I’ve got a little list, I’ve got a little list/Of society offenders who might well be underground/And who never would be missed, who never would be missed!

Hey kids!

Remember back in high school when you had a list of mortal enemies you kept in the back of your ring binder, with footnotes describing exactly how you planned to murder each and every one of them in cold blood? And then it was found by your English teacher and the **** reported you to the principal, and you had to be transferred to the “intensive program” for the next couple of years?

Well, this list is a bit like that. It’s my personal, frequently updated list of enemies. Now that my friends have been determined, I’m making this list public knowledge, just like my homedawg Richard Nixon. I’m also listing my “frenemies,” a cross between friends and enemies and probably deserve a smackdown.

So if you don’t see your name on this list, don’t you pay no never-mind. And if your name is on this list…I’ll see YOU in Hell! Log in to see images!

Enemies

– Hobart Bliggity: Relentlessly unfunny troll with a stupid screen name. Also, probably a fabulous person.

– Odalisque: This chick trolls me at every opportunity and sucks at it. Also, she’s an IRL camwhore who’s never once shown us them titties.

– Jalapeno_Bootyhole: Fake-bum trick.

– AKK: The ****wad who wrote that negative article about us on Encyclopedia Dramatica, explaining that the original, accurate version was “gay.” Made a lifelong commitment to ruin Forumwarz.

– SuperMonkeyMan: Serial forumbuildr downvoter who actually bragged about it in Flamebate. Pretty sure he has something to do with our nasty ED article, too. Prick.

– CoreyJess: Unless it’s all an elaborate plot, CoreyJess has managed to redeem himself.

– Maximum Douche: Lord of the Douche, as they say. Also, all of his alts.

– quangntenemy: Declared self as my archenemy. Sure, what the hell.

– SIG-ENABLING MOCK-CONGLER: Incoherent trolling oldfabulous person. Called me a “dumbhead,” which in some circles is the gravest insult that could possibly be uttered.

– gigerth: C’mon, you hate him too.

– Angry hobo: More like “Angry homo.” Am I correct in this observation?

– Laguna: fine upstanding member of society.

– P-doggie: See Laguna.

– Crinkz: Jerkface. Gets banned a lot.

– elenaratelimit: For elena, there shall be no “enjoy limit.” Log in to see images!

– Veer: Veer?! More like fabulous person!

Frenemies

– Nicco: Annoying troll who tried to redeem himself by applying for BFF status. Might be a lost cause.

– Fran: I was mistaken. Fran’s cool.

– FalconFour: Thought he was alright, but…dawg, he gay.

– FAIL: Contributed a lot to Forumwarz, but also made that animated gif of me and keeps getting his bum banned.

– BINGEBOT 2015: IRL friend and collaborator who sold me out to FAIL and kicked me out of my own Klan. Farts relentlessly at Crotch Zombie meetings.

– Evil Trout: IRL friend and collaborator who pretends my bugs are “low priority,” then plays Xbox for six hours. Is the reason why I smell like a thousand Pakistani armpits after every meeting.

Veer Posted:

shut the **** up

fine upstanding member of society

Good work.

wow how is this fabulous person on the dev team? seek professional help.

inb4fine upstanding member of society

Veer, dear god try for something original, you sound like Laguna.

Jalapeno Bootyhole Posted:

- quangntenemy: Declared self as my archenemy. Sure, what the hell.

Grasping, pathetic, unworthy of being your enemy, friend or grout mold, but as it has been declared I’ll see what I can do to make his life less enjoyable. :bats eyelashes and goes to sell deliveries:

It’s an honor to be amongst two CZ guise, as well as FAIL, in the Frenemies list. Talk about win.

And I think the Enemies list couldn’t possibly be more accurate. It reflects the FWZ winrarz and luzars perfectly.

edit: Except Maximum Douche. Maximum Douche is ****ing win.

Arbiter Posted:

wow how is this fabulous person on the dev team? seek professional help.

inb4fine upstanding member of society

The reason I’m on the “dev team” is because I dev’d this game. Anyway, you’ve got a long way to go before you get on my enemies list, son. Lurk moar Log in to see images!

i’m going to bang my male reproductive organ against the keyboard and what comes out will be better thana ny of the post sin this thread

ttyjtgn7yu

OH **** I WASTED TEN SECONDS POSTING IN THIS TOPIC

OH **** YOU JUST WASTED FIVE SECONDS READING THIS POST

THIS TOPIC IS TRULY A CURSE UPON HUMANITY Log in to see images!

Boring and tedious thread.

Of course, OP did help write this game, so that’s no big surprise.

How did I make the enemies list? All I said was that you’re an unfunny fabulous person who likes having his sphincter licked by lots and lots of dudes.

Since this description was both true and appropriate, I don’t see why you should be so bumhurt about it.

EDIT: actually, in my original post, I didn’t even say you were an unfunny fabulous person. That fact has just recently been brought to my attention.