Agents:

Thanks to Miss Trent’s cleav— er, clever thinking, she was able to get into the Crime Scene Steri-Clean warehouses and secure us sample of the tissue collected from the scene of “Murderousness’” death.

Log in to see images!

Miss Trent also snagged a tissue sample from guardrail at the scene of Gentlemens’ death.

Log in to see images!

Those two weird girls that hang around here (I think they call themselves Janie and Noturnal_Heartache) also got us a sample from nanafabulous personjesus’ car tires.

Log in to see images!

I, well… when I suggested that we should get these samples, I was kind of bumuming that an agency of this calibre would have some sort of forensic anthropologist on staff, but apparently I bumumed wrong… Anyways, I have done the work myself. I managed to remember enough of first year genetics to compare DNA samples from these tissues with ones we had on file.

You guys owe me big time. I’ll have bad trips for a month.

The results are, well… interesting, to say the least:

Log in to see images!

First of all, the sample gathered from “Murderousness” is… well, not Murderousness. It does not appear to belong to anyone we have on file. But it seems quite likely that someone wanted us to think that it was Murderousness.

Second, and it pains me to say this, the sample gathered from the guardrail really does belong to Gentlemen. I’m sorry.

Third, the sample taken from nanafabulous personjesus’s car is very mysterious, although probably not of interest as far as this case is concerned. It was, well… not human DNA, but very human-like. At first, I thought it might belong to a non-human primate, perhaps an escaped monkey from the zoo, but the profile did not match any of the simian DNA profiles listed in the Smithsonian’s database. It was… well… more human than that. So I… well, I tested it against that Bigfoot head you guys have in the barn, and… yeah. Nana seems to have killed a Sasquatch. So she’s not a person of interest in the current case, but we may wish to talk to her in the future.

But for now, we are left with some very pressing questions:

(1) Where is Murderousness?

(2) Who wants us to believe that Murderousness is dead, and why?

I must sleep now. 72 hours of poking away at bits of meat is exhausting, even with the help of stimulants. Please ponder these questions, and let us discuss them at our earliest convenience. Preferably after 12 noon.

Nana has a cool car.

Balcony Critics Posted:

q

I must say that I do agree.

EDIT: Lol, ****in’ up on your posts. I CAUGHTCHA!!!