TheAlbatross Posted:

Note: any actual likenesses to fictional or actual people should be taken completely serious and made a big deal of.

Hi my name is Edgar von Struessell. I am currently 39 years old and live with my parents in New Amsterdam, Indiana. I work at the local adult video store where i often masturbate to various pornographical features. I often get made fun of for my sexuality, asexual, as in i reproduce without sex, which also makes me superior. I have my Masters in Prostitution and am working on my Ph.D. in Illegal Gambling. I have been working on inventing a new drug to follow up my first creation, cocaine, to make available for mainstream use.

Whats your story?

I am someone who lives in Indianapolis, and drives around Indiana looking for young men and women to drag back to my trailer for some tea and enjoy before strangling them with a twizzler and stuffing them under my porch.