enire Posted:

Ugh… Enoby… please refrain from sharing this drivel with us.

Inertia, look what you’ve started.

I’m gonna start a petition to get Enoby banned until this thread dies. She’s like a ****ing train wreck; I can’t look away, no matter how miserable it makes me to see it. Log in to see images!

EDIT: Petition to Ban Enoby here. Sign your name or just vote “yes.” There are no other options.

What’s your problem, Jew?

Entry: Who the hell cares?

Well, things couldn’t have gone much worse than this. I completely forgot about the metal detectors. This doesn’t explain why I wasn’t picked up before I left England, but I’m bumuming that one was broken.

The police have confiscated five knifes, two guns, one taser, a handful of long needles, a molotov male reproductive organtail, a lighter, several vials of poison and a rubber duck.

I am unsure as to where the duck came from.

Through a bit of ingenious trickery, involving a paper clip and the remains of a dead mouse, I managed to escape from the facility where I was being held. Already, I am a wanted man, and I haven’t even found Ebony’s house.

Disregarding my utterly hopeless situation, I still need to replenish my now empty supply of weapons. Maybe that shifty looking bearded man can help me?

enire Posted:

As much contempt as I have for that that drooling zomboid freak, I don’t think killing her is a good idea. Really.

Look, go home to England. Sign my Ban Enoby petition. Take your medication.

As soon as Banhammer and Bootyhole see the ridiculous number of signatures on the petition — I’m sure everyone will sign it soon enough — Enoby will be permabanned for fabulous personry, and we’ll be free.

Think about the consequences of killing her: You’ll probably be executed, and Enoby’s parents will sue Crotch Zombie, forcing ForumWarz to be shut down. Think about SKA. Think about your klanmates. Pull yourself together.

I WOULD go home, except that now they know my face, they’re never going to let me on a plane again. In addition to that, even if banned from Forumwarz, Ebony would still be corrupting the internet with her foul presence.

And I need answers. Why? Why send the powder in the post? As I recall, she wasn’t even involved with Forumwarz at that point. This burning desire for the truth will haunt me until I learn just what has been going on. However terrible the secret may be.

Plus, um, I, uh, I kinda killed a cop. Apparently, that shady looking gentleman was actually in disguise for a stakeout. I inquired about weaponry, he recognised me and tried calling for backup, so I, uh, picked up a rock and smashed his face in.

I didn’t mean to kill him. Honest.

King Krimson edited this message on 09/26/2008 2:43PM

enire Posted:

Look, KK… I’d like to come out there and bring you home myself, but I’ve got, uh, things to attend to here. But listen, I have a contact in Dubai. He can help you get the, er, dogreat timesents you’ll need. I’ll wire him some money for your airfare, too. He’s staying at the Admiral Plaza Hotel on Al Nahada Street. Just go to the front desk and ask for Abu Garcia.

Well, I’ll go and do that then.

Just after I confront and kill/maim/otherwise indispose Ebony.

Well, that was an odd couple of hours. So, basically, after all the excitement yesterday, I decided to make some sleeping quarters out of an old cardboard box, and crash in an alley somewhere.

A few homeless people tried to take my box away from me, but most of them failed. I only lost my box when a geriatric gentleman wearing an eyepatch threatened me at gunpoint for it, so I spent the rest of the night boxless.

In the morning, I started to head for Ebony’s residence. I reached the house around mid-afternoon, and currently I am scoping out the house, trying to determine a way in. After I’ve found a suitable entry point, I will make my first move.

Wish me luck.

King Krimson edited this message on 09/27/2008 3:13PM

Log in to see images!

Pick up the nearest dildo in Enobys room, I’m sure it will be black. Beat her senseless with it then shove it down her throat for major points. Log in to see images!

So it has come to this. I am now opening the door.

My heart is in my throat.

This could quite possibly be the last you hear from me.

If so, then farewell, my friends.

(Note: Head to IDC.)