I’ve been a Furry for 10 years now and want to stop. The problem is that the group of furs that I hang out with don’t like me now and if I took my fursuit off, they would probably beat me up and kill me. My last boyfriend (a cute b/w wolf) gave me herpes on my bum and now I have a hard time taking a ****. Sometimes I have to take an Ex-lax so my **** will come out easy.

I’ve never had sex with a girl, because I don’t know how to pick them up. That’s why I turned Furry. But now I’m just tired of guys ripping my bum when they don’t use lubrication. I’ve had to get stitches three times. I went out with a fox last night who said he only gives, he doesn’t receive, so I had to suck his male reproductive organ and he made me swallow or he would kick my bum.

Help me out here FW, what should I do?

AKK, 27, Canada

What do you recommend I do?

I’m so confused, help me internet?

Don’t worry guys, I think I have found a solution!

I just spent the last twenty minutes rubbing a twelve year old girl’s bare chest.

“How?” you ask. Well apparently there are a select few contexts within which such an action is acceptable. For instance, if your niece has a hacking cough and your sister asks you to “put some of this on her” while she calls the doctor.

“Putting some of this on hear” meant using my bare hands to rub this vapor ointment **** all over her BARE NAKED CHEST. My heartbeat is still all erratic from it. I had a boner the size of Manhattan the entire time. She’s sleeping now and I guess she feels better because she stopped coughing.

Details: She’s about 5 feet tall, has long brown hair, a cute face, a thin waist and long skinny legs. She’s in jammies I think because although I’m pretty shaken up right now I know I unbumoned something before I went at it.

God I feel so great. I just rubbed my hands all over her ****ING mammary glands, you guys. Well the puffy parts of her chest anyway. Her nipples got hard. I just about wept tears of joy.

I didn’t do anything else because I’m a coward and rubbing was enough. Plus it was legal and I didn’t technically do anything wrong, so I’m in the clear.

I’d write more but I seriously have to go fap while the memory is fresh in my head.

AKK Posted:

Don’t worry guys, I think I have found a solution!

I just spent the last twenty minutes rubbing a twelve year old girl’s bare chest.

“How?” you ask. Well apparently there are a select few contexts within which such an action is acceptable. For instance, if your niece has a hacking cough and your sister asks you to “put some of this on her” while she calls the doctor.

“Putting some of this on hear” meant using my bare hands to rub this vapor ointment **** all over her BARE NAKED CHEST. My heartbeat is still all erratic from it. I had a boner the size of Manhattan the entire time. She’s sleeping now and I guess she feels better because she stopped coughing.

Details: She’s about 5 feet tall, has long brown hair, a cute face, a thin waist and long skinny legs. She’s in jammies I think because although I’m pretty shaken up right now I know I unbumoned something before I went at it.

God I feel so great. I just rubbed my hands all over her ****ING mammary glands, you guys. Well the puffy parts of her chest anyway. Her nipples got hard. I just about wept tears of joy.

I didn’t do anything else because I’m a coward and rubbing was enough. Plus it was legal and I didn’t technically do anything wrong, so I’m in the clear.

I’d write more but I seriously have to go fap while the memory is fresh in my head.

why not go out and have sex with actual wome-ahahahahhaha never mind

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