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True story - I'm in a hotel
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I travel with work sometimes.
I live and work in London, but I’ve had meetings in the North of England, and I’ve got more meetings in the same sort of area tomorrow so I’m staying in a very cheap hotel up here tonight. The hotel room consists of a bathroom, a bed, a TV, a kettle and some 1980s carpet and wallpaper.
The couple next door to me is having sex.
It’s very slow and rather rhythmical… I can hear a very loud slap, then a grunt from him, then a squeal from her… Then a pause, then the same again. At first I thought that he was giving her some sort of spanking, but it sounds far too slow and methodical for that.
She says, every now and again, in her broad Northern accent, “That’s it, right there, I love it when you do it like that.” Occasionally the wording is slightly different, but it’s pretty much the same each time. I’d say that she make such an expression every 4 strokes/slaps or so.
I’m probably too drunk to masturbate, but not quite drunk enough to knock on the door and offer to join in. |
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| Posted On: 12/02/2008 5:35PM |
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Record it, if you remix it I can get you a gold record baby. |
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| Posted On: 12/02/2008 5:37PM |
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Grayson81 Posted:
DO IT. |
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| Posted On: 12/02/2008 5:40PM |
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UPDATE: He’s just great times.
Or at least, he’s made a loud exhaling sound, and she’s stopped making any noise at all for the last two minutes or so. For some reason I can’t help feeling that if I try to get to sleep now, they’ll start again just as I’m beginning to doze off…
Next time I’m going to demand that my work put me up in a nicer hotel… |
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| Posted On: 12/02/2008 5:58PM |
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Knock on the door and ask them how it was.
Edit:
actually, great times on yourself then go over and ask them if it was as good for them as it was for you. TUBSWEETIE edited this message on 12/02/2008 6:01PM |
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| Posted On: 12/02/2008 6:00PM |
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Grayson81 Posted:
Dude record that **** for real. Or next time your in a hotel. |
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| Posted On: 12/02/2008 6:01PM |
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TUBSWEETIE Posted: That is the funniest ****ing thing I’ve heard all week |
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| Posted On: 12/02/2008 6:03PM |
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Log in to see images! |
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| Posted On: 12/02/2008 6:06PM |
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7VibratingRaepdogs Posted:
Believe me, I thought of recording it a good few minutes before I started this thread.
It turns out that the walls are thin enough for me to be able to hear them quite well, but thick enough for the tiny, crappy microphone in my Macbook not to be able to pick them up properly. I’ve got a 90 second recording that I thought would be of the two of them having sex.
Instead, when I turn the volume up REALLY high, I can hear some very throaty, scratchy breathing. After a while I realised that I could hear my own breathing and I’m now trying to work out why I sound like a 70 year old who smokes 40 a day in these audio files. |
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| Posted On: 12/02/2008 6:07PM |
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Grayson81 Posted:
They’ll do it again in 20. Get a better mic quick. Possible BP if its good. |
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| Posted On: 12/02/2008 6:08PM |
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Why o why is this thread in a role-playing forum? OP, can I move it to Ayn Rands? |
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| Posted On: 12/02/2008 6:10PM |
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this thread is going places |
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| Posted On: 12/02/2008 6:11PM |
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MC Banhammer Posted:
Feel free, I wasn’t quite sure where it belonged…
I’m in a state of shock and I’m not sure of much right now… |
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| Posted On: 12/02/2008 6:12PM |
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There’s gotta be a better vantage point for recording.
We require a recording.
I stand by my suggestion of going to talk to them. During their sexing go knock on the door and if they respond, ask them for toilet paper. |
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| Posted On: 12/02/2008 6:19PM |
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Grayson81 Posted:
You have 20 min to get a recorder thats not ****. Own rock band, that mic can be used.
****, were are you? State? I’m coming with my portable sound booth. |
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| Posted On: 12/02/2008 6:19PM |
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7VibratingRaepdogs Posted:
Leeds. If anyone knows the KoL/FW player Pants, I seem to remember him mentioning that it’s his home town.
It’s a bit late to come over with a portable sound booth, it’s all gone quite now. After I mentioned that the guy sounded like he’d finished, it was all quiet for about 10 minutes, then I could hear someone walking to the bathroom and showering, then walking back to bed… Then it was all quiet again.
These walls are too thin. I actually felt quite dirty when I heard her (I’m presuming that he’d gone to sleep and that it was her) showering… It usually takes a hell of a lot to make me feel dirty. Grayson81 edited this message on 12/02/2008 6:37PM |
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| Posted On: 12/02/2008 6:36PM |
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Be alert and try to record again. Or to make them feel naughty start slamming your hands on the wall and scream:
‘Ugh. Yeah ram that in there, ram the whole thing in there, yeah you know Im a naughty whore and thats how I like it. The phone too!’
Record responses. |
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| Posted On: 12/02/2008 6:40PM |
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Grayson81 Posted:
Turn up your PC’s sound all the way. Put the speaker part against the adjoining wall.
Then play this: |
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| Posted On: 12/02/2008 6:42PM |
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lol cheap hotel/motel check for semen traces in your own room before you go to sleep. |
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| Posted On: 12/02/2008 6:51PM |
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PROTIP: Ceiling tiles are easily removed
If the hotel had a drop ceiling (I don’t know if yours did or not, I’ve seen them in some of the cheesier ones I’ve stayed in) you could’ve just stuck your laptop up in the ceiling, slid it above their room, and gotten a decent recording. Remember this for the next time, k? Log in to see images! |
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| Posted On: 12/03/2008 11:02AM |
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