still in pretty good shape.’
Log in to see images! |
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| Posted On: 02/17/2009 7:52PM |
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You know Quasimodo, the hunchback of Notre-Dame? Great.
So Quasimodo has been the bell ringer for awhile now, and frankly, he’s been getting quite old. The arthritis in his hump has been getting to him, and he’s a tad senile. One day, Quasimodo decided he needed someone to replace him as bell ringer of Notre-Dame. He searched everywhere, put up posters, even advertised, but no one fit the bell ringer persona. One day, there was an applicant who came to see him. This applicant seemed really enthusiastic. Quasimodo asked, “Why do you want to be a bell ringer?” The applicant responded, “Oh, my grandfather was a bell ringer, my father was a bell ringer, and it’s been my dream to be a bell ringer as well.” Quasimodo said “Great, but you have no arms.” And sure enough, the applicant had no arms, just little stumps. But the applicant persisted “Oh sir, please trust me. Here! It’s 4PM? Let me ring the bell 4 times.” Quasimodo was curious, so he let the applicant try. The applicant went right up to the bell, leaned back and to Quasimodos dismay, slammed his head into the bell. The bell was ringing but the applicant looked terrible. His face was bleeding, his nose looked fractured, and some teeth were chipped. Quasimodo said “That’s great, you’re done”. But the applicant continued a second time. He ran up to the bell, leaned back, and slammed his head into it. Now his face looked really hurt, his nose was surely broken and blood was running from his left eye. Quasimodo tried to usher him out, but the applicant wouldn’t have any of it. He went up to the bell, leaned back, but before he could hit the bell, he fell off the side of the belltower. Quasimodo ran down as fast as he could. A crowd had formed and he pushed his to the body. A priest solemnly stood over the body, and said “Quasimodo, do you know this man?” And Quasimodo said, ”No, but his face rings a bell”. -MLF- edited this message on 02/17/2009 8:20PM |
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| Posted On: 02/17/2009 7:52PM |
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Three men went to hell. The devil said to them “You have come to hell, and you must now choose whether to spend eternity in room 1, 2 or 3” He then opened the doors to the three rooms. Room 1 was filled with men standing on their heads, on a hard wooden floor. Room 2 was filled with men standing on the heads, on a cement floor. Finally, room 3 had just a few men, standing in **** up to their knees and drinking coffee. The men thought for a while, and decided to go with room 3, as it was less crowded and they could drink coffee. They entered the door to room 3 and just as it was closing behind them, the devil said “OK men, coffee break’s over. Back on your heads.” Log in to see images! After just a few years of marriage, filled with constant arguments, a young man and his wife decided the only way to save their marriage was to try counseling. They had been at each other’s throat for some time and felt that this was their last straw. When they arrived at the counselor’s office, the counselor jumped right in and opened the floor for discussion. “What seems to be the problem?” Immediately, the husband held his long face down without anything to say. On the other hand, the wife began talking 90 miles an hour describing all the wrongs within their marriage. After 5…10…15 minutes of listening to the wife, the counselor went over to her, picked her up by her shoulders, kissed her pbumionately for several minutes, and sat her back down. Afterwards, the wife sat there speechless. He looked over at the husband who was staring in disbelief at what had happened. The counselor spoke to the husband, “Your wife NEEDS that at least twice a week!” The husband scratched his head and replied, “I can have her here every Tuesdays and Thursdays.” leftalon2cry edited this message on 02/17/2009 8:09PM |
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| Posted On: 02/17/2009 8:02PM |
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Okay, I have another one.
3 elephants are sitting in a bathtub. One says “pbum the soap”, the other says ”No soap, RADIO!” |
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| Posted On: 02/17/2009 8:11PM |
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MeatLoafFan Posted: Clbumic. |
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| Posted On: 02/17/2009 8:15PM |
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MOD EDIT: User banned for trolling non-trolling contest
USER EDIT: Removed Joke Phariad was banned for this post by Evil Trout Phariad edited this message on 07/23/2009 2:25PM |
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| Posted On: 02/17/2009 8:28PM |
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You know whats p. awesome? Not trolling my ****ing contest, you **** heads. |
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| Posted On: 02/17/2009 8:33PM |
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